


A Maknae's First Kiss

by proudarmy_br



Series: Love is Mutual [1]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Family Issues, First Kiss, First Love, Forbidden Love, Homophobia, Inspired by Real Events, Internal Conflict, KookV all the way, M/M, Male Homosexuality, References to Depression, VKook at the start, yoonmin at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-02-12 11:37:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 77,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12958377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proudarmy_br/pseuds/proudarmy_br
Summary: TH: Kookie… Do you want me to do it?JK: huh?TH: Kiss you. Do you want me to kiss you?





	1. Drunk Late Night Confessions

Even since their debut they never really had the time to gather and hang out, grab a few beers, go to a karaoke room, or anything you expect people to do in their teens. Instead, whenever they had some free time they would rather sleep or play games for hours straight.

It was way back in 2014 and they had just finished an exhausting but successful rehearsal, and despite no being very fond of alcohol, Yoongi suggested they bought a few beers and headed back to the dorms to play some games like the old trainee times. Living together for over a year there was really not much to talk about, but just being around each other and talking nonsense felt good enough, so it was really just an excuse to drink and fool around.

 

Almost too drunk to function after only a few drinks, Hoseok sat on his heels and stated:

HS: I really wasn't gonna tell, but it's just so funny I can't keep it to myself. - he said before falling into a fit of hysterical laughter all by himself - I was wandering around the rehearsal room last week and I overheard a few girls talking about Suga hyung. - at the mention of the word "girls" all the boys suddenly got way too interested in the subject, and so they all set their cans aside and waited for Hoseok to continue - one of them said that he is really charming and cool, like, bad boy vibe and all... but it was such a shame that he was gay. - it took everyone a few seconds to process the sentence, but as soon as they did they all covered their mouths and whipped their heads towards Yoongi whose eyes widened and face looked even more pale than usual.

 

YG: Wait, what the fuck!? - he asked, shock all over his face.

Jin: Woahh... that's mean. How come you just let them say things like this? – he asked bitterly pointing a finger to Hoseok who just shrugged and kept staring at the drink in his hand.

JK: You should have said something in his behalf, hyung! You know how this kind of thing can become rumors, what if people think it's true? - he added from where he was lying on the floor, all strains of beer and whatever the hell he was eating over his face and shirt.

RM: You guys can't let people talk about our members! Specially trainees, they talk too much and it spread too fast. – Namjoon whined bitterly wearing his well-known worried leader face.

Jimin, who have been staring blankly at the wall for over ten minutes, lost in his own drunk world, finally took interest in the subject. Turning around to face the rest of the group and glaring thoughtfully at Yoongi, he stated out of the blue:

JM: You know... I get why they said it. I mean, they kind of have a point, tho. Hyung never ever showed any interest in girls. Hyung, what’s wrong with you? - it was true that the alcohol gave people the courage to say things they have been holding in for a while, but as soon as Jimin let that out he could hear everyone's breath getting caught in their throats. Yoongi, luckily, seemed too tipsy to care and just remained silently sipping on his beer, not even glancing at Jimin.

TH: Jimin, what the..? - he threw a pillow at him, mouthing a "do you have a death wish?"

YG: It's okay, Taehyung. Kids this days don't know respect. Anyway, this girls are just butt-hurt because they really don't attract me at all, and it hurts their ego. – he finally answered poker faced. That being said, Namjoon gave him a deep judgmental stare.

NJ: Ok, not to judge or anything, but... how come you never felt attracted to any of them? Honestly speaking I’de gladly go down with at least half of them. Actually, considering how long I’ve been deprived, make it all of them! Give me one more month and I'de even screw you! - at this statement everyone lost their shit and the room was filled with laughter, lightening the mood.

YG: Seriously, man, some of them are kind of pretty, but... I guess they are just not my style – he said dismissing the conversation.

HS: Dude, sorry but I’m totally with RapMon in this. To this extent... I mean, when was the last time I even kissed someone? I can’t even remember, honestly.

 

 

The elders continued their bickering while the maknaes remained silently watching. It's not like they had anything to add to the convo, considering spending their teenage years as trainees was anything but helpful to their nonexistent dating life. Trying to mingle and maybe tone down the subject a bit, Taehyung finally spoke:

TH: I’ve never even dated anyone since I joined the company. And considering meeting at school probably doesn't count, then I've literally never dated. - he said with a shrug

JM: Losers. - Jimin, on the other hand, had a girlfriend for over a year when he joined BigHit. He refused to break up with her until the fifteenth (and final, they warned) time he almost got spelled because of it. It was not the fact that he had a girlfriend, but the fact that he would jack school or even go as far as snick out in the middle of the night to meet her.

TH: You almost ended your entire career because of a girl, who are you even calling losers, dumb-ass? – he shouted and jumped on the older, pinning him on the ground and straddling him.

JM: Get off me, you animal! You are just jealous and thirsty. Maybe if you wouldn't lose so much time kissing sunbae's asses, you would have gotten some too! - he said fighting back, but considering his drunk state he wasn't being very successful.

TH: Oh, here it comes. Always the sunbaes... Are you seriously that jealous? Do you love me that much? You are seriously gay for me, aren't you, Jiminie? I'm feeling really nice today so I'll grant your wish and kiss this fat lips of yours. – he joked and started leaning down, and by this point Jimin started jumping up and down like a bull, finally managing to get rid of the younger, who took the opportunity to run away and hide behind Namjoon.

JM: I’m seriously gonna hit you so bad. Hyung, give me the kid! - he said trying to reach his friend beside Namjoon's backs.

JK: Why do you guys need to be so gross all the time? I seriously thought you guys were gonna kiss and I one seconds away from puking all over my shirt.

JM: Oh, I'm deeply sorry my perverted acts might have offended your innocent ass, Jungkookie. I forgot we have kids around. – Jimin turned to the maknae and bowed a whole 90 degrees in a sarcastic apology. 

JK: Then how does it feel to have kids taller than you, hyung? - he teased back and it was definitely successful, because in a matter of seconds Jimin was all over him and they started to fight playfully.

JM: Such a little kid, probably never even kissed anyone before, huh? - he cooed pinching the maknae's lips, only to have his hands slapped away - bet he even get boners watching Hanna Montana.  

YM: Seriously, why you kids are always so noisy? Can’t we just drink in silence? - he complained clicking his tongue.

JH: Don't be a party pooper, let the kids fight, it's funny.

 

Jungkook’s face might have turned at least 3 different shades of red after Jimin's remark, and when he finally managed to get rid of the older he lied down again facing the ceiling, closing his eyes and choosing to ignore the teasing. But of course Taehyung wouldn't just let it slide like this, so he started to tickle the younger until he forced him sit up. Still holding a sarcastic smile Jimin came forward again and pinched the maknae's cheeks "you have never, have you? poor baby Kookie", he cooed annoying the latter even further while the Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin remained in silence just watching the mess and deeply regretting the decision to let the younger drink.

 

Jin: Jimin, if you don't leave Jungkook alone I'll totally let him beat you. 

YG: And I'm totally going to record it.

JM: But I'm not doing anything, I'm just asking a simple question, that's all. 

JK: Oh my GOD, enough! - he finally had it and pushed the older away making him fall hard on his ass. I swear, you both are the worse! So annoying! - he shouted pointing a finger to Taehyung and Jimin - Do you really want an answer that bad? Fine: you are right. I haven't, ok? Happy, now? Go on, just make fun of me.

!He prepared himself for the teasing to come, but instead everyone just stared at him wearing confused expressions. Hoseok slowly got up and walked over him grabbing him by the wrist and looking directly into his eyes. “Are you serious?” he whispered and the younger merely nodded.

TH: What the… I really thought Jimin was joking!

JM: So did I! What the fuck, Jungkook, are you serious? How come... I was literally just trying to annoy him, I wouldn't have done it if I knew it was true!

JK: Why is it even that big of a deal? Whatever, just forget it and leave me alone, will you?

JM: No, it’s... it's not like that. It’s just weird, y'know? I mean, you are really good looking, and high school is like... well, it's fucking high school, so... 

 

JK: I know, it's just… I don’t even know. Like, because I’m BTS, it just feels wrong. It’s not like I’m just a regular high school guy like you guys were. Every time a girl approaches me I get totally creeped out, like, what if she is a sasaeng or something? So I just… you know... - he dismissed looking at his feet.

NJ: It makes perfect sense. You are being responsible, Jungkookie. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Actually, I never really thought about it. It must be hard on you, man.

JH: Yeah... you should have at least talked to us about it... - everyone sounded guilty and Jungkook felt even more annoyed because of it. Was it really that big of a fucking deal? Of course it bothers him, but it's not a damn tragedy.

JM: Don’t worry, Kookie, alien hyung will fix it for you. Taehyung-ah, you can kiss him. - he said and pushed the latter towards the maknae, getting a punch in response.

JK: Hyung, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you today? - he said in disbelief.

RM: Okay, I'm so done. I'm out. Good night, and... please don't fight. - he said leaving, and soon Hoseok, Yoongi and Jin followed suit, leaving only the noisy maknaes behind.

 

After Jimin's little "joke" the air felt a little thick, and you could tell how uncomfortable they felt even tho they kept trying their best to just laugh it off. Taking pity of Jungkook's embarrassment Jimin decided to share something with him, hoping his best to break the ice once for all.

JM: My first kiss was like... four years ago or something? Anyway, it was with this girl that I totally liked. He was a bit older than me, and she was just so cool! She invited me to this party at this dude's house, and then we were dancing together but she was so fucking drunk that she just kissed me right there all of a sudden! I was so startled, I just had no reaction, like, I was totally frozen. Then she just looked right into my face and said "you are a terrible kisser, Park Jimin. How disappointing, seriously." and then she fucking left and never talked to me again. I felt so fucking low after that, I could literally like top myself or something. The thing is... I wish I had good friends back then so I could talk to them about it and shit, you know, for advice and tips so I wouldn't have to go through something like that again? Maybe even a friend who would teach me about this shit, because after that I was like, terrified of girls for almost a year. Anyway, just don’t overthink it, Kookie. All in all kissing is really overrated, anyway. Okie dokie? I’m off to bed. Love you, guys. - he said tip toeing to his room.

 

And then there were two.

After Jimin’s confession Jungkook felt more at an ease, after all, everyone had a first, his just hadn't happened yet. Keeping that in mind, he glanced at the silent Taehyung standing next to him and both shared a warm smile.

 

JK: Tae… do you think Jimin hyung is right? Like, do you think it’s better if you have someone to talk you through it? Or maybe... teach you or something?

TH: I don't know what's best, but I had someone to teach me. It wasn't planned, just kind of happened. A friend of mine did it. - he said smiling at the memory.

JK: A friend as in a girl, or..? 

TH: A friend as in a friend. Like, a guy friend. - Jungkook's eyes doubled its size and Taehyung couldn't help thinking he looked really cute like that - I remember that as soon as I got home that day I regretted it instantly. I even cried, actually, but I never told it to anyone, specially not to this friend because I didn't want him to feel bad about it too. But now looking back at it… it’s just a kiss, you know? After doing it it's like... you don’t even know why people make such big fuss about it. - he reasoned seeming deep in thought.

JK: I see… - Jungkook lowered his head and started playing with the hem of his shirt and then started pilling cans into some sort of beer castle, trying to distract himself. There were not much more to talk about, anyway. If it was a big deal or not, doing it was the only way to find it out. Meanwhile Taehyung kept observing him, absorbed in his innocent figure. Even tho Jungkook was the youngest, he was totally handsome and looked very manly for his age, which was something Taehyung had only dreamed about because his looks were very soft and delicate and he just couldn't buff up no matter how much he tried. If it wasn't for his endearing baby doe eyes, people could really think Jeongguk was the older between them two. The latter seemed to feel his hyung's eyes on him, so he looked up and caught it with his own, which caused a slight shade of pink to creep over his cheeks.

TH: Kookie… - Taehyung broke the silence and looked away, anywhere but at the younger - Do you... - he licked his lips nervously and seemed to get a little caught up in his thoughts before taking a deep breathe and finishing his sentence - Do you want me to do it?

JK: huh? - he hoped the younger would understand right away so he wouldn't have to repeat himself, but he wouldn't be so lucky.

TH: Kiss you. - he phrased it - Do you... want me... to kiss you? - he said slowly but certainly, finally looking up to the other, whose mouth fell open. It took a while for him to process that sentence, but then it hit him and he felt his heart hammering at his ribs. Taehyung, his TaeTae hyung, his pretty and annoying best friend who helped him overcome his shyness and insecurities, who took him like a lost puppy and made him feel at home in their dorms, Kim fucking Taehyung just proposed to steal his first kiss.

 

He just stood still for a while, the older's eyes already growing in expectation; he felt a little light headed and then remembered to breathe. As soon as he took a few deep breathes he found his eyes cheating on him and falling right at Taehyung’s pretty pink lips, and noticing it the older leaned in and tightened the gap between them, so their faces were standing just a few centimeters away.

 

TH: So? Do you want it? - he asked again, low rusky voice resonating through his ears and a blow of warm breathe tickling his own lips. - No one will ever know about it... I won’t tell, if you don’t. - Due to the close distance, Junkook could even taste the scent of alcohol coming from his mouth, and suddenly he felt light headed again, but it wasn't the lack of oxygen this time. His eyes gave away what his lips couldn't, and seeing right through him Taehyung licked his lips slowly, making it wet and moist. Jungkook's eyes followed through, and he felt his mouth running dry; it only took one second of complete lust to overcome his senses for him to reach up and bring their lips together messily.

Taehyung couldn’t help but to smile into it, feeling just how eager the younger was. Without breaking them apart he slid his hand all the way up his arms to his neck, caressing it a little before gripping at it to make sure he wouldn't back away. Hesitantly, he then opened up just enough to nibble at Jeongguk’s trembling lower lip and stood still, waiting for a reaction. After a few seconds the latter finally dared to move, sucking lightly on the older's lips just like he did to him. Taehyung took it as a sign to proceed, so he started moving his lips over the younger's slowly so that he could follow, and it took no time for them to find a pleasant pace. They just kept it going until Jungkook started feeling more ambitious, controlling the pace and deepening it. When Taehyung finally stuck his tongue out, slowly licking on his lower lip asking for entrance, he shivered over the intimacy of the act, opening up and letting the older in instantly, all wet and warm and tasting of cherry from the fuzzy drink he was having earlier. He hummed inside Taehyung's mouth approvingly, getting him to bring his other hand to his neck as well, deepening it even more, tickling the roof of the younger's mouth with the tip of his tongue. The whole experience was so mind-blowing, he still couldn't believe it was actually happening; it felt as if the whole world had shut down and he just wanted that kiss to never end. Before any of them noticed, Taehyung's hands were roaming all over his arms, then his chest, and as soon as it reached his thigh he felt his hyung tensing beside him, breaking apart abruptly, a strain of saliva connecting their mouths like in the mangas he used to read. Jungkook kept his eyes shut tight trying to get his heart to function at a normal rate again, lips numb and strangely lonely. When he finally opened his eyes he was welcomed back to the world by a square smile and pleased big eyes.

 

TH: That was... - he started, still a little breathless.

JK: ... Yeah, I know. - he finished, and it was enough said.

TH: I guess we just found out another talent from our golden maknae. - he said cheekily, poking the younger at his ribs playfully.

 

After all that, none of them really payed much attention to the shameless boners showing up though the fabric of their thin sweatpants. If any of them noticed, they pretended not to, hoping they would be able to ignore it the same in the morning.

 


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of a drunk party usually is the perfect example of "moral hangover", and this one wasn't any different.

**Jungkook's pov**

 

The aftermath of a drunk party usually is the perfect example of "moral hangover", and this one wasn't any different. Jungkook has been lying on his bunk-bed for over forth-five minutes, just staring at the ceiling and questioning how long would it take for people to find his body if he just jumped out the window. Despite his overwhelming headache, he just seemed unable to stop the vivid flashbacks in his mind that sent an intense burning feeling in his face; he was deadly tired, sleepy as fuck, and yet he wouldn't dare going back to sleep, because whenever he closed his eyes he would get an even more realistic reminder of Taehyung's wet tongue dancing in his mouth and the tight grip of his big and delicate hands in the back of his neck.

A few voices coming from the hall signalized the night was over, and Jungkook never wished to share a room with Taehyung as bad as he did now, so he could see whether or not his fellow member was already awake and make sure to avoid bumping into him so soon in the morning after excusing himself first and rushing to the bathroom to deal with his first kiss's painful boner just a few hours ago. _Goddammit_ , now he even had to find a way to manage regular life after shamelessly jerking off to his band mate in their own dorm's bathroom.  _What if Taehyung noticed it? What if I was noisy? What if I moaned his motherfucking name? Jesus, I'm so ready. Just take me already. Let me die._ \- he thought rubbing his eyes aggressively, but when he was about to throw a proper fit, mumbling and whining by himself in the privacy of his upper bunk bed, Namjoon's voice interrupted his moment:

NJ: What the hell and who the fuck are you talking to? -he said as he stormed into the room, still in his adorable Ryan pajamas.

JK: I... I'm just... y'know, rehearsing some lyrics to a song I'm planning on covering - he lied smoothly

NJ: Huh... well, whatever. Just get up already, 'cus Pd just called me and they are coming for us in 20 minutes.

JK: Oh... I see. Wait, hyung! Is... is everyone else up already, or..? - he trailed off, never once meeting Namjoon's eyes.

NJ: Yeah. Actually Hoba woke everyone up first. Everyone's already waiting for you too.

JK: O-okay. I'll be there in a minute.

 

_Fuck_

 

**Taehyung's pov**

 

_Oh my God. What just- I must be all levels of  crazy. That's it, I'm fucking mad. In two seconds I'm gonna hear someone counting Houdini's style and then I'll just wake up tied up in a bed in a psychiatric hospital. Yes, that's it. Last night never happened._

 

Banging his head repeatedly against the wall wasn't gonna erase the guilty from his mind, but it was definitely worth to try. Taehyung never had the brightest of ideas and that was known (let alone being fucking drunk), but stealing someone's first kiss - no, stealing his drunk-younger-group-mate-someone first kiss... that was by far his worse. Especially if you happen to find it the best motherfucking kiss of your entire indecent existence. Usually "first kiss" and "good kiss" don't even fit together in the same sentence, but for some unknown alien and totally fucking unexpected reason, that one was. He tried convincing himself that it was just the alcohol. In the best scenario it was due to the fact that being used to the boring frigid kisses of the young girls he had dated in the past, being able to finally _fucking kiss_ someone, as in aggressively, not holding back at all or having to mind his not-so-polite hands for the first time ever was a totally new - and incredible - experience. Or in a far worst scenario it was, just maybe, because _holy shit, it was Jeon Jungkook:_  the handsome, sweet and talented maknae everyone just gotta acknowledge. Yes, Taehyung kinda had a crush on him lately. Damn it, _everyone_ had a crush on him lately, the kid was growing up so fine, it was undeniable from woman's and even man's perspectives. Anyway, there was no denial, no turning back: they kissed last night, it felt amazing, they were too drunk to care... but they are sober now. 

 

_"What if he regrets it? He was too drunk to think straight, I should've never proposed to do it, it was his very first kiss... and I stole it. Not a girl he likes, but his perverted older band mate... Shit."_

 

JM: TaeTae? Are you ok? What's with all the whining? - Jimin mumbled still half asleep.

TH: You up already? 

JM: Yeah... Jesus, I feel like crap. - he did indeed, but Taehyung surely felt way worse. - You?

TH: Uh... I'm fine. Totally. Really fine. - he never really had to lie to Jimin before, and therefore it was hardly convincing.

JM: That was poorly convincing, but I'll give you kudos for motivational aspects - he grinned. Thankfully he couldn't see the younger's panicked face.

TH: Overheard Namjoon hyung talking on the phone and we're late. Let's get up already.  he rushed.

JM: Fine, fine... But just... I gotta ask you something. - then again Taehyung was lucky Jimin couldn't see his face or listen to his heart pounding on his rib cages - I'm kinda regretful for last night, y'know?

TH: Tell me about it! Geez... - he said more to himself than to the other, rubbing his eyes aggressively

JM: You are also feeling bad about Kookie, right? I mean... did we go too far? We made him confess his private matter and I'm not sure how to cope now. - he said while getting up and searching the room for his missing shirt.

TH: Yeah, that's exactly what's on my mind. I was also totally regretting that. - he also got up quickly and turned around so the other wouldn't see the blush creeping through his face and ears.

JM: I truly had no idea, or else I wouldn't have teased him at all, man. I mean, Kookie don't usually talk much about his private shit, but I guess I just assumed based on his looks and personality that he could have had his fair share of messing around at school, y'know?

TH: I think he's fine, tho. Let's just... forget about it. Pretend last night never happened, yeah? - he was trying really hard to drop the subject and hopefully Jimin would get the memo.

JM: I guess. I kinda feel sorry for him now, actually. Maybe we should help? Maybe we should set him a blind date or something? As long as he doesn't have to deal with random school girls he'll probably feel more confident about it, like, maybe even someone from the industry as well. What do you think?

TH: _I think you should drop the goddamn subject already, that's what I think Park Jimin_   Yeah... maybe. Let's think about it later. Hurry up, I'm going to shower. - when he finally made his way out the room he ran towards the bathroom in desperate need for a cold shower.

 

_Taehyung you better get your shit together before you bump into him and make things even more weird. Oh God, I hope things don't get weird. Well, that'll be hard considering you had a goddamn boner and went as far as almost fucking touching his._

 

_Can I just die? Kill yourself, Taehyung. Just drown to death in the shower now, please._

 

 

 

When Jungkook finally made outside his room everyone else was already in the living room trying to clean the mess before the staff arrived. Instinctively his eyes scanned the place just to find Taehyung helping Yoongi with the empty bottles in the kitchen. Just the sight of his hyung's backs were enough to make him blush hard. Of course the world would never cooperate, so just to make things a whole lot worst, as soon as Yoongi saw him he called him over, drawing Taehyung's attention.

When their eyes finally met not only his face was burning, but his stomach totally froze and his knees felt soft. Taehyung's face also went totally pale and he immediately avoided the younger's gaze, turning around real quick to face the bottles on the sink.

 

YG: Kid, help Tae out with this while I pack my stuff, ok? - he said already dropping everything and running straight to his room.

JK: Uh... sure, hyung. I'm... I'm on my way - taking steps never felt so hard, and that dorm never felt so fucking small. - ... Tae hyung?  

TH: Oh... Morning, Jungkook. -he said finally managing to look at his face.

JK: Morning. - Although he was cringing through every step, ass soon as he exchanged looks with the older from a closer distance he couldn't keep his lips from turning into a sly smile. Luckily, Taehyung's face suddenly relaxed and he smiled back, now both smiling simultaneously as they worked silently. Every time they would accidentally touch or bump into each other, they would just oddly apologize and inevitably grin at each other. 

JK/TH: So... -they said simultaneously, and laughed openly for the first time that day.

JK: You first.

TH: Uh... - despite Jungkook's expectations he was met with silence - Ok, I don't know what to say. - he finally gave up after fighting with his words for a while

JK: Neither do I, really. - he said and smiled shyly looking down - I just... y'know.

TH: ... wanted to make sure things aren't weird? - he finished JK's sentence and the younger nodded.

JK: Yeah. I mean... we are friends... best friends. This... whatever happened yesterday... it won't ruin it, right? - Taehyung could see the anxiety in the younger's eyes as the words spilled from his lips

TH: I wont be weird if you are not weird. But you are definitely being weird right now.

JK: Sorry, its just.,. Never in a million years I thought something like this would happen, so... It's really hard to cope.

TH: There's just no way to know how to react. I know exactly what you mean. But... let's just play it cool. We're man, so we must be cool. Be cool! - he pointed a finger at JK causing the younger to relax and laugh.

JK: I will! You be cool, too. "Teacher". - he finished jokingly wishing it would help to break the ice.

TH: Sure thing, grasshopper! I was just worried that, like, you would wake up and regret it and then you would hate me forever.

JK: No! I mean... I don't. I don't regret it. I'm fine with it, really. - he then touched the older's shoulder for reinforcement.

TH: Im glad. Then I also won't regret it. - he said and took JK's hand into his, squeezing it lightly - I must confess that... even though I was seriously drunk... I remember everything clearly. - at this his cheeks became a light shade of pink - Do you?

JK: I do, too. I remember erything. Clearly. - he coughed a little as he met Taehyung's intense gaze towards him - I'm thankful, actually. I mean, you didn't had to, but you offered to, so... yeah.

TH: I'm even more thankful, because you trusted me with such big matter. And it wasn't any kind of favor. I did it because I wanted to... I really did. - their eyes met again, and unsure of how to respond to it the younger turned away and grabbed another bottle.

JK: Y'know, I also remember something else. - he said and lifted a brow towards the other smirking - you kind of said that I'm good at it, so I guess I'm just gonna hold this one against you for a while. No biggie. -he teased in order to keep things friendly.

TH: So this is what I get for helping the ones in need? Ok, ok, I'll keep that in mind. You know, the world turns. - he teased back, and they help eye contact for a few seconds until the bell rang.

 

 

 

 


	3. Game on

 

As usual they had many hours to expend in the rest room in between their schedules, and everyone was still fighting the lack of sleep and hangover, so they were all very quiet that morning. Deep down they all woke up with the bitter aftertaste of regret, considering how out of hand they conversation got, so now they kind of felt overexposed. Even though they always talk about pretty much everything, there's always a dark side or a filthy secret people don't dare to say out loud even to their own selves, let alone in a room filled with people you gotta live with. Namjoon openly confessed he would "gladly screw the trainees", which was a extremely unprofessional thing to say, especially being the leader and one of the eldest members from the company. Hoseok exposed himself by whining about not having time to date, even tho he use to lecture the youngers all the time about how they should forget about personal issues and focus in their careers. Yoongi now is openly acknowledged as the weird young man with no sexual interest in... well, pretty much everyone and everything. Jungkook is the lame little baby who never had a tongue down his throat (not anymore, but I won't tell if you don't). Jimin has "evil hyung" and "savage dongsaeng" written all over his forehead, murdering his past angelic status. And Taehyung is a filthy child molester (not at all, but his drama-queen self is refusing to let him get away with it). Nothing really changed about SeokJin, because as expected the older knew better than to mix alcohol and words.

 

The three maknaws were sitting together playing some noisy game with their phones, and despite Jimin being way too nice towards Jungkook, obviously trying to make up for last night, everything else seemed pretty ordinary. Jungkook and Taehyung were still a little stiff around each other, but you gotta give 'em a A+ for successfully managing to pretend nothing ever happened.

 

JM: Kookie, I wanted to talk to you about last night - he started as soon as Taehyung left to get his make up done - I was seriously drunk, and earlier I was just too ashamed to talk to you, so I never really apologized properly. I'm really sorry for bringing that up. I didn't mean to expose you, it was supposed to be a joke, but it turned out like that... You know I would never do that to you on purpose, right? 

JK: I know. It's okay, hyung, it was not that big of a deal. I mean, I was embarrassed at first, but because it was just the members... It doesn't really matter. We are family. - he answered reassuringly, squeezing Jimin's shoulder. 

JM: My sweet dongsaeng... why you so nice to me? - he said filled with fondness, pulling him into a bear hug - y'know, all in all I guess it made us a little closer, don't you think? It turned out I never really knew you as much I thought I did, and I also got to share something with you as well. - Jimin said it all while wearing his usual bright smile, all mochi-faced, which made Jungkook's heart ache. Jimin thinks they know everything about each other now, but this is no longer the truth because he was hiding something, and this something was so big it felt agonizingly wrong to do so. He wanted to just tell him about what happened, and let him know he no longer bare that burden (shit, it surely felt nice to finally know how a kissing feels).

 

While growing up, having their first kiss seemed to be every kid main concern, and just hearing about it over and over and over again on a daily basis, as well as having to wait around 10 whole chapters in dramas for a motherfucking peck between two grown adults (I beg your pardon, but what the actual fuck, Korea?) just increased their anxiety and anticipation even more. He knew better than to think it was something as magical as the TV made it out to be, but he surely never thought it was so... simple. Better later than never, he finally had his closure and would no longer feel like an alien among people, and truth be told: it's nothing special at all. There is no bell ringing in their ears, birds don't chip, time and space surely do not freeze, and - thankfully - no random romantic song starts playing in the background. Kissing is just... kissing. Nothing but two muscles swirling around each other and eventually fighting for dominance, with lots of spit, lip biting, teeth clashing and a fair share of embarrassing sucking noises. If you overthink it, it shouldn't even feel good in the first place. Such a weird thing to do, but then again, reasonable or not, it does feel nice enough to become dangerously addictive. It's not even about the kiss itself, Jungkook contemplated, but actually sharing such an intimate moment with another person, the raw vulnerability of it, the touching, the swallowing of instinctive moans right from the font, and final but - God forbid it - not least: the motherfucking unstoppable boners. And that's just how screwed Jungkook really is, because right now this memory will forever be linked to someone named Kim Taehyung. Honest to God, just the sight of his hyung's glossy lips on the mirror in front of him made his body temperature raise, and he would be lying if he said his pants didn't feel a little tighter than usual.

 

Forget about being screwed, Jungkook is actually fucking doomed.

 

Taehyung noticed Jungkook staring through the mirror, and being his shitty-ass-tease self he poked his tongue out and proceeded to lick his strawberry lip-gloss slowly, biting on his bottom lip in the process and keeping it stuck between his teeth. Jungkook felt shivers down his spine and immediately looked away, meeting Jimin's weirded out gaze. The older didn't fail to perceive the sudden odd atmosphere, and even though the maknae tried his best to restrain himself from blushing, he failed miserably turning as red as a ripe tomato. Jimin got up and walked towards Taehyung, who was still managing to act all innocent and oblivious.

JM: Start talking. - Jimin ordered.

TH: Are you talking to me? - he batted his lashes annoyingly, looking up at the other who stood there with his eyebrows arched.

JM: No, I'm talking to this very attractive desk! Of course I'm talking to you, idiot, stop playing dumb on me. - he snapped

TH: What are you even talking about? And why are you coming at me like this? Geez, woke up on the wrong foot today? - he retorted, never once dropping his innocent act.

JM: Yeah, let's just pretend I didn't just witnessed this weird exchange between you and Jeongguk just now. Seriously, what the fuck did I miss here? - Jimin was many things, but innocent wasn't one of them. Nothing like that would ever escape his naughty little eyes.

TH: Are you still drunk? Drugs, maybe? Should I be worried, Jiminnie? - he dissimulated reaching out for his forehead pretending to check on his temperature.

JM: Okay, okay, I get it. - he said slapping Taehyung's hand away - you keep trying to fool me, and I'll pretend to be fooled. Whatever it is you idiots are hiding, you know I'm gonna find it out, right?

TH: Well shit, Sherlock! Okay... bring it on. Now if you don't mind my make up is done and I've got something to deal with. - he said tickling Jimin's chin to annoy him further, and winked at a very shocked Jungkook before leaving the room with a smirk on his lips.

 

  
As soon as Taehyung left the room Jimin was called out for his individual shoot, allowing Jeongguk to let out a breathe he never realized he have been holding. The rest of the members were gathered around Namjoon discussing some ideas for their upcoming MV when Jungkook's phone vibrated on his lap: "2nd floor. hurry up"

 

Taehyung usually sent messages like that to him all the time, calling him over to play or to plan some trick on someone, so there was nothing new to it, which only got Jeongguk all worked up considering his heart suddenly fluttered at it. Just thinking about being alone with Taehyung didn't feel casual anymore, and even though he knew how stupid it sounded, it just couldn't be helped, so he made sure no one was watching before he left, smoothly making his way towards the stairs. The second floor of the building was nothing but a big basement where they stored all their crap, like old costumes, old stuff, MV scenarios, etc. The lights were all out, except from just a small one hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room, so Jeongguk walked in carefully, trying not to step or bump into anything.

JK: Hyung? You her... - before he could finish his sentence he was suddenly grabbed from behind and forcefully pressed against a wall.

TH: Pick a boo. - he said while holding the position and scanning every inch of Jungkook's totally startled face.

JK: What do you want, and what in the fuck did you scare me for? - he asked annoyed as he tried to escape from Taehyung's grip.

TH: Why are you so worked up? I do this things all the time, just chill. - his ability to keep a straight face was truly impressive, and right now his gaze was so damn strong it could draw holes on someone's face - specially if that someone was a very shocked Jeon Jungkook.

JK: I'm not worked up, you just startled me, that's all. - he dismissed as their eyes met, and then he decided to return his hyung's gaze with the same intensity, successfully managing to turn the tables and get Taehyung to feel uneasy, his adam's apple going up and down as he swallowed a little harder than intended. Jeongguk's lips turned into a sly smile - See? I'm not the one who is "worked up".

TH: Sure? Then why are you sweating? - he shot back taking a glimpse of a lonely sweat stain running down the younger's temple. - Just because we kissed, being this close to my face is too much for you? - he decided to play dirty, since losing was not on his plans. 

JK: I thought we decided we would never bring it up again. "Play it cool, just like nothing ever happened", right? - he tried to sound unfazed but he couldn't help his jaw tensing.

TH: I changed my mind. Why, you can't handle talking about it? Too much for the butterflies in your belly? - he kept pressing as neither of them dropped the staring contest.

JK: Hyung... aren't you just mistaking me for a girl? Do you really think it was special? Do you expect me to wear your picture as my phone screen? How about I write your name on my notepads? Oh, right, I should just change your contact ID to bae! - he spilled with as much sarcasm as he could manage. Instead of answering, Taehyung brought their faces even more close, just enough to feel the other's heavy breathing tickling his chin.

TH: But isn't those... what  _kids_  like you are supposed to do?

 

There weren't many things Jungkook hated most than being called a kid,and even more so in a situation like that. Those three little letters hit his ears like a thunder, so he grabbed Taehyung's through his collar and whispered through gripped teeth: "I'll show you what this kid is supposed to do". Before the older could even react, Jungkook rolled them over and slammed him hard against the wall just like the other did to him earlier and clashed their lips together hard, open mouthed and deep right from the start, making the taller groan at the sudden contact. Breathless, he tried to take back control by grabbing the younger's waist and hustling him to the center of the room. Taehyung kisses him back like a starved person, biting down on his lip and leaving his mouth open and welcoming for Jungkook's tongue, groaning into the kiss. When they finally break apart due to the lack of oxygen they stare at each other underneath the dim light, swollen lips and piercing eyes, heavy breathing sounds echoing through the walls.

TH: Are you crazy? - he says, voice a little wavery as he fights to keep his hips from moving against Jungkook's crotch, his hardening cock aching in his pants.

JK: Maybe, but it's not like you are complaining. - he stated boldly, Taehyung's aroused state filling him with confidence.

TH: Shut up. - he retorted angrily and reached out for another kiss, allowing his hands to travel all the way from the younger's wide backs to his ass. Jungkook moaned into his mouth as he took an even harder grasp at his best asset. He latches his lips on Taehyung's neck, lapping at the skin and then sucking softly, tasting fresh skin and cologne. Taehyung grabs a handful of dark locks with his free hand and tugs at them until the younger is pliant to is touch, hips moving forwards so they are dangerously close. It only took one accidental brush for them to lose it, hips shifting until there's a muscular leg in between Taehyung's thighs and he can't help but to drags his crotch against it -Jungkook, I... - he tried to speak but the younger shut him down by shoving his tongue deeper into his mouth - seriously, hear me out - he said as soon as Jungkook turned his attention back to his neck - I think someone is coming - he finished nibbling at the younger's ear before finally pushing him away. Once away from each other they stood silent and heard their names being shouted by Hoseok downstairs, bringing them back to reality from what seemed to be a very lucid wet dream.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

JK: Shit. - he cursed under his breathe, unable to form a proper sentence, all his lust being replaced by deep embarrassment. - I'll go first. - He said as he rushed to the stairs, leaving a very dizzy and rock-hard Taehyung behind. "What the fuck just happened?" he thought out loud before allowing his trembling knees to hit the ground, covering his flushed face with both hands.

 


	4. The four letter word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey, slow it down... What do you want from me?  
> Yeah, I'm afraid... So what do you want from me?"

 

 

Through the rest of the day Jungkook remained silent, wandering around completely absent from everything. Taehyung kept looking at him from a comfortable distance, sighing heavy-hearted, wanting so bad to just get closer and talk to him, or just play with him like he always did, but the sad look on the younger's face was enough for him to perceive it wasn't a good moment to do so. He wondered what was the reason the younger looked so damn miserable, and then the guilt flooded his mind. Was it his fault? He wondered if the younger felt played or regretful of everything. He wondered if the younger was mad at him for not taking responsibility for his actions. He wondered if the younger was scared of him... or them. He wondered if he was really being a player, after all, and taking advantage of the experience and age gap between them to mess with his mind.  One thing he knew for sure: suddenly he felt the need to try and keep Jungkook under his thumb, and he was making sure to steal every inch of attention from him (stealing people's attention all to himself was one of Taehyung's many gifts, and that was known). Whatever the reason, he knew he was being a fucking jerk and Jeongguk did nothing to deserve it.

 

_Why? Why are you doing this, Taehyung? Why would you be so damn desperate for Jungkook's attention like that?_

 

Taehyung knew how childish he was acting, and by teasing Jungkook earlier he just proved it to be truth. He tried to tell himself he was too old to be moved by a simple kiss between friends, but his body kept deceiving him. He never felt like that before, not with the friend who stole his fist kiss years ago, nor the girls he dated briefly during his school days, so why now, and, more importantly, why with Jungkook of all people? From the very second their lips collided his heart couldn't stop racing whenever he did as much as think about the latter, and when their eyes met first thing in the morning he felt as if his soul had left his body - which be blamed on the embarrassment, but if that was the case than it should have stopped by now. Somehow he kept craving for any sort of intimate contact whenever the maknae is around, and that alone is already so fucked up he couldn't even bring himself to think about the crazy and unexpected exchange they just had. 

 

_Maybe... am I growing feelings for... No! No way! Of course not, I mean... of course I love Jungkook, I fucking adore him, always have. He's my beloved dongsaeng, my best friend and little brother Jeon Jungkook. Yes, of course I fucking love him. But I also love the rest of the members the exact same so it's not a big of a deal... It's definitely the same thing... nothing has changed..._

_... right?_

 

He hoped that if he told himself that times enough it would become real, but Taehyung knew exactly how the aftermath of a meaningless make out session felt like, and it was the opposite of that shit. Being totally honest, it was the first time he experienced such feelings. He felt constantly anxious, kinda jumpy even, but light headed at the same time. Such a paradox, it was a goddamn mess. Maybe it would help to just talk it through with someone, get it out of his chest, but he couldn't even do that. He couldn't simply come to one of his friends, a.k.a his members, and just spill the beans. "Hey, hyung! So I kinda made out with Jungkook and now I think I might be in love with him. Any words of wisdom?". Yeah, such a great fucking plan.

 

YG: Tae? Is there something wrong? You've been wearing this shit-eating face since you got back in the room. - Yoongi said taking a seat beside the younger.

TH: Oh, Hyung! It's... well, it's complicated. - he answered frustrated while rubbing his both eyes and smearing all his make up.

YG: Well, try me. I might not be the wisest person alive, but I've been here and there, y'know... - he reassured.

TH: Ok, ok. Just... give me a moment. - they bot stood in comfortable silence for a few seconds until the younger took a deep breathe and started - have you ever been in love? - he said suddenly and considering Yoongi's face it was obvious that he wasn't expecting anything like that. Anyway, but he shifted a little in his heels in order to sit more comfortably and looked away trying to keep his cool.

YG: Love? Well... I'm not sure. I mean, there was this girl once that I really liked back them. We were still in high school, and we kind of dated for some time, but... I figured I just couldn't be the guy she needed. Honestly I was just very immature and never really knew what to do, so she ended up braking up with me and I couldn't even blame her. I felt like shit for quite some time. I remembering being really regretful and just wanting to turn back time and work things out again... It was a brutal experience, but... love is such a strong word to use so irresponsibly... so I'm really not sure. But I guess it was close to it. - he finally finished and sighed as if trying to release the tension that build up with that memory.

TH: I understand. But then... how can we ever know what it feels like? I mean, how can we tell if we are experiencing love or just infatuation?

YM: I guess we gotta go to the philosophy side on this and believe that when the time comes, then we'll just... know it. Like, a certainty that reason can't explain _._ That's very subjective, but I kind of believe in those strong gut feelings, y'know? Like when you have this weird feeling that something really bad is bound to happen? You don't know how you know it, but you just know it, right? I guess it's the same... just the opposite, of course. -Taehyung took his time digesting his hyung's words. It made so much sense, it was actually scary.

TH: Have you ever felt like that? This gut feeling you talking about? - he asked and Yoongi's face lightened up instantly, a cheeky smile creeping over his lips.

YG: Yeah, I have. About us. About being a Bangtan member. I remember when I first met with Namjoon and Hoseok, and then we just clicked, y'know? Things were so hard and uncertain that anyone would have given up, but... it just felt right. I knew that, no matter what, we would not give up, and we would always be there for each other to laugh or to cry, and I wanted to embrace it all. Then you guys came along and things got even harder, but also brighter and more optimistic. Before I even realized it we were a group, and it felt really good to finally belong to something... I guess that's when I've experienced true love for the first and last time. - his words came out easily and filled with sincerity and pride, making Taehyung fight back the tears that started pooling in the corner of his eyes - love isn't just about a romantic relationship. Love can be anything and everywhere, and that's why it gets so confusing, 'cus it's such a broad perspective... it's hard to tell them apart and easy to get caught in things like "whats this that I'm feeling towards this person? Is it a romantic feeling? Is it sexual? Is it just friendship?", y'know? - then again Yoongi's words hit him hard and straight like an arrow right through his skull.

TH: Hyung, I... Honestly, you are so cool. Thank you for it. Really. I wish I could just tell you what's really bothering me, but... maybe one day, I guess? Anyway, thank you so much. - he answered sincerely and Yoongi snorted.

YG: I know what's bothering you. I realized it even before you did. - his words startled Taehyung to the point he literally choked on air, coughing hard and Yoongi reached out to pat his backs. - Hey, calm down. It's not that big of a deal, kid.

TH: Hyung, I'm... I'm not really sure you know what you talking about. 

YG: Taehyung, I've seen the way you and Jungkook keep staring at each other. Although I'm not sure how or when it started, but I know there's something going on. - he said calmly and Taehyung turned away avoiding his eyes, cheeks flushed red. - You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I'm your older brother, and I'm also a member, so I can't just ignore it. Listen... whatever it is, just stop it. Whatever you guys have going on, it'll never work out, kid. A heterossexual relationship is already complicated enough in this industry, let alone a homossexual one. Not to mention it's not only between idols from the same company, but also members in the same group! It's... that's crazy, kid. Seriously. It's just crazy, I mean... so much can go wrong. - the way Taehyung's face fell wrecked his heart in a million pieces, but he couldn't just give him any comfortable lie. Harsh or not, that was their reality and it was his duty to enlighten his dongsaeng. - Please, Tae. I'm trusting you, as the older one between you two, to come to your senses and stop it while you still can.

 

Taehyung just sat there silently, so embarrassed and regretful he couldn't even bring his mouth to speak. How come Yoongi realized it so easily? Who else could have noticed it too? They were playing a dangerous game and that just confirmed it. Not to mention every word that came out from the older's mouth felt like a slap on his face. Taehyung knew it all, but it took someone else to voice it out for him to be able to digest it, and boy, it hurt. Yoongi decided it was for the best to just leave the younger alone with his thoughts, so he gave him one last smile and joined the others inside. 

 

 


	5. Double Issue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But I can't spell it out for you  
> No, it's never gonna be that simple  
> No, I can't spell it out for you"

 

Jungkook kept feeling like he was bearing all the weight of the world in his shoulders. He never meant for it to happen, he never meant to take Taehyung’s antics too seriously, he never meant to let his hormones get the best out of him, and especially he never meant for it to feel so right. He knew it all, he was sure it was all just an accident, they were both just caught up in the heat of the moment and there was nothing much more to it, but still he couldn't stop feeling like it was all his fault, like he could have avoided it, like he could have had control over himself. Jungkook had an incredible control over himself, both emotionally or physically, he knew his limits and he knew how to push it further just the right way. No matter what, he would always win. He would definitely find his one weakness one day, the one thing that could steal the control out of his hands as easily as stealing candy from a child, but, never in a million years, Jungkook expected it to be Kim Taehyung. Saying he had a soft spot for the older was an understatement; it was out in the open for whoever had eyes to see that Taehyung could easily get away with pretty much everything concerning the younger, and that was the reason they even became close enough for him to drop the honorifics. When it comes to Taehyung, Jungkook would never not lose, and it was driving him insane. He wish he could just get mad at him, just fucking yell at him instead of letting him have things his way, because being able to hate him at least for a brief moment would still be healthier than whatever they had going on.

  It doesn't take much to act normal towards someone you dislike, this is literally one of the first things we learn as soon as we start having a so called social life, but shit is: nothing really can prepare us to ignore the ones we love; there’s just no magical formula, no acting ability is enough to teach us how to do that. Not to mention the fact that he was still struggling about being sexually attached to a man, which still sounded like a bad joke to his convicted-straight ears; he  _loves_  women, he always did, and just thinking about being intimate with a man would give him the creeps. He was just so confused he couldn't even function properly. 

 

_I wish I could talk to someone…_

 

Taehyung was Jungkook's best friend, so he was the one he always talked to whenever he had an issue, but now Taehyung was the freaking issue. Hoseok was also someone he could lean on constantly, but despite his playful image he was actually a very reserved guy, so Jungkook was clueless about how this hyung would react to something like that. Namjoon on the other hand, was openly a very broad-minded person; JK knew Namjoon hyung wouldn't overreact, but leader RM _..._ well, it was needless to say. As for Jin and Yoongi, being the older ones and consequently in change of taking care of the youngers was already way too much trouble, so he couldn’t just feed them more shit to digest. Jimin was all he had left.

Jimin and Jungkook were pretty close, and despite being one of the youngest, Jimin was very mature. Even the older ones would come to him for advice sometimes. Some people are just like that, kind of naturally wise. Truth being said, he and Jimin always had some sort of special connection, to the point that it could get a little overwhelming sometimes, as if there were some sexual tension going on - or at least that was how he felt, but it was Jimin, so it was okay. Actually Jimin was the flirtatious type, so honestly he would act weird towards all the members just for the sake of making people uncomfortable about his damn good looks. Of course Jimin would come way harder on the maknae, he would never miss the chance to fuck with the younger’s hormones. Jimin even actually tried kissing him once while he was asleep, but luckily he woke up right away. Anyway, as weird as it may be, he was still Jungkook’s only option, so he sucked it all up and waited until the older finished his schedules to approach him shyly.

 

JK: Hyung, are you busy now? – he asked looking way too miserable for Jimin’s liking.

JM: Not really. What’s the matter? You don’t feel good? You look kinda sick, actually… - he worried instantly and reached for the younger’s hand.

JK: I’m fine. It’s just… can we talk for a minute?

JM: Yeah, sure. C’me here, let’s go to somewhere a little more private. – he started walking but stopped abruptly, turning on his heels and facing the younger – Wait. Do I need a drink for this? - he joked and the younger smiled bitterly

JK: Not sure about you, but I could use one... - he retorted nervously and Jimin’s face fell into an even more concerned state. They walked over to another room and sat on the floor.

JM: So... what's worrying my cute dongsaeng?

JK: Uh... Sorry, I don't really know how to start this conversation; just give me a second please. - He sighed heavily while resting his hands on his hips, looking down, unable to face de other. He could feel his whole body shivering, and Jimin's worried gaze just made everything worse. - I... something... weird... happened. Very weird. Uh... I kind of got kissed. 

JM: Wait, what?? -Jimin's eyes widened and he looked just the way he felt: completely lost - how in the... when? We've been together all day, you never left the dorm, what's... - he was in a loss for words, trying to put some pieces together but failing miserably - but... Ok, let’s save the explanations for later. That's... great! Isn't it? Oh my God, man! Come here, give me a hug! - he said happily bringing Jungkook into his strong arms – Now that we celebrated, enlighten me: when and how did it happen? And more importantly: who is the lucky girl? – he asked breaking them apart to look into his eyes – Hey, what do you look so miserable for? You are supposed to be happy!

JK: Hyung, this... It's actually way more complicated than that.

JM: Well, I'm all ears.

JK: Firstly, it happened that night we got drunk in the dorm… - he started fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

JM: But... I went to bed earlier and left you and Taehyung behind… Oh my God, you guys went out, didn't you? You filthy rascals, you totally went out to hunt without me, I can’t believe it! Where did you guys went? A club? Was she random or did you meet her beforehand??

JK: It wasn't... It wasn’t a girl, hyung. - Jimin's facial expression froze at that comment. He was clearly in deep shock.

JM: But... you... you are not...  

JK: NO! I'm not! Hyung! I'm… I’m not like that, I promise! It was just a one time thing. It just kind of... happened, like, I was drunk, so... Oh my God, don't look at me like that, hyung... - Jimin was still frozen in his feet, blankly staring at the younger, trying hard to digest that amount of information. He blinked a few times before cleaning his throat and starting:

JM: I guess... this things can happen? I mean... when guys get drunk... sometimes we just... y'know. - Jimin's face wasn't apathetic anymore, but sad. He was trying really hard to hide it, but without success. He was simply... sad, and Jungkook noticed it. - Just... where did you go? Did you knew this dude?

JK: Hyung... Taehyung and I... – he sighed deeply and his voice wavered – We actually never left the dorm. - Jimin seemed lost for a second, but then he just put 1+1 together.

JM: Oh... My... God.  - he shuddered heavily and felt really glad he  was sitting down - You and Taehyung... Taehyung and you... You both... 

JK: We kissed. - he confessed - firstly it wasn't a big of a deal, I mean, we are best friends, it shouldn't be weird, right? But then... I don't know. Things just kept getting weirder and weirder... I never even thought we would ever... Let alone twice, but… I don’t even know.

JM: Are you trying to tell me that you kissed... more than once? - JK just nodded positively and noticed Jimin's sad face turning... angry? - I can't believe it. I can't believe you. Damn, I can't believe Taehyung, that fucker!

JK: I know! But you don't have to react so damn hard, tho!If I knew you would be like that I wouldn’t have told you in the first place, goddammit! I mean, why are you even angry? It was wrong, I know, but it's not like it's a tragedy or anything, no one even knows about it! - Jimin's fists clenched in his thighs as he stared at Jungkook with such intensity he could draw a hole in his face.

JM: I'm the one who's been taking care of you all this time! Don't you understand? If you were to ever look at a man like that, it should be me, Jeongguk! - saying that Jimin violently pulled Jungkook towards him and smashed their lips together messily.

 

Jungkook had no idea how to react to that kiss. He wouldn't push Jimin away but couldn't kiss him back either. He was never caught so off guard in his life, and all he could manage to do was stand there with his eyes wide open trying to figure out if that was actually really happening or if he was daydreaming. The next thing he knew was a strong and demanding hand gripping hard in his neck as its owner tilted his head to successfully violate his mouth with his tongue, to which he had no choice but to follow through and let himself be kissed hard by his hyung in a goddamn photo studio filled with loads of staff and his members. He knew how insane it was, but all he could focus now was the plump and sweet lips moving over his own. Kissing Jimin was totally different from kissing Taehyung; while his kisses with the younger one would always escalate to something fast, sloppy and wild, the older one was kissing him deeply but in such sweet manner that he felt like he was losing it from how much his face was burning hot right now. Jimin touched differently, moved differently, tasted differently, goddamn he even sounded differently, and that was when Jungkook knew how fucking screwedhe was, because turned out kissing Jimin was just as addictive as kissing Taehyung.

Neither of them knew exactly for how long they kept that going, but as soon as Jimin finally broke them apart with a loud smack noise, Jungkook’s lips felt numb and lonely. The other was staring him directly in the eyes but his facial expression was just too hard to read, for he wasn't looking angry anymore, but never smiled either, which only made his heart pound even faster. Also, for all he knew, they could have been caught by someone who probably would be too overwhelmed to interrupt their exchange.

 

JM: I guess... Taehyung taught you nicely - he finally allowed his sore lips to portray a smile as he broke the awkward and thick silence between them.

JK: Hyung... -he struggled with his words more than he thought he would. Back then, it was probably just the alcohol, but the first seconds before his first kiss with Taehyung was so easy to handle that it was actually overwhelming. But now, being completely sober and had been caught by surprise, he was in a complete loss for words.

JM: I'm not sure how much you and Tae are closer now, but I must believe he never told you what was his first kiss like... – Jimin trailed off, not sure if it was okay to be the one to tell.

JK: He just told me it was a guy... a friend of his, and it was like... well, just like he and me

JM: I see... then I guess he never told you that I was there. – at this remark Junkook got even more confused than he already was, tilting his head to the side and trying to understand why Jimin even brought it up in the first place - I'd have stolen yours first too if I knew you would be cool with a guy doing it.

JK: Hyung... It wasn't something I had the time to think through. Honestly, it just sort of happened. I guess Tae felt sorry for me or something like that... It was meaningless, I mean... It's just a kiss, right? – he didn’t even knew why he felt the need to explain himself to the older, but he did anyway.

JM: Kookie… listen to me closely for I'm only saying it this one time: when it comes to you Jeongguk, it could never be just a kiss, okay? THIS wasn't just a kiss for me, too. I’m pretty sure that wasn't just a kiss for Taehyung, so don’t feel like that. We... we are your hyungs, Kookie. The dearest ones, right? We would never take advantage of you, and I hope you know it. -This time Jimin was the one unable to hold his head up, speaking as he diligently stared at the floor - The only reason I got mad... It's because I wanted to be the one in your memory. I wanted to be that one hyung, the one you are always going to remember for something special and unique… - he continued shyly, letting it all go since denying wouldn’t do it any good by this point.

JK: You don't have to do something like that to be a special memory for me. None of you need. Just being like that... just being Jiminie hyung to me... it's special enough. You'll always be the best one for me, and I thought I had made that obvious enough by now. You always take care of me... and look out for me... I've always felt comfortable around you... seriously, feels bad that you think you have to try any harder than you already do, because for all I care you are this person for me already. – he said while reaching out for the older’s hand, squishing it tightly while sharing a warm smile.

JM: I guess I overreacted. That’s so embarrassing now, God… I'm sorry for kissing you. I don't know what got into me, I just... I thought about you and Taehyung doing this, and being secretive, I guess I just... I felt kind of left out. I'm really sorry, Kookie. – he said caressing Jungkook's knuckles.

JK: No need to be. It's okay.

JM: So I can just do it again, then? - he joked as he pretended to lean in for another kiss, startling Jungkook until he realized he wouldn’t really do it.

JK: am I that easy for you, hyung? – he teased back and both laughed, all tension long forgotten.

TH: Hey, what are you guys doing? - Taehyung came out of nowhere, sitting beside them like any other day. Despite it wasn't just any other day, so the atmosphere suddenly changed, getting heavy again. - Huh? Why aren't you answering me?

JK: We... were just talking about... stuff. – Taehyung wasn’t having it, but he decided to let it slide this time since things between them were already weird enough.

TH: Well, do you guys want to play something? I'm kind of bored and everyone else is busy, so... - Taehyung was being honest about being bored, but that wasn’t the real reason he came for Jungkook in the first place. After the conversation with Yoongi he convinced himself that he might just try and get things to be just the way they were before.

 

Little did he know.

 

 


	6. Secrets between hyungs

 

_Yoongi’s Pov_

 

Having Taehyung confessing that he and Jungkook have been fooling around brought back bittersweet memories from the back of Yoongi’s mind. Truth is: all the rumors about trainee’s lives and how messed up it can get once the huge amount of testosterone start to take over their dorms, it’s not just a fanfic material. With that much pressure and stress going on, having to get used to the loneliness of being far away from their family and friends, starvation diets, being sleep deprived, the lack of support from most of their parents, over-exhaustive training schedules, scary auditions, and just having to deal with all of this at such young age, it gets inevitable to lean on other trainees in every possible way to release stress and maintain sanity. People often misunderstand trainees for mischievous teenagers who use their hardships as an excuse to get overly close and act extra clingy (sometimes even perverted) around each other, but the thing is: it’s really a matter of survival. Just having someone to cry onto, to cuddle at night, to talk your heart out and, goddammit, to just share some affection, it’s a necessity, not a sin - and at this point it doesn’t even matter if it’s a boy or a girl, for you might just take whatever you can get as long as it’s human and available. It’s when you’re this desperate for affection that you find out that there’s no such thing as gender when it comes to love in its pure form; even though you might have sexual preferences, when it comes to love, hearts really don’t discriminate.  

  
Yoongi had that one person. 

  
And that one person had him as well.

  
“We still do”,  he whispered to himself while watching his best friend and, thank God, group mate staring brightly at the camera in front of him, portraying that annoyingly sweet smile of his that could light up the whole world in a second. No human being could possibly keep a straight face while seeing Jung Hoseok’s smile (well, he surely couldn’t). Before he even realized it he was smiling just as brightly in return, with his arms crossed in a defensive pose as the other noticed him and was now purposely making the cute poses Yoongi pretended to hate so much. 

  
JH: I’m your Hope, J-Hope! – he screamed waving him a heart gesture, bringing laughter in the room.  
YG: I hate you, you know that, right? – he shouted back  
JH: Try and love me a little less, will you? – he retorted jokingly, finally going back to his rehearsed poses.  
YG: I’ll try… – he answered, although it was more to himself than to the other.

 

The history between Hosek and him started also as unexpected as Taekook’s. It was also right after a very stressful schedule mixed with a few comforting drinks. Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon had just left their first audition as a group, and they got such harsh feedback from the staff that Hoseok was a crying mess, ready to just give up and stop giving his mom such a hard time supporting his failed dream. Namjoon was no better, warm tears rolling down his cheeks while he tried to drown his frustration in bottles of soju, mumbling nonsenses to himself while kicking little lose stones from the pavement, walking around in a desperate need to just be alone for a moment. Being the older one, Yoongi was trying really hard to keep his composure in order to be the strong shoulder the others needed so much, and bottle after bottler he kept staring blankly at his shoes until he was finally able to lift his eyes and look at a very pitiful Hoseok standing right beside him, with his head between his knees whispering “sorry, mom” nonstop, painful tears hitting the ground.

 

YG: Hoseok-ah, look at me. – He said lifting the younger’s chin – It was just our first audition as a group. The fucking first! No one ever succeeds in one go. How many times we talked it through? – Yoongi tried his best to sound convincing, even though he was just as heartbroken and unmotivated.  
JH: But hyung…we worked so hard, we… we thought we were ready, I… I really believed… and my mom, she… how can I give her a call, hyung? – He managed to say in between hiccups before losing it again. The older struggled find the right words, but he was failing miserably. He knew how long it would take for them to be able to audition again, and he had no idea how they’d manage to come up with new good material, for their confidence had just been crashed into tiny little pieces.  
YG: Just… tell me what to do, then. Tell me how can I make things right again? Tell me what can I do to make you feel better? Just…I’ll do anything. I can’t stand to see you crying like that… Please, just… – This time Yoongi was the one who couldn’t fight back his feelings. Warm and desperate tears streamed down his face as he watched his friends being just as broken as their dreams, and there was nothing he could do because he wasn’t feeling any better. – Hobi… please… just tell me we’ll be alright. Lie to me with you need to, but just tell me we won’t give up… let’s not let go… let’s not let go of this… let’s not let go of us… – his voice trailed off as he found himself shamelessly begging his dongsaeng for comfort.  
JH: Hyung… don’t cry… I can’t stand seeing you cry… – Hoseok cupped Yoongi’s cheeks with his trembling hands – I love you guys so so much… I won’t ever let you guys go… If we’re going to succeed, then we’ll do it together… and if we’re going to fail… we’ll also just fail together. Trust me, okay? I promise you. You trust me, right? – they stared deeply into each other teary eyes, every promise ever made between them echoing in their heads, every happy moment they shared streaming like a movie in their minds. The three of them have been battling together for so long… Suddenly all their problems seemed smaller, for they were each other’s source of strength.  
YG: I do. I trust you, Hobi. I really do.

 

As they kept looking into each other eyes, Hoseok’s hands started to feel really hot in his cheeks. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or just the moment itself but the younger’s words felt so overwhelmingly emotional he felt as if his heart were going to jump out of his chest. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around the other’s tiny waist, watching as he shivered slightly at the sudden touch. His eyes travelled to his lips, scanning them cautiously before turning back to his eyes for a silent consent, which was given as Hoseok himself leaned in and closed the reminiscent space between them in a tender kiss that was meant as the sealing of their promises. As Yoongi grew self-conscious about what was happening, he tried to pull away, but then Hoseok brought his hands from his cheek to his neck to keep him in place, caressing his nape gently as he brushed a wet tongue over the sensitive trembling pink skin, sending sparks down Yoongi’s spine before he finally parted his lips and took the younger in. They both have had their fair share of experience in the field, so their kiss went on smoothly; even tho it felt embarrassing all the way through, neither of them rushed it and just took their time tasting the bitter soju and the salty tears out of each other mouths, slowly and in perfect sync. It wasn’t too long before they felt two strong hands separating them by their foreheads.

 

NJ: I always saw it coming, but please spare me the hellish vision, will you? I’ve been having a bad day already. – he complained still a little tipsy, and the other two blushed heavily exchanging an embarrassed look. Hoseok was the first one to jump on his feet getting up and turning away quickly, being followed by Yoongi who walked past the other two.

YG: Enough with this shit, crying won’t fix anything. – He whipped his face aggressively, motioning for them to go back to their dorm – Let’s go. We’ve got a lot of work to do.  


  
No one ever brought that night up. _Ever_. They also never intended for anything like that to happen again, but once you get in the rain you can’t keep hoping not to get wet. A few days later Jin joined the company, bonding with Namjoon instantaneously, like magic. After that both Yoongi and Hoseok were left with way too much alone time to spare, which would occasionally lead into one or two quick kisses in their music room, or, sometimes, even a little make out session in the dorm’s couch while trying to watch a movie late at night. In those “occasions” Yoongi would isolate himself right after, claiming his exhaustion was getting the best out of him, but truth is he just really needed to engrave in his mind that they were not engaging in any sort of relationship. It was just that Hoseok was an attractive guy, they were close enough, and sue him for it, but he thought he was a great fucking kisser as well, so, why the fuck not, right? But then again, of course, they also never brought any of it up, or at least they planned not to, but as soon as the younger started to come up they realized it was too dangerous to keep up, mutually agreeing how inconvenient it can get with the kids lurking around them, and how harmful it could get considering they were finally going to debut. From that day onward, they were literally just friends again. 

 

 

 

_Taehyung’s pov_

As soon as he walked in he noticed Jungkook and Jimin talking privately in a corner and couldn’t help the blood to rush into his cheeks as he realized what they could be talking about. As much as he felt overly exposed, he couldn’t even blame the younger for getting things out of his chest, for he himself knew how hard it felt to let it boil inside. He was feeling surprisingly lighter after sharing it with Yoongi, so he just hoped Jungkook could feel just as relieved after sharing it with Jimin.

 

There’s something about being way too close to someone that makes things even more embarrassing, and that’s probably the reason he felt so uneasy about Jimin knowing about his brand new secret. Whenever it comes to things that are way too awkward, the closer the friend, the hardest to let it out. Not only Jimin was his soulmate, but also there was something else that would make it even harder to talk about…

 

 

2012:

 

JM: Just come here and let me do it already! – He urged the younger and he pulled him down the hall by his wrist.

TH: Jimin, are you crazy? Stop it, let me go! – He tried to get away but Jimin were way stronger than he looked.

JM: Stop being such a fucking prude! I’ll make it quick, I promise. – The shorter insisted while cornering Taehyung in a dark corner in the far back of the club. – Give me one minute and you’ll be ready to confidently go and claim your princess.

It all started when Taehyung had the unfortunate idea to tell Jimin about this girl from their school he had a major crush on. It have been an even worse idea to also tell him that some kids – the girl included – were going to meet up at a club on Friday night. Well, obviously sixteen year old kids are not allowed in Korean clubs, but this one in particular was owned by the father of one of the students and they booked it exclusively for them. Anyway, Jimin was already very popular even in his school days due to his performances in dance contests, so it was easy breezy for him to get them both invitations.

As soon as they arrived Jimin took his time scanning the place looking for Taehyung’s “prey”.

TH: I still can’t believe you talked me into this. This is such a bad idea. Honestly we should just walk back and pretend we never came here in the first place. – He complained while they made their way in between the sea of bodies.

JM: Dude, trust me. When will you ever get such a great chance to get close to her?

TH: Honestly, what are you even expecting me to get out of it? She never even glanced at me, and just because we are out of school it isn’t going to be any different.

JM: Okay. Listen closely. – He stopped walking and turned towards Taehyung, grabbing his shoulder and getting him to look at his eyes – First: you are really hard to miss in this clothes you borrowed from me. Second: even without those, you are literally one of the most handsome guys in that damn school, so she must have noticed you before for sure. And lastly: my lovely grasshopper, if there’s one thing I know for sure is that outside the school gates nothing remains the same. Forget everyone you know in there, because here, in the jungle, we are all brand new motherfuckers. So all these girls? They are no longer your lovely chaste classmates, and you are about to find it out.

 

Taehyung was really skeptical at first, but shit, Jimin was right about this. Not even thirty minutes later he was surrounded by horny teenagers, twerking and grinding as if it was their last day on earth – and believe me, tomorrow many of them are going to wish it had been. Now, more than ever, he understood why Jimin chose the word jungle to describe this place.

 

JM: I told you. – He shrugged portraying a satisfied grin.

TH: Jimin, they are drunk! What if the police shows up? – Taehyung worried, eyes as big as two apples.

JM: For fucks sake, Taehyung, just live a little. You seriously need to loosen up. Actually, I have a great idea: let’s get you drunk too. Come on!

TH: There’s no way I’m getting drunk, and especially not with you!

JM: Just one shot! One shot and I’ll leave you alone! As soon as you swallow it up I promise the party will get more bearable. If it doesn’t, then we are leaving. Call?

TH: Fine… but just one!

 

As much as Taehyung hated to admit it, Jimin was also right about it too: the party did got more bearable. What he failed to predict was that his one shot would become two, and then three, so now they were also drunk and noisy, shamelessly dancing with Jimin whilst everyone screamed and whistled at them. Do you know that one punch of reality that hits you from time to time? That one that force you to run blindly to the bathroom to wash your face in desperate need to wash the alcohol away and invite your senses back in? Taehyung was experiencing that for the first time. He was following black walls, complete dizzy, but instead of fresh air he found something else: the girl. He looked at her and she looked right back at him; he could tell she also wasn’t sober, and then when she made a move towards him he freaked out and ran away, bumping into Jimin in the process.

 

JM: Where did you go all of a sudden? Dude, I looked for you everywhere, you idiot! – the older raged, really close to punch the living drunk shit out of his friend.

TH: Sorry, I just… I felt kind of sick, I needed some fresh air. Actually I still do, so please, lead the way. – He said already dragging him by his arms towards the opposite side of the club.

JM: Are you going to tell me what or who are we running away from?

TH: Her! I just met her! She was right there, dude, all over my personal space! – He shouted as soon as he decided they were far enough.

JM: So? What did you do? What did you say?

TH: I… - he trailed off playing with the hem of his shirt – I might have freaked out and ran?

JM: Why? What the fuck, Taehyung?

TH: I wasn’t prepared, okay? Besides I’m totally drunk, what did you expected me to do?

JM: I don’t know, what about act like a normal dude and just fucking talk to her? Actually, fuck talking, everyone is drunk so you should just have kissed her and prayed she wouldn’t slap you, goddammit!

TH: I would never, are you insane? How could I just kiss her like that?

JM: Taehyung, are you scared of girls? Seriously, what the fuck? Enlighten me.

TH: It’s not like that. It’s just… well… I kind of… I never really… kissed anyone before. – he confessed shyly, staring anywhere but at Jimin. – I don’t know how to do it, what if I embarrassed myself?

JM: Wait a minute. You are almost seventeen, what you mean you never kissed anyone before?

TH: I’m a shy person, okay? Just leave it, I’m humiliated enough already!

JM: My poor padawan… This is not really a problem, though. I mean, everyone has a first, so just go for it! She’s literally right there, waiting!

TH: I can’t, dude. She’s experienced, she’s totally gonna mock me for the rest of my days!

JM: Well, been there, done that. – Jimin whispered as the bitter memories of his failed first kiss invaded his mind. – If that’s the hold up, then I’ll just help you out with it. Christ, I can’t believe I’m going to offer you this… Kim Taehyung, seriously, from this day onward you must treat me as the best hyung in this whole freaking world. You owe me big fucking time.

TH: What are you even talking about, idiot? How much did you get to drink?

JM: I’m going to do it. I’m going to give you a free kissing lesson.

TH: What the… I’m not wasting my first kiss on you! Get off me, you perv! – Taehyung shouted surprised as Jimin cornered him in the wall next to them.

JM: What you mean waste it? Dude, you been watching way too much tv, seriously. Don’t overthink it and just let me help you.

TH: There are people out there, what it someone sees us?

JM: Just come here and let me do it already! – He urged the younger and he pulled him harder against the hall.

TH: Jimin, are you crazy? Stop it, let me go! – He tried to get away but Jimin were way stronger than he looked.

JM: Stop being such a fucking prude! I’ll make it quick, I promise. – The shorter insisted while cornering Taehyung in a dark corner in the far back of the club. – Give me one minute and you’ll be ready to confidently go and claim your princess.

TH: Okay, goddammit! But just… Make it quick, okay? And for heaven’s sake, don’t go weird on me.

JM: Chill, bro. Trust me. And if you want this to work you seriously need to stop looking at me like I’m some sort of child molester.

TH: You can’t blame me for not being able to control my damn face when my best fucking friend is about to steal my first fucking kiss!

JM: Fine! Then just… Just close your eyes. – he said and took a deep breathe – No, don’t peak! If you peak is going to be weird! – he breathed in and out again, and then looked around to make sure no one was watching – Don’t overreact, I’m going to start now, okay? Firstly it’s just a peck, so… yeah. Here I go.

Jimin double checked if they were still alone before looking at the skinny boy trapped in between his arms, brows narrowed and fists gripped tight in his worn out jeans. Taehyung’s sweaty bangs were falling messily over his forehead, his cheeks were flushed red and his lips were trembling. “Cute”, Jimin though, unable to hold back a smile and then leaned in, pecking his lips softly. The younger one opened his eyes a few seconds later pulling a funny face.

JM: So? You good?

TH: Uh… Yes. I guess. I mean, is this it? That was easy. – he blinked repeatedly.

JM: Well, that wasn’t really a kiss, it was just a peck. So, shall we go further? – He asked cautiously, eyeing the younger who just nodded positively. – Okay, so from a peck… we go for a open mouthed kiss. Just a simple one, not… Not all the way through. – the younger nodded again but Jimin could tell he didn’t quite understand what he meant with “all the way through”. He knew Taehyung was still very innocent, because he always preferred to hang out with younger kids other than people his age, but he was shocked to find out about the extent of it. – So, are you ready?

TH: I think. I mean, do I need preparation for this? – he asked innocently, moisturizing his lips with his tongue cutely.

 

Jimin grinned at the younger’s antics before leaning in again. Their lips met, and instead of pulling away he parted his lips just enough to suck on Taehyung's lower lip, getting a low grunt from the younger. He did it again, tugging at his upper lip this time and finally getting a timid response from him, who just gathered the courage to bring his hands up to cup Jimin's cheeks. The older's hands were now resting in Taehyung's hip bones, as they kept the kiss going on for about a minute or so. When they broke apart Taehyung still kept his eyes closed for a while, touching his lips with his fingers as if he was trying to reassure it was still there.

 

JM: What are you doing?

TH: Not sure. It just feels funny. I mean, this, kissing, feels... weird.

JM: Should I feel offended?

TH: No! It's not like that. I don't mean it in a bad way, I just mean, like, it’s different from what I imagined. 

JM: Well, it usually is. But how do you like it?

TH: It's fun. I like it. I guess I can do it for a long time now. – He answered smiling cheekily, eyes bright with excitement.

JM: Okay, I enjoy the confidence, but we're not finished here.

TH: Uh... We kind of are.

JM: No. We are missing one. This one was a simple kiss. Now we have... to go all the way, or you’ll get startled if someone does it to you.

TH: What do you mean by that? Why would I get startled by a kiss?

JM: A real kiss... It has tongue in it. It's very intimate. – He explained, suddenly getting shy.

TH: Ohh... – Taehyung swallowed hard, his eyes falling to the ground again - I might have heard of it, but I thought... I thought only foreigners did it.

JM: You really are clueless about life, aren't you? I’m starting to feel like Yoda. – Jimin loosened up a little after getting reminded of how pure Taehyung really was.

TH: You said it's a friend's favor, why are you making fun of me? – he pouted punching Jimin slightly in the shoulder.

JM: Don’t misunderstand, I'm not making fun of you. I'm just surprised. It’s cute, actually. – He said as he smile grew bigger, eyes turning into half-moons. 

TH: Anyway, I don't know if I want to do it. This... tongue thing... sounds gross.

JM: You're saying it because you never did it. It's not gross if the person you do it with it's an attractive one.

TH: Then how can you do it to me? Are you saying I'm attractive? – He teased swirling his eyebrows and poking the older in his ribs.

JM: Don’t be weird! You're... not bad. I would say 7 out of 10 would totally bang it. It would be 10 out of 10 if you weren’t such an alien. – he teased back getting another punch from the younger and laughing out loud at his offended face – Chill, I’m just kidding. Anyway, the answer for your question is yes, so I don't think it's gross with you.

TH: You better, punk! And by the way, I not grossed out by you. You're handsome and you always smell good. – He smiled again and Jimin couldn’t help but smile back.

 

When their smiles died Jimin took his time scanning Taehyung's face, letting his eyes explore it without commanding his friend to close his eyes this time; he was just going to let thing happen naturally. Surprisingly, Taehyung made the first move, tangling his arms around the shorter’s neck and tilting his head just a little, lips slightly parted, eyes hovering over his hyung's plump lips, breathing warmly in his cheeks. He was trying to look confident, but Jimin could feel the younger's heart racing in his chest as he pressed him harder against the wall behind them and licked his lips teasingly before leaning over and smashing their moist lips together. Taehyung let out a grunt when Jimin's tongue invaded his mouth and rubbed against his, because that was definitely not what he expected. It was not as smooth as he pictured it out to be, and surely not as slick, but it still felt nice enough. For some reason he also expected it to taste like something, considering all the cheesy books he have read in which the poor girls missed their love's kiss taste... but it didn't. He could definitely smell the booze, and if he concentrated enough there was a lingering taste of vodka and strawberry, but this was just the taste of whatever Jimin have been drinking that night, so it did not count. Anyway, it still felt nice enough to grant him a thousand annoying butterflies in the pitch of his stomach. Needless to say they totally lost track of time; they only broke apart when a loud noise startled them, but turned out it was just a glass falling somewhere in the club. They stood there awkwardly before realizing they were still all over each other, and then let go real quickly, turning their backs on each other. 

 

JM: Uh... yeah. That's... that's it. My job it's done. – He said quickly, still a little breathless.

TH: Yeah, cool… - He answered just as breathless - Thank you, though. For real. I can finally feel like a normal teenager now.

JM: No problem. So... your girl is waiting.

TH: Actually... I think I'm just gonna call it for tonight. That would be way too much experiencing for one night. – he finally smiled, turning Jimin over to face him and making a V sign with his finger over his eye to break the ice. It worked.

JM: Good idea. So... let's go?

TH: T's go.

 

 


	7. The things you make me do

 

After a few days Taehyung managed to get things back to normal with Jeongguk. He had done it already back then with Jimin at such young age, it definitely couldn't be a problem now. At least he thought so, but shit is: his heart never fluttered for Jimin the way it does for the maknae.

Jimin is really attractive, to the point that even straight man have a hard time keeping it cool and being completely indifferent around him (and Taehyung wasn't an exception to this rule, especially knowing how soft that plump lips feels against his), but because it all happened so long ago, and they grew even closer living under the same roof for over a year now, that weird night became nothing more than just a shadowy memory hidden deep inside the back of their heads. Truthfully, they only brought that up twice: once for their hyungs, laughing it off while Jimin made fun of how Taehyung freaked out near the girl he liked and Taehyung teasing back saying Jimin licked his mouth "like a dog licks its balls". The second and last time was while recording their Boy in Luv MV when Jin had to press the actress against the locker, to which Taehung addressed to Jimin pressing him against the club's wall to "steel my innocence like a savage".

But Jeongguk was different. From day one he just felt different from everybody else: the long gone scared and shy little boy who used to wander around their dorm during night time just to avoid the others, who started losing up slowly until he became the noisy mischievous brat everyone learned to love to tenderly. Taehyung was actually the first person he ever got close to, because even though he is older they behaved just the same, both always running around, blasting music in the middle of the night, acting cute to get extra food from the staff and the other members, playing pranks on their hyungs and so on. They are so alike, their tacit understanding is flawless, and just being around each other, or playing computer games all night long, bathing and sleeping together just because, sharing snacks and drinking from the same bottle even when there are two available, or simply just sharing warm smiles across the waiting room… it all felt additively warm and cozy, just real fucking special, and that's why it’s so hard letting whatever happened go.

_I wonder if he feels the same..._

 

 

 

JK: I'm starving. – He blurted out during one of their regular late-night Overwatch matches.

TH: But it's 2AM and there's nothing in the kitchen.

JK: I know. That's why I think we should just go out and grab something. The convenience must be open.

TH: You know we are not allowed out by ourselves. Especially at 2 fucking AM. – Taehyung answered rolling his eyes.

JK: Who is ever gonna find out, anyway? Everybody else is sleeping, and it's just a few blocks away. – The younger pleaded and the older studied his face narrowing his eyes, scratching his nape. Taehyung knew it was wrong, but he was also starving and Jeongguk kind of had a point.

TH: Okay. But we'll just get some ramyun and come back real quickly. Deal? – He said holding his finger up like a mother warning a child.

JK: Trust me.

 

They grabbed their coats and made their way to the door in feline steps, holding giggles in their throats. When they finally stepped outside, the younger let out a pleased sigh, rubbing his hands together for heat and smiling like a kid in his way to the grocery store (which he was, actually) and Taehyung couldn't help but to smile at it. The streets were completely empty and silent, which gave them a peaceful and nostalgic feeling back from the days they could just casually walk around in their sweatpants, bare faces and messy hair, without worrying about being followed by a bunch of crazy people with cameras on their faces. They took their time, walking slowly, breathing the cold air of Seul, scanning their surroundings for anything new they might have lost track of – like the vending machine down the corner they had no idea existed. They looked at each other and smiled warmly, glad about their decision. When they finally spotted the convenience store, they looked around double checking for creepers and sasaeng fans before getting in and buying their precious noodles and some sausages.

JK: Look Tae, they have stoves to cook the noodles! We can eat it outside! - He said while pointing at the little stoves in the back

TH: Kookie, we agreed we'd only buy and go back home! What if one of the hyungs wake up to take a piss or something?

JK: Even if they do so, I hardly believe they would check on beds to see who is or isn't there. I mean, why bother? No one ever slipped before.

TH: Too risky. Namjoon hyung would throw a fit at us.

JK: Honestly, when did you become so boring? I should have invited Yoongi hyung instead, seriously. – the younger nagged bitterly, crossing his arms like a child.

 

Taehyung was known for being a good kid and listening well to his hyungs and sunbaes, different from Jungkook and Yoongi who always had more of an attitude. But surprisingly enough, those words hurted Taehyung's pride a little, enough to make him question his angelic side. It was indeed a very tempting idea, sitting outside on the cold weather, talking videogames and music while slurping some hot noodles like two regular teenagers. Such ordinary situation, yet so desirable. Jeongguk deserved it. He deserved it. They have been obedient for so long, just doing as they are told without a single complaint.

 

_Maybe just this time.._

 

TH: Fine, goddammit! God, the things you make me do... - he threw his hands up in the air giving up as the latter grinned with satisfaction while pouring water into his cup.

JK: Honestly Tae, just stick to me longer and I'll teach you how to live.

 

They grabbed their cooked noodles and sausages and headed up to a park outside, sitting on a bench, legs spread on each side of it, facing each other and using the room in between as an improvised table. They ate happily, chatting, playing, taking pictures of their surroundings and ugly selfies. They always had so much fun together, just the two of them were always enough, and Taehyung knew that was something he wanted to do his whole life: be around Jeongguk, make him smile, laugh with him.

 

TH: Feels good... I'm glad we're here. - he said watching the beautiful starry sky.

JK: I'm a wise man who make wise decisions. - the younger teased, getting a poke in his ribs in return.

TH: Ya, don't make me regret it! 

JK: It's easier to just acknowledge it. Just give it a try. Say: Jeongguk Jeon, you're the coolest ever and I would be doomed without you. - he kept teasing further

TH: You're lucky I'm in a good mood today, or I'd kick this smile out of your cocky face. And because maybe, but just maybe, I'd indeed be doomed without you. - he confessed in a shy tone, fidgeting with his empty cup.

JK: Ohhh... cute - the younger cooed and tried to pinch the older's cheeks, but he was faster and slapped his hands away.

TH: Stop it, or I'm never treating you again!

JK: Okay, okay. Now you just pulled the big guns so I have no choice but to stop. Anyway... I'm glad too. I'm always happy when I'm with you. I'm glad we got to make memories like this together... I'll always cherish them.

TH: Kookie, you can't just say things like that... You have any idea how it makes me feel? My heart feels so warm I might just collapse, seriously. - he grabbed his heart and looked away; he tried to overcome the situation with humor, but truth be told he really felt like his heart were about to burst - Aish... 

JK: Tae... there's something I've never told you. We always tell each other everything, right? Because there are no secrets between us, it feels really wrong to keep this. And being here with you, saying things like this... I really regret it.

TH: A secret? What do you mean? Do we even have time for secrets? - he joked trying to get the smile back to Jeongguk's face.

JK: It's not a big deal. I mean, I think it isn't... - he started and Taehyung grabbed his shoulder affectionately, signalizing for him to keep talking - a few days ago, I kind of... needed to talk to someone about... well, the things that happened, y'know? - he tried his best to address the facts naturally, but the words just wouldn't roll off his tongue - Anyway, I went to talk to Jimin hyung, and I told him about... everything. - he finally managed to say and looked up to check out Taehyung's expression, whose only remained silent and collected. 

TH: I know. I mean, I saw you guys chatting and put two plus two together... Anyway, I'm not mad. Seriously. You needed someone to talk, and I get it. I might have done the same thing with Yoongi hyung. - he confessed as well.

JK: Wait, so that's why he's been treating me so differently lately? I wonder how he would react if he knew I kissed Jimin too. - before he realized it these words made their way past his lips. He snapped his eyes wide open and brought his hand to his lips as if it could rewind that. He stared right back at Taehyung, whose gaze intensified a little, but all in all he still remained unfazed. - For whatever it's worth, it was he who kissed me first.  the younger panicked.

TH: I know, Kookie. He told me.  Do you really think that asshole would be able to keep it to himself without bragging? Anyway, Jimin and I kissed too. Long ago, obviously. I guess this things really just happen with anyone. It's not like we do shit like this on purpose, I mean... It just... before we even realize it... yeah, you get it. - he trailed off nervously. He really never meant for any of it to happen, but it's not like he regretted it either.

JK: Exactly! I mean, we never really touched this subject after, we kind of just pretend it never happened. Like... you and I. - he tilted his head to the side, eyes falling to his lap. - Pretending it never happened... I think it's easier like that.

TH: It is.

JK: It's not like I can forget about it, but just not bringing it up is good enough. Honestly, I don't think I can bring myself to talk about any of this naturally. It's just... weird.

TH: You... think about it often? Like, do you remember it on purpose? Sometimes, I mean...

JK: Yeah... sometimes. It's just... When I see your face, and sometimes you are just so damn close... like now... it kind of brings it all back and I don't really know how to cope with it. It's uncomfortable, really.

TH: Yeah, I know. - he agreed but couldn't help to sound disappointed. He wasn't sure what kind of answer he expected but this wasn't it - I can't help but to think about it sometimes, too. I mean... it was a good kiss... I think its natural to want to remember it.

JK: Yeah, it was. Really good kiss. - he agreed nodding with his cheeks flushed pink. His heart was fluttering way too much for it to be healthy, and he knew he had to try and change the subject but something inside him just wanted to get more and more out of it. 

TH: It's funny, though. I thought it would be weirder if we ever talked about it, but I'm actually feeling really chill about it. 

JK: Me too - he lied - I never thought about bringing that up, but tonight just felt right. I'm glad it didn't make you uncomfortable or anything. I didn't want to ruin your night. - he said honestly, eyes never meeting the older's. - I don't think this should make us weird. We are close enough... - he trailed off shyly, not being able to finish his sentence, but Taehyung knew exactly what he meant.

TH: Close enough to kiss. Right? - he urged Jeongguk to look him in the eye by pulling his face up by his chin.

JK: Yes. - when their eyes finally met he felt his face getting even warmer and his mouth ran dry. Taehyung's face was too damn close and he was feeling suddenly way too comfortable about the small distance between them. - I think it's time to go. It's getting very cold.

TH: Yes, it is. - he agreed, clearly disappointed by the sudden turn of events. He then took the initiative to get up to his feet and started walking slowly towards their dorm's direction, being followed by the other a few seconds later. They remained silent all the way back.

 

 


	8. A crazy boy named Kim Taehyung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the Kudos! I'm looking forward to listen to what you guys think is going to happen with those kids!

 

"2:02am: JK come play. Tae's room. Now."

 

His phone vibrated while he was very busy trying to make the 3th ramyun cup fit in his stomach. They had just finished another successful concert and were now resting in their hotel rooms somewhere in Japan. Just imagining that not only they were staying in luxury hotels now, but also allowed a room each - no more sharing with fights over towels, air conditioner, sleeping schedule, noise, or just anything, really. Even though, somehow, in the end they still find their way to each other rooms at some point of the night, being it for playing games or just  to lay around in bed doing absolutely nothing in each other’s company while still too energetic to go to sleep. That night it was no exception to the rule: Hoseok ended up at Yoongi's, or so everyone assumed because having Yoongi laughing that loud could only be his doing; Namjoon was alone, but singing out loud to some english R&B songs; Jin was the only silent one, but he was also certainly not sleeping - probably just eating; Jimin and Taehyung were playing around in the younger’s room as loudly as usual, acting out their random skits, and the maknae was just about to join them in whatever craziness they were up to.

 

TH: Show us something that makes you worth entering this fortress – Taehyung said through his closed door as soon as Jungkook knocked.

JK: Piss off, you guys literally just invited me in. – Jungkook answered rolling his eyes and staring right at the door’s glass eye while presuming – correctly – that his hyungs were watching him through it.

JM: So do it to show your gratitude towards the invitation, then. – Jimin teased with a snort.

JK: You two dumb and dumber should be the ones feeling grateful that I didn't ignore you in the first place, so please, just open it already. – The younger shot back, clearly not in the mood for the elder’s little games. 

TH: Woah… Jiminie, we got a savage one here. – Taehyung kept saying through the door, making sure to make his Daegu’s accent purposely strong.

JM: This kid got some nerves, huh? – Jimin continued showing up his Busan’s accent as well.

JK: I swear to God, if you don't let me in five seconds I'm leaving. – The maknae stated, still unfazed.

JM: You are not.

JK: One...

TH: He's not.

JK: ...Two...

JM: Daring, daring kid...

JK: ...Three....

TH: You look really sexy when you're angry.

JK: ...Four...

JM: Such a sexy kid.

JK: ...Five. Okay, bye. – He said turning away and walking towards the corridor.

JM: Okay, okay, okay, come back! – Jimin gave up and unlocked the door, running towards the younger and pulling him inside the room.

TH: Jeon, you are no fun. – Taehyung said while throwing himself in his spacious bed.

JM: No fun at all. – Jimin said and threw himself right beside the other in bed.

JK: And you still love me this much, how dangerous would it be if I was a funny guy, huh? – Jungkook retorted while taking off his shoes and heading towards the bed as well. 

TH: And cocky.

JM: God, so cocky.

JK: Shut up. What you guys up to? – He sat at the very end of it and scanned the room, only to find pillows and empty ramyun cups everywhere.

TH: We're bored. Entertain us. – Taehyung shrugged.

JK: And I should because..? 

JM: Because you are the maknae. Entertaining your bored hyungs is your daily duty. – He stated matter of factly lifting his index finger in the air.

TH: I second that.

JK: Whatever you guys are smoking, I think it’s time to take it easier. – The younger retorted sarcastically and jumped in the bed as well, purposely landing painfully over the two - I think we should break into Yoongi’s. They sound fun.

TH: They sound WAY too fun, if you know what I mean. What could be seen might never be unseen. – Taehyung reasoned in a spooky tone.

JM: Dude, what the fuck are you even assuming? – Jimin asked narrowing his eyes.

JK: He's always so dirty, seriously. – The younger complained.

TH: Are you telling me you never really suspected anything between those two? For real? – Taehyung insisted.

JM: Dude, I'm so not going there, you roam in this dark place by yourself. – He dismissed.  

JK: The last thing I needed was this image haunting me in my sleep, thank you for it.

TH: Yeah, like we are the ones to judge… It’s not like we are saints, so don’t you think you are getting a little hypocritical on me now? - And there it is: the elephant in the room.

JM: I don’t think this subject concerns me, so... – Jimin grabbed his phone from where he had left it in the nightstand in order to ignore Taehyung’s remark.

TH: Excuse-me?? – He said skeptically and sat down to stare at the other two - Back me up here, Jeongguk!

JK: I'm so not getting into this. – The younger dismissed as well, already as flustered as humanly possible.

TH: That's un-fucking-believable. Now, of all things, you guys are playing prude! On me!

JM: I'm not playing prude. I just don’t want to talk about this weird stuff, so let it go, will you?

JK: I don't even know why you brought this up in the first place. I mean, everything was fine, but now everything feels weird and I honestly just want to go back to my room and pretend I never even came here in the first place. – The younger vented and threw a pillow at Taehyung, crossing his arms defensively.

TH: What about bringing it up? It's not like it didn’t happen, so why pretend it didn’t? Besides, there is just the three of us in here, so what’s even the fucking problem? – He reasoned and proceeded to bat his lashes innocently.

JK: It's just embarrassing, Taehyung.

TH: What's embarrassing? That we had our tongues down each other throats? Honestly, it shouldn’t even be a fucking tabu, we are on our twenties for fucks sake. Well, almost for you, Jungkook. – He stated just as naturally, still batting his lashes like he just made some commentary on the weather or something.  

JM: Jesus Christ Taehyung! - Jimin finally had enough and jumped over the younger to cover his mouth with his hands – Shush, you are killing me! 

JK: Honestly, why are you like this? Hyung, let's kill him, no one will find it out until it's too late.  – Jungkook joked, teaming up with Jimin to attack Taehyung's torso, tickling him until the three of them fell off the bed in a loud thud, ending up a laughing mess of limbs on the floor. 

JM: Since you already brought the shit up, I might add that I have never really stopped to think about any of it before. Honestly. I mean the three of us, exactly the three of us. What are even the odds?

TH: Right?

JK: It's kind of funny, though. Like, we never ever meant or expect nothing like this to ever happen, and yet somehow things ended up like that out of fucking nowhere.

JM: It's all because Taehyung is a slut. – Jimin joked.

TH: As if! If any of us is the slut, it's you. You started it with me! You raped my innocent mouth! I was innocent! – He accused while the older tried hard to hold a laugh while acting offended.

JM: I made you a favor, you ungrateful dork! Who, beside me, would willingly propose to steal Taelien’s first sloppy ass kiss? I'm the best hyung to ever exist, right Gguk? 

JK: Don't you drag me into this, gladly I wasn't even there. – Jungkook said throwing hands.

TH: Now I'm offended. You better redeem yourself. - Taehyung said playing truthfully hurt - Jeongguk, you see how evil is this guy? That's what he does after he molests you. He also molested you, right? Come here, let me protect you from this devil. - He pulled the younger towards his lap, holding him tight by the waist.

JM: What are you even saying, I molested no one! But you, terrible person, molested the maknae taking advantage of his innocence in a drunk state! People go to jail for things like this, you know?

TH: I was just as drunk when you kissed me, remember? And Jungkook is older than I was back then, by the way. 

JM: Nevermind. We are the same, bro. Deal with it. 

TH: Maybe Jeongguk is the slut, though. Using his innocence and his cute face to low-key seduce us both. - He reasoned jokingly while glancing at the maknae sitting in between his legs, face as red as a ripe tomato. 

JK: Excuse me? Seducing you? You both came at me, I never even made a move! It's not my fault if I'm that attractive. Hate the game, not the player, bro. - Jungkook retorted smoothly.

TH: You kissed me first that other day, though. The second time, I mean. - Before Taehyung even realized what he just said, Jimin's eyes were already as big as two oranges.

JK: But you were teasing! I did it only to prove a point! - He defended himself.

JM: Ok, wait. First: you kissed more than once? And second: How do you even kiss someone just to prove a point?

TH: Why did you kiss me, then?

JM: Because you are cute, I was drunk, and felt sorry for your ass. Legit. - He answered honestly raising two fingers in a scout sign.

JK: What about me, then? Why did you kiss me?

JM: Well, because like I said I was jealous of you two for sharing something like this and not telling me about it!

TH: Ok, I'll take that.

JK: Fine. But then... What about you, Tae?

TH: What about me?

JK: Why you proposed to kiss me that night?

TH: Oh, that. Well, just because it was your first kiss and I wanted to be the person to give it to you. - He shrugged nonchalantly - Now you will remember me forever even if we separate ways someday. 

JM: Wow. Okay, that was actually deeper than I thought.

 

Instead of answering Jungkook just remained silent, his face turning deep red for the 10th time that night. But this time he could also feel a familiar ache in his chest, as well as some sort of electrical wave running all over him, making him all warm as goosebumps started to raise down his backs. 

 

TH: And also because right now I have someone to tell me how much of a great kisser I am. - Taehyung dismissed as soon as he realized how thick the air around them had become, successfully breaking the ice before it got too much to handle.

JM: I knew it. He can never be just cute... - Jimin sighed - And by the way, you're a terrible kisser fyi. - No, he wasn't, but Jimin wouldn't just acknowledge that.

TH: I wouldn't be surprised considering I had you as a teacher... - Genius Taehyung strikes again.

JM: I don't need to listen to your bullshit. Luckily we have an intellectual among us who can testify we are not alike at all. And I'm much better, obviously. - Jimin said while pulling Jungkook from Taehyung's hold and nested him friendly in his strong thighs.

TH: Kookie, who's best? This idiot, or me. - Taehyung asked the One Million question while trying to look extremely casual about it, but failing miserably since everyone could tell by the way he bit his lower lip that it was not the case.

JK: Why you guys keep framing me like that? Honestly, do you hate me that bad? Aish... - Jungkook whined while standing beside his two favorite hyungs - Besides, it's not like I can even compare or something. You guys are... too different. - He tried to dismiss the subject, but just brought even more curiosity to the other two.

JM: Elaborate, please. - Jimin pressed, clearly interested, raising an eyebrow, while Taehyung also looked extremely contemplative of the matter.

JK: Just... Oh my God, why are you torturing me? - He begged while hiding his burning face with his hands. Both Taehyung and Jimin squeezed his knees encouragingly, so he  sighed and continued - Okay. Well, Jiminie hyung is sweeter. Like, he is soft, you know? Kissing him feels oddly romantic. I don't really know how to put it into words, anyway. - He started - And Taetae... - He then glanced at the handsome boy standing right in front of him, who kept glancing back with an unreadable facade. Taehyung was well aware o the effect he had on the younger, and he definitely was using it on his favor - I guess Taetae is wilder... Kind of more... Passionate? I'm not sure it is the right word to use, though. All I know is that kissing him... Feels hot. Totally boner popping. - The younger finished managing to hold eye contact with an extremely pleased Taehyung.

JM: Good answer. I'm a romantic guy! - Jimin smiled pleased, his eyes turning into two adorable half moons - And as expected Taehyung is a pervert. Our kiss was very innocent back then, though. You changed, Kim Taehyung... - The older teased.

TH: First: I'm not a pervert. Second: I'm no longer that innocent kid, what else did you expect? And third: I don't have a "kissing style" or whatsoever, I just do it spontaneously depending on how I feel in the moment. - The brunette elaborated before clicking his tongue and touching his own chin thoughtfully - I guess kissing Jeongguk... turned me on? - Taehyung's honesty not only turned Jungkook into a blushing mess wishing to just become cosmical dust, but also Jimin coughed at his remark and readjusted his siting position in order to hide his shock.

JM: I'm not sure when this conversation became so fucking weird, but before it gets any worst I'll take my leave. - Jimin said removing the younger from his lap and proceeding to get on his feet.

JK: Why are you abandoning me with the pervert, though? - Jungkook tried to be funny in order to overcome his extreme embarrassment. 

TH: Just when things are starting to get funnier you leave? Never took you for a party pooper, Park Jimin... 

JM: Honestly I'm not prepared to witness how worse you can get, and I'm already cringing so hard that I'm afraid my soul is gonna abandon my body.

JK: Should I call Namjoon hyung and ask him to collect his little monster? - He said directing his attention to Jimin.

TH: Not yet. - Taehyung said and winked, and then started approaching Jeongguk suspiciously. 

JK: Hyung, what are you do... - The younger tried to react, but before he could even finish his sentence he was silenced by a pair of familiar lips. As soon as his brain processed what had just happened, the older pulled apart whispering a "my dear dongsaeng".

JM: What the f.. - Surprisingly enough Jimin was also silenced by a pair of familiar lips. But, unlike he did with the maknae, this time Taehyung really went for it, kissing Jimin open mouthed and hungrily, pushing him against the carpet and straddling him with his thighs. Jimin was so shocked he couldn't even react to it, and Jeongguk was just as stunned, trying to process whatever the hell was going on right in front of his damn salad.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Care to know what Taehyung is up to? Bookmark and keep an eye open for the next chapter!  
> XX


	9. You know it all, you are my best friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Night night! Right in time to catch up with BTSOutcast on twt!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I'm looking for your reviews!
> 
> XX

 

JM: Taehyung, what the fuck?? - Jimin shouted completely astonished and breathless, face a spit-mess from the sloppy forced kiss he just managed to stop.

TH: I just thought you needed to be punished for saying I'm a terrible kisser, which, by the way, I clearly am not, considering your bulge poking my ass right now. - Taehyung said triumphant, exposing the older whose jaw just dropped before he grabbed Taehyung by his waist and threw him away before covering his alleged boner with a pillow.

JM: I'm not hard! Aside from crazy, you are also totally delusional! - He yelled desperately, a lot louder than planned, awakening Jungkook from his momentary trance.

TH: Whatever gets you to sleep at night, Jiminie... - He said with a shrug - But our young friend here certainly is - Taehyung turned his attention to the maknae whose sweatpants have never been so tight.

JK: Shut up! You just pulled this shit out of fucking nowhere and I'm the one to judge here? - Jungkook answered aggressively once he realized there was no point in denying it - What the fuck is wrong with you today, seriously? What the hell was that for?

TH: Hey, it was just an innocent and friendly kiss, stop overreacting already! - Both Jimin and Jungkook just stood there stunned, still not sure if Taehyung was just acting or if he really was that casual about being that crazy, since his face was totally solemn like he had just fed Jimin some snacks instead of his tongue.

JK: Friendly kiss? You nearly swallowed his entire face! - He kept shouting angrily

JM: Listen, Kookie, I really appreciate the empathy but if anyone needs to be mad at this idiot right now, it's me. Leave it, okay? Chillax, I'm good - Jimin intervened once he realized how mad Jungkook really was. 

TH: Yeah, Kookie, why are you even that mad? As far as I'm concerned I did nothing to offend you - The taller sneered, his lips turning into an annoying grin - Could it be... Are you jealous, Jungkook?

JK: Don't be stupid.

 

Jungkook was definitely not going to have it. Taehyung was clearly trying to provoke him, and he wasn't planning on letting him. He was not that kid anymore, or at least that's what he kept telling himself over and over when having Taehyung around and trying hard not to fall for his bullshit like he did almost a year ago when that second and last kiss happened. It has been a year already, but it still felt like yesterday. That bittersweet memory kept lingering in the air every moment they spent together, sometimes so vivid Jungkook could still feel the warmth of the older in his lips, the taste of his tongue roaming dangerously in his mouth, feel the vibration of suffocated moans at the back of his throat, as well as the strong grip of his big and soft hands in his nape. The fact that he had to fight those memories on a daily basis tortured him more than he was willing to admit, but the truth is that, even on stage, while being surrounded by all his fans and brothers, when he was supposed to be completely caught up that precious moment and nothing else, he would still somehow end up getting lost in Taehyung.

The worst part of it all was that Taehyung wasn't even Jungkook's only issue: Jimin was constantly fighting his way in his mind and heart as well. Although his thoughts towards the shorter wasn't as sinful or often as with the brunette, it was still there, and it was a pain in the ass because Jimin was a goddamn needy and clingy puppy, not to mention a fucking tease who would never lost an opportunity to arouse the fuck out of the younger. Hoseok was the same as Jimin, not only with him but with all of the members; but, unlike Jimin, he had no idea how nice and soft Hoseok's lips would feel against his, nor how much effort he would put into stealing the fucking air out of your lungs while kissing.

Being constantly horny was not something he couldn't deal with. Sexual frustration is what he signed up for the moment he decided to spend his life as an idol and, therefore, unable to _deal_ with such issues like any other regular young man. But with Taehyung, it was a lot more than that. With Taehyung there was a lot more than just sexual need, and that was the hardest part of it all. Whatever he felt around the brunette, it wasn't something he was able to handle, and sometimes he would go as far as wonder whether or not he should just keep a safe distance, just drop this friendship in order to maintain his sanity, but shit is: he couldn't. Taehyung was also his best company, the brighter part of his days, and that's not something Jungkook was willing to lose. 

 

JM: Cut it off already, you too. Let's just play something and forget it even happened.

 

Jimin knew Taehyung long enough to notice something was off. This wasn't just his regular "messing with the maknae" thing. The last time he saw his younger brother trying so hard to get on someone's head, next thing he knew this person became his girlfriend. Taehyung's so called relationship lasted for about 2 months, which was a record among them, considering their merciless schedules always managed to scare away everyone they ever dated in less than 30 days. Because Taehyung was such a cute and caring person, this girl probably found it very hard to walk away - even though they only got to meet four times during that whole period, being the 4th the last. The break up led Taehyung to terribly gloomy days, which reminded everyone why trying to date people at that point in their career was such a bad idea. Anyway, he could still remember how much the synergy in their dorm changed during that time; not only Taehyung turned into a totally different person, but also his relationship with Jungkook became a complete disaster. Everyone could tell just how jealous he was of the older, which was not that abnormal considering he was no longer been giving the same affection and attention as before, but... There was also something about his level of overreaction they never really understood, specially considering such hysteria never happened when Jin also happened to date a few months later (needless to say his relationship also ended just as fast as it started).

 

TH: Okay, I'll drop it... Once I get a honest answer.

JK: Does it even matter? Why do you even care that much? Are you really that needy? If you really have that much to prove, I guess I'm not the jealous one here - Turning tables never felt so good.

TH: You are right. I'm definitely needy. But... only when it comes to you. - He answered blatantly - What? You thought I wouldn't have enough balls to admit it? Here you go! Unlike you, I'm very honest about my feelings, Jungkook - He spat out just like that, and his words cut deeper than a knife.

JK: And what makes you think I'm not? 

TH: The fact that you can't even bring yourself to admit just how much you wanted me to have kissed you instead. 

 

Silence.

 

TH: Your silence tells me everything I needed to know. 

JM: Jungkook, you good?. - He asks right away, concerned eyes landing on the younger's petrified face. It was so unusual seeing him like that, completely speechless, silently choking on words he can't bring himself to say, that for a moment he starts questioning everything he thought he knew about his treasured younger brother 

 

_What if... No, it can't be. Jungkook would never actually have feelings for... No. Definitely not. That's just crazy, it's only fanfiction material... right? For starters, Jungkook is as straight as straight can get, and that's something we know for sure. And alsoTaehyungie... even though his personality is a little eccentric, he was also straight. They are both just regular straight guys messing around a little, but would never actually **fall** for each other... right?_

 

JK: This is bullshit. I'm leaving - Jungkook said before quickly getting off of the bed and walking towards the door - Jimin, you coming?

TH: He's staying - Taehyung cut off before the older had the chance to decide for himself.

JK: Suit yourself - He said sharply before finally leaving.

 

Jimin stared dazed at his hands for a couple minutes before lifting his head to meet Taehyung's eyes.

 

JM: What was all this about, Taehyung? I don't get it. Why would you say such things to Jungkook? And why he got so worked up over it? If you have something to tell me this is a good moment because because honestly... I'm lost here.

TH: Jiminie... I... - Taehyung tried to speak but the words felt like sand in his tongue, and all he could do was rub his eyes aggressively - I can't talk about it. I just... I can't. I'm sorry.

JM: Taetae, look at me. - He said firmly as he grabbed the younger's chin and forced him to look up - You just fucking kissed me and now you are embarrassed of talking? Fuck you! You better say something, and you better do it now.

TH: Okay - he started trying his best to not let his embarrassment get the best out of him and give his best friend the trust he deserved - Lately... No, not lately, it's been quite a while, actually... I kind of... even since the day we first kissed... I started having weird feelings, Jimin - Taehyung finally managed to get it all out, feeling like all the weight in the world have been lifted from his shoulders. 

JM: Uh... okay. Just... give me a minute to digest it - Jimin said as he stood up and started walking in circles, looking down and massaging his temples like that information was too big to sit properly in his brain so he had to physically make room for it. After a few seconds he took a deep breath and sat down again, turning his eyes back to the younger who kept biting on his nails - Okay. Enlighten me: what exactly do you mean by weird?Like, awkward weird or...  _weird_ weird - Jimin internally prayed Taehyung would understand what he meant by that so he wouldn't have to go as far as elaborate it further.

TH: Like _weird_ weird - Jimin swallowed hard at that, and even though he seemed truly troubled he managed to keep his composure for his friend's sake. Taehyung then continued - At first it was nothing like that. I did it just like you did to me back then, I just wanted to take the burden off of him, because we are close and I knew I could make it comfortable enough so he wouldn't have to feel pressured nor shy about being inexperienced. But then... as soon as he kissed me back... something changed inside of me. It was so weird, and I just couldn't control it. I kept wanting to get more and more out of it, and... - At this point Taehyung started to move his hands hysterically, like he was trying his best to find the right words to express it - It felt like I had been hit by a car or something. I never felt anything like that before, Jiminie. And then before I could even process what was happening we were already all over each other, and I touched him, and he touched me back, and... - Jimin's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open at his remark, so he rushed to fix it - No! Not _that_ level of touching. Oh my God, just... caressing, I guess.

JM: I guess I'm a little dizzy. So... you are telling me that you started having feelings for Jungkook? - He wasn't really asking. Actually he was just trying to organize all that information in his own head - I... I don't get it. You guys never acted any different, except from that one time that I even pointed out at it, to which later I knew the reason was the kiss, and that was understandable, but beside that... there was nothing else. I mean, you are telling you have been feeling weird around him all along? It's been like a year? I kissed him too and he acts the same around both of us. I must have missed something along the way, I... - Suddenly Jimin started tearing up, and so did Taehyung. He couldn't tell why, but his chest felt so heavy he was unable to move. There was something that big going on, right under his nose, and he failed to perceived it. For whatever it's worth the rest of the members were also just as clueless, but that was not making things any easier on him.

TH: Jiminie... don't cry... why are you crying? - Taehyung asked and reached to stroke his best friend's wet cheeks - Are you really that sad? I will stop it. For you, I can just pretend nothing ever happened and we can go back to the way things used to be. Huh? - Seeing his friend like that, a strong guilty feeling started to boil in the pit of his stomach, and he felt like he was about to throw up. 

JM: It's not like that, it's... God I'm so fucking clueless. It must have been hard on you, huh? All of this... I mean, it's just... too much. I can't even handle it, how can you handle it? All by yourself, Taehyungie... I'm such a terrible friend - Jimin said between sobs while resting his forehead on Taehyung's shoulder. They just stayed like that for a while, until their tears dried on their own. 

TH: Jiminie... I'm doomed - Taehyung said as he let go and they looked back at each other. 

JM: Yes, you are. My dummy Taetae... - He tried to crack a smile but it failed to reach his eyes - This is a very delicate situation. You talked to anyone else about it?

TH: Long ago, right at the very beginning, I might have talked a little to Yoongi hyung. I mean, I never really said anything, but you know him, he just fucking read minds. Anyway, he reminded me of how dangerous this can get.A relationship between members? It's beyond wrong, it's insanity to just consider it. 

JM: I'm glad he already brought this subject because I was about to. Taehyung, this... there's just too much on the stake here, and I can't just allow you to risk it all. You can't. I wish I could tell you something different, but this is the truth, and I can't just lie and pretend this is alright because it isn't. And you know it. _He_  certainly knows it, for God's sake, and that's why he behaved like that. He is obviously in denial and he intends to remain like that, or else...

TH:... we'll ruin everything. I get it - Taehyung knew it all. It was all obvious enough. He was also in denial, but his reasons were the opposite: Taehyung wasn't in denial of his feelings. He was totally aware of it and he welcomed it all. Instead, he was in denial of all the harm it could bring not only to them, but to the whole group - I just... I really need to touch him. I feel so needy, Jimin. My skin in burning just to think about it, seriously. I'm sorry for telling you all of this, you are probably very much disgusted right now. Sorry.

JM: Don't be sorry. I mean, it's definitely disgusting, but I can cope - Jimin joked in order to ease the atmosphere - Actually, I don't even believe what I'm about to say right now, so you better keep that in memory because I'm only saying it once: if you can promise to keep those feelings friendly enough... maybe you guys can, you know, be some sort of friends with benefits or something? Shit, I actually said it. I fucking said it. Kill me right now - Taehyung scanned him with cautiously, very much interested in whatever he was saying - Like, you can make out and shit, you know... I can cover for you. 

 

Taehyung couldn't believe his ears.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The truth is... I think I'm in love with you."

 

 

JM: Do you want me to go talk to him? - Jimin offered kindly, sincerely concerned whether or not Taehyung could fix that up.

TH: No, its okay, I can do it. Besides, I can't let him think it's okay to trow a tantrum at me, that brat. Today's kids, I swear... - The taller joked, trying to convince Jimin that he wasn't just as worried.

JM: Yeah, our Kookie is a wild one. Well, you go do your thing, then. I'll get to bed - he said getting up and heading to the door. Before leaving he stopped to turn around and give Taehyung one last reassuring smile - Hey, I'll keep my phone in case you need to talk.

TH: G'night. And before I forget: thank you. As always. I sincerely love you, Jiminie. No homo, though - he added getting a warm and espontaneos laugh from the shorter

JM: Love you too. Even though you are an idiot. 

 

Taehyung scratched his scalp roughly while staring at the phone in his lap. Although it was really late, he knew Jungkook was still awake, for their terrible sleeping habits were awfully similar. He massaged his temples thoughtfully, before finally giving up and grabbing it. His fingers rushed through the words, as if he was trying to write it down as faster as he could before giving up the idea.

 

"3:42 Kookie... I'm so sorry"

 

"3:42 :'("

 

"3:43 Can we talk?"

 

"3:45 Please"

 

"3:49 I know you are not sleeping yet"

 

"3:52 Don't ignore me"

 

"3:52 I'm still a hyung, y'know"

 

"3:55 ..."

 

"3:56 brat."

 

_"3:57 Jeon MusclePig: WHAT, goddammit"_

 

 _"_ 3:58 Language, please."

 

_"3:59 Jeon MusclePig: If u r goin to be funny I'll just leave u on read again"_

 

"4:01 Sorry..."

 

"4:01 Can I come over?"

 

"4:03 ... Please" 

 

"4:05 Jungkook we really need to talk and I won't sleep until we do so"

 

" _4:07 Jeon MusclePig: Ok"_

 

 

 

 

After a few minutes wandering around in the corridors he started wondering whether or not he should have actually prepared something to say. He needed to talk to Jungkook but he couldn't just spit everything out like a crazy person again. Besides, he wasn't sure about how the younger was going to react to the insanity of Jimin's suggestion,especially considering that, like he said himself, Jungkook was clearly in denial about all of this hot-mess. How he was going to even approach the subject? How to fucking suggest his goddamn  _younger brother_  and _group mate_ to start a friends-with-a-whole-lot-of-benefits relationship?

 

While still lost in his train of thoughts, a door abruptly opened startling him so bad he nearly tripped on his own feet and fell face planted on the floor. When he looked back to curse at whoever just dared to scare the fuck out of him in the middle of the night he got face to face to a just as startled plus very much shirtless sun-kissed toned boy.

 

JK: Taehyung? What are you doing just standing here? Why didn't you knock? - Jungkook blinked confused. 

TH: I was 'bout to. I just... forgot my phone back in my room and was thinking if I needed to go back for it. But nevermind. - If Taehyung was intending to sound any convincing, it was needless to say he failed miserably. In his defense, having a shirtless Jungkook staring down at him wasn't exactly helpful to that matter.

JK: Are you coming in? - The younger kept holding the door open until the older finally snapped out of his bubble and walked past him, being all too extra careful not to touch the younger in the process. Once inside he looked around trying to find any place to sit down, other than the bed, but had to gave up that idea when Jungkook sat in it himelf and patted for him to follow through - So, what is this that you needed so bad to talk about?

TH: Uh... yeah  The older started shifting weirdly in bed - So... tonight I... it was weird, right?

JK: Honestly, I don't understand why you did all that for, Taehyung - The younger answered in a very serious tone - I get it that you were trying to prove some stupid point, but... why? Why would you bring all that shit up all of a sudden? Why would you insist on dragging it further? And why dragging Jimin hyung into this? I honestly don't fucking get it, Taehyung. We were... we _are_ fine, everything is finally feeling normal again, why would you want to ruin it? - as he kept spilling all those pilled up words, Taehyung couldn't help but notice his eyes getting watery and his fists clenching in his knees. It was disturbing to see the always peaceful Jungkook in such state.

TH: I know it was wrong and I get that you are upset. I'm sorry about the way I did it, but... If I say I'm sorry that I did it, I'd be lying to you - Taehyung confessed, words spilling heavily like sand - Seeing you like this... it truly breaks my heart. You know that. You know how much I care about you, so I don't have to lie about it. But... even though it hurts... I can't regret it. Somehow I feel like the way you reacted today... it gives me hope, y'know? Somehow it shows me that I might not be alone in this, that I might not be crazy. Well, I definitely am fucking crazy, but at least I feel like I'm not delusional - Taehyung then looked up and took Jungkook's trembling hands into his. The lonely droplets of water that before adorned his face turned into heavy warm tears, and his chest rose and fell heavily with each inhalation of thick air - Jungkookie... let's just stop it. I don't want to run away from it anymore... - At this point Taehyung's tears also started to run down his face, fast and heavy enough for his vision to get blurred and his heart beating aggressively against his ribs - I can't no more, Jungkook. God knows I've been trying, and things _seem_ normal, but... it doesn't  ** _feel_** normal. Not anymore. And I think they never will - Taehyung's grip into the younger's hand got even harder, squishing it painfully until there were merely enough blood in his knuckles as they allowed their pain to be freed for the first time while sharing a warm yet sad knowing look, both well aware that this conversation was about to change their lives forever - The truth is... I think I'm in love with you - Jungkook inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, never trying to stop his reminiscent tears to keep falling shamelessly. He opened his lips but before he had to chance to say something Taehyung silenced him with his finger - I'm not done - The younger then nodded and Taehyung continued - Like I said... I think I'm in love with you, Jungkook. And I know that this is the last thing you needed to hear right now. I know that you don't want it, you never did. I know that it's hard on you, and I know that you probably hate me now for saying all of this, but... I can't help but to think that... you are in love with me too - Jungkook's eyes snapped wide open and he stared back at the older who had his eyes trained on him all along - And we both know how wrong this is, and how much there's on the stake here. Yet, no matter what I do, I can't seem to resist you - Taehyung then eyed Jungkook's naked torso, causing the younger to suddenly start feeling self conscious about it and blush heavily - You attract me _so_ much, Jungkook. So much that, sometimes, I think that even if I never get to love you properly... I'd be satisfied if I could just fucking _touch_  you like I've been wanting so bad to.

 

 

Taehyung reached cautiously, slowly, until the tip of his fingers touched Jungkook's arm, proceeding to caress all the way up to his neck. His eyes followed suit until they fell into the younger's. The sadness Taehyung found there merely seconds ago suddenly disappeared, being replaced by an unreadable intensity that sent shivers all over Taehyung's spine. In a swift movement Jungkook grabbed Taehyung's hand and placed it the bulge in his pants, getting a startled grasp in return. 

Jungkook has never been good with words, so he decided to just let his actions talk as he pulled Taehyung aggressively by his shirt, pinning him roughly in bed and landing heavily on top of him. The younger was panting hard, both from arousal and fear.

 

JK: Taehyung, I... I have no idea what I'm doing - he confessed, lust and embarrassment adorning his voice.

TH: That makes both of us, then - Taehyung whispered before finally closing the distance between them in a long awaited kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Yoongi's room]

 

JH: I knew something like that would happen sooner or later... But honestly I was kinda of expecting it from Jimin and Taehyung. Our baby Jungkook? That was a surprise! -Hoseok stated calmly with his mouth fulled with cold noodles. 

YG: I know right? I was kind of shocked when Taehyung came at me to talk. I guess there's no such thing as a "baby Kookie" anymore... - Yoongi added while lifting his brows sarcastically.

JH: But why it took you so long to tell me about it, hyung? Why now, all of a sudden? You think they might be back at it? - The younger worried as he finished his meal and sat beside Yoongi in the small couch.

YG: I didn't want to worry anyone back then, and when I talked to him he seemed to take my words at heart and even promised me he would forget all about that. But recently... - Yoongi clicked his tongue thoughtfully, fingers hovering over his lips - Its just... don't you think they are being too close? I mean, more than the usual?

JH: Kookie and Taetae? I don't know, I never really worried about them like _that,_ so I guess I can't really contribute to your investigation. Anyway, Jiminie is always around them, and I like to believe that if he had sensed something off about the two he would have come at us to talk, right?

YG: Seok, are you serious? Park Jimin? Turning Taehyung and Jungkook down? That kid is as loyal as a dog for fucks sake!

JH: I guess you are right. Anyway, even if you turn out being right about it, shouldn't we just let them be? I mean, at least we know for sure neither of them would do anything stupid enough to get caught. A regular rumor is bad enough, but a _gay_ rumor? Shit, that would be catastrophic... 

YG: Seok, do you think they might be gay? Like, really gay for each other? - The older wondered and Hoseok shrugged in response - I think they are just... I don't know, like, messing around? I mean, it's totally understandable to have curiosities at their age. I don't think it's that serious, though.

JH: Yeah, you try convincing the world of that. Or worse, you try convincing _them_ of that once they get their way with each other. Honestly, its really easy to get confused. I mean, such feelings can get messy, right? We know it for a fact, hyung - Hoseok stated while poking Yoongi's sides playfully - Been there done that, huh? - He joked further bringing his lips way too close to Yoongi's ear and pretending he didn't just noticed the pink flush coloring his hyung's pale cheeks.

YG: Stop touching me. I don't know what are you talking about - Yoongi answered sharply, trying hard to sound unamused but failing miserably due to the deep blush working its way from his cheeks to his neck, to which the other responded by rubbing the tip of his nose tentatively, inhaling the strong cologne scent he was so familiarized with. 

JH: Hyung... don't you miss it? - He proceeded cautiously, replacing his nose with his lips, pecking slightly at the older's neck and causing goose bumps to spread all over it - I do - Yoongi then turned his head looking straight up to his dongsaeng's face, only a few inches apart from his, hot breath tickling his lips and a familiar grin starting to form in the corners of his mouth.

YG: Seok... I'm warning you to be sure about this crap you are pulling because you know I won't stop once I start - Yoongi said firmly, the coldness in his eyes replaced by a burning spark Hoseok haven't seen in years. 

JH: Don't worry. I know exactly what I'm signing up for.

 

Hoseok then threw himself over the older who was still motionless, straddling him with his strong dancer's thighs, never breaking eye contact. Yoongi smirked, both startled and aroused at the Hoseok's sudden boldness. The older then finally made a move, sliding his hands up the other's thighs all the way up his ass, pulling at it to get him even closer. Hoseok moaned loudly as he threw his head back granting Yoongi free access to his neck, to which he took instant advantage by biting into the flesh right above his collarbones, thrusting his hips up just to meet the younger's growing with his own. The friction had their heads spinning, and as Yoongi let out a hoarse cry from his parted lips, Hoseok took the opportunity to mash their lips together in a needy kiss, to which Yoongi responded immediately by parting his lips even further to give Hoseok's tongue better access. They kissed deep and hard, overflowing nostalgic passion they didn't realize was still hidden in there, lingering subtly through all these years of being efficiently masked as a special friendship. They just kept kissing for several minutes, making out as if they wanted to make up for all the time that they had neglected each other. Neither of them knew who started it, but before they realized it they were rubbing their rock hard members together in sinful synchronized movements, grinding and panting heavily on each other's skin, mouths long forgotten. It didn't take much until both came hard, spilling their pleasure inside their pants in a shuddering sweaty panting mess, Hoseok's face buried deep inside Yoongi's neck, hearts racing in their chests.

 

YG: I knew you were still a sucker for my tongue technology - Yoongi teased once they finally managed to catch their breathe.

JH: Shut up - was all Hoseok could manage to answer, earning an arrogant smirk from the older.

 

 

 

 

 

[Jungkook's room]

 

Taehyung pushed Jungkook harder onto the bed, rubbing his whole body against his, his painful erection pressed against the younger’s thighs, hot even through the fabric of their clothes. Jungkook wasn't any better, heat coiling in his lower belly as he let out a whine, pressing back against the older with their hungry mouths still connected, tasting and fighting for dominance, their kisses sloppy and heated as usual. After what felt like hours Jungkook broke 'em apart, desperately gasping for air. 

 

JK: Taehyung... - He tried to say while the older sucked another hickey in his collarbone - Wait, wait - He insisted as Taehyung's hands started hovering dangerously close to his waistband - Taehyung, stop - Jungkook finally managed to say, still breathless, startling the older who stared right back at him with lustful piercing eyes.

TH: Jungkookie, I feel  _so_  hot. Please, let me... let me just... - Taehyung begged with his eyes tearing up with need, unable to stop his hands to slide up and down Jungkook's naked torso - I've never felt like this before, _goddammit_ , I've never done anything like this before. If you ask me to stop it I think I might go crazy 

JK: Yeah, me too - Jungkook answered weakly, mewling at his hyung's touch, all his muscles tensing as he tried to form coherent words while Taehyung licked and nibbed at his skin - That's why I... I don't think we should... - Jungkook tried again, but was silenced again as Taehyung brought their lips back together in a loud wet kiss

TH: Don't you want it? - Taehyung asked as he brought his tongue out to outline Jungkook's thick lower lip before diving in again and sucking hard at the younger's warm muscle with his eyes opened, watching Jungkook's sheepish expression

JK: I do, it's just... - The younger started again, cheeks tinted red - I just think it's all too soon - He answered honestly and Taehyung finally stopped his ministrations, releasing the younger from his grip and sitting back up.

TH: Okay. It's okay. I understand. - He said still breathless and trying to get his disheveled hair back in place before offering Jungkook his hand for him to sit up as well. Once he did, Taehyung handed him his long forgotten shirt back. They remained in comfortable silence for a while, trying to recollect from the sudden events, until Taehyung finally spoke up - So... do you care to watch a movie or something?

JK: Yeah, sure - The younger answered as a shy smile adorned his face. They lied down side by side, Taehyung nesting Jungkook's head in his chest, and watched whatever was on the TV until they fell sleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 I love my OTPs


	11. Chapter 11

[Taehyung's pov] 

 

It was about 6am when I woke up with a weird lingering feeling in my body. As I lazily opened my eyes and saw a familiar sleeping figure next to me, reality hit me like a Jeon Jungkook shaped bullet as a massive wave of warmth runned all over me, crawling in my skin and working its way up to my face until I was smiling so hard my face literally hurt. Needless to say, I wasn't able to fall asleep anymore. We have been living together for so long now, spending 24 hours a day in each other faces, slept together countless times before, even bathed together, but this feeling... I've never experienced anything like this before. Somehow it felt like we had just met, and I couldn't stop staring at him wondering when did he become so damn attractive. Just yesterday he was my lovely dongsaeng, but right that moment... He was a man in my eyes, and this man was so beautiful I couldn't barely handle all the hysterical butterflies dancing in my stomach.  _I'm fucking wipped_  was all I could think as I managed to cover him up with the blanket he kicked out of bed during the night before getting up. I went back to my room and threw myself in my bed to pointlessly stare at the ceiling as if it could provide me all the answers I so desesperately needed. Yoongi's and Jimin's words kept echoing in my ears to the point I literally tried silencing them by burrying my face in the hotel's pillows.

 

 _Would it really be that tragic? I mean, don't people already "ship" us together, anyway? So, like, if we dated wouldn't it be the realization of our fan's fantasies?_   _Well, for half of them, I guess, taking into consideration that we actually have two types of fans: the ones that want us to marry them, and the others that want us to marry each other, and there's literally nothing in between_.

 

Unable to keep my thoughts in place, a very unusual idea crossed my mind and, before I could think it through, I grabbed my phone and  typed "TaeKook" on Google. Needless to say, I was both pleased and choked with the absurd amount of material I could find (2.010.000 results in 0,13 seconds, precisely). I knew fans digged that kind of thing and that there was literally no limits they were unwilling to cross when it comes to it - the exact reason we were advised by our staff to "No matter how curious you get, don't ever try and look it up in the internet. Seriously" in the first place, but, considering our lives had literally just become a real life fanfiction, I decided there was nothing to be afraid of. I scrooled down to countless pictures, montages, theories (both great and delulu ones), fan arts and, of course, the dark world of fanfictions and its funny pairings that, I confess, we often use to tease one another in our dorm, because well, who wouldn't laugh at how many times Namjoon empregnated Jin, anyway? Clearly only Jin.

 

[/pov]

 

 

 

Taehyung never thought that one day he would actually blush instead of cringe to the contents he found, but truth be told, all those utterly inappropriate fan arts of he and Jungkook made his pants feel a lot tighter. Despite how wrong it felt, before he could stop himself he was already painfully hard in his pants, and it only took one particular nsfw artwork for him to give up and slide his hands down his boxers. He grabbed his trobbing length and closed his eyes whining at how sensitive he was for all the boners he had to neglect this partircular night. He kept scrooling down the pages only to stop at this excruciating realistic drawing of Jungkook's slick lips around his cock, jerking himself harder and proceeding to pay extra attention to the head, already dripping with pre cum. Taehyung couldn't help the loud moans that escaped his swollen lips once he pictured how good it would feel to be touched like that by the younger, to have him pumping his cock up and down while pulling at his hair and kissing his lips aggressively. Jungkook's soft skin and veiny arms clouded his mind with lust as the recent memory of the younger's warm mouth and slick tongue working wonders with his own, while his inexperienced hands roamed uncertainly but firmly all over his body was enough to have him come hard in his hand, biting hard on his lower lip to contain the name trapped on the tip of his tongue.

 

 

 

It was around 9am and they were all gathered in the hotel's lobby, waiting for the van to come and pick them up to head to the airport. If Jimin was a little less sharp, he wouldn't have noticed the not-so-subtle glances exchanged between both Taehyung and Jungkook, and Hoseok and Yoongi. He almost brushed it off, but neither of them were helping their case considering how obvious it was that they were avoiding one another. Jimin couldn't help the snort that escaped his throat. 

Jin: What's so funny? - Jin asked while looking around and trying to find the reason for Jimin's sudden amuse.  

JM: Huh? Oh, it's nothing. I was just remembering something I saw on twitter yesterday - Jimin lied and the older just nodded. Unfortunatelly, he was too much of an observer, and cornered the younger once again.

Jin: Don't you think they are acting a little weird today? - He asked eyeing the two couples sitting silent in the couch.

JM: Really? I don't think so, no. I mean, Hobi hyung being weird is not really new, and the same goes for Yoongi hyung. And Taehyungie and Jungkookie... Probably just had another fight over Overwatch, like usual. They'll be good in no time. - He lied again, and thankfully he was a better actor than his dumb friends. 

Jin: Yeah, probably. - for Jimin's relief Jin dropped the subject and shrugged - Shit, I'm hungry. 

JM: Me too. You think they have a convenience store at the airport? 

Jin: Hopefully. 

 

JM: Let's go find one, then.

 

 

As soon as the van arrived Jimin went and sat right next to Jungkook, fully decided to talk about whatever might have happened last night. After he got off Taehyung's room he felt his chest constrict in worry, wondering why in hell he decided to give his two cents into that matter because now he couldn't help to feel like a part of it. Just the tought of Jungkook and Taehyung actually being a thing was enough to give him a life-time worthy of headaches, but yet he was trying his best to digest it for the younger's sake. It was all so fucking dangerous that he couldn't barely believe he was the one to suggest such insanity. What was he thinking? Letting they both have their way with each other? And then what? Expect them to be mature enough to handle it smoothly? They were obviously too fucking young and innocent for that shit, and obviously would end up hurting each other for good. If he could he would gladly take it all back and just slap his shitty idea out of Taehyung's mind, but by watching 'em this morning it was clearly too late. He scratched his nape remembering all the emotions he saw deep in Taehyung's eyes last night. There was love in it for the first time since they met years ago and there was no point denying it. Taehyung was irreparably doomed by this point, that much Jimin could tell, but if he fails to see the same in Jungkook's eyes, then, maybe, there was still hope for them.

 

JM: So... did you sleep well? - Jimin suddenly asked, drawing Jungkook's attention from the game he was playing in his phone.  

JK: Yeah. Why? - He retorted staring at his hands , trying to look busy even though the game was paused.

JM: Well, you know... Last night was... Something. You ran out of the room looking really upset, and then today you and Taehyung seemed a little off... I'm just worried, thats all - He said trying to sound casual, but Jungkook kept chewing the inside of his cheeks the entire time, tapping his tumb nervously at the screen.

JK: We are fine, we talked last night. Everything's fine. Don't worry. - Jungkook answered honestly causing Jimin to flinched at it. When did they talked things through? As far as he was concerned, it was already pretty late when he left Taehyung by himself, and even if they really ended up talking, how come Taehyung failed to let him know? He couldn't help but to feel a little betrayed as he looked at the taller one sitting far in the back, staring out the window and smiling by himself; Taehyung was an eccentric person, but smiling out of nowhere that early in the morning was definitely not his thing. 

JM: Ok, Jungkookie, I'll just be direct with you: what happened between you and Taehyung last night? - Jimin inquired as he grabbed the younger's chin to force him to meet his eyes.

JK: What are you talking about, hyung? I told you already, we talked it through, that's all - Jungkook struggled hard to maintain the eye contact as he lied to Jimin, because lying wasn't really on his plans. Jungkook just wished to omit it all until he felt comfortable enough to talk it through.

JM: Okay, let me make it easier for you: I talked to Taehyung yesterday too, and he told me about... this feelings he's been having - Jungkook's jaw dropped. He never expected Taehyung to actually open up about it. Actually, he was still digesting the fact that Taehyung actually had those feelings to begin with, but now just having someone else being aware of it, felt even more overwhelming. He was about to put an end to the conversation, but before he could speak Jimin cutted in - And I might or might not have... suggested that it would be okay for you guys to, maybe, mess around a little... If that's really what you guys wanted to do. I mean, it's not like I'm implying you need my blessing or anything, it's just that I might be willing to give you a little support.

JK: Hyung, I... I don't know what to say. Honestly, this is so confusing, I don't even know what the fuck is going on right now - Jungkook started while everyone was too busy taking a nap or immersed in their phones to pay them any attention - Hyung, I'm not gay! You know that! And Taehyung too, I mean, he just broke up with his girlfriend, for fucks sake! I don't know where this is all coming from, but I feel like I just can't ignore it anymore and it's killing me! I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore and that's so scary... - before he realized it he was a sobbing mess, leaning in Jimin's chest like a scared kid. His body just felt so heavy, like it was about to be ripped apart. Not only he was feeling lost, but also embarrassed. He wished he could say he was a very open minded person, but that was not his reality, that was not how he was raised, and definitely that was not something his fans, friends and family would be willing to accept. He could try and lie to himself that it was all about "experiencing new things", or just some hormonal shit, but he was old enough to know better, and whatever he felt when they made out last night... that was something more than all that.

TH: Jungkook? What's going on? -Taehyung approached them from behind, whispering with a very concerned look in his face.

JK: Uh... it's nothing, hyung. I didn't mean to worry you, I'm so sorry - Jungkook wasn't expecting Taehyung to actually be paying attention to him.

TH: What do you mean it's nothing? Kook, you are crying! - He urged as he squeezed himself in Jimin's seat, earning an unpleasant look from the older who was now struggling to fit.

JM: We were talking about some things, and he got emotional. Now if you don't mind, you are interrupting us.

TH: Hey, I'm not talking to you, okay? - he shouted, taken back by his friend's sudden hostility.

JK: Stop it you too. Are you really gonna start an argument over me right now? That's really helpful, thank you very much! 

TH: Sorry. I'm just trying to help, that's all. I mean, if you want to tell me what's wrong... I'm just worried about you. You know how much do you mean to me, don't you? You know you can count on me, right? - he said as he reached out for the younger's face, caressing his flustered cheeks and giving him a reassuring smile.

JK: Yes... I know - he stared right into Taehyung's eyes and forced a smile. There was something about him that was always so comforting. At this point he didn't even cared about Jimin standing between them, looking completely stunned, as he reached for Taehyung's hand and intertwined their fingers instinctively. It was right there, in that moment, that Jimin realized Jungkook was just as much in love. He let out a deep sigh as he patted both of their thighs and brought them in a tight hug.

JM: I swear, you guys are going to make me crazy... - he said, voice weak in concern as he finally broke the hug and got up his seat, leaving Taehyung alone in it, still holding Jungkook's hand while giving him a slightly confused look. He crouched in front of them and forced a smile - Although it's pretty obvious already, I'd like you guys to fill me up on what exactly happened yesterday. 

TH: Well... - he started, never letting go of the younger's hand as he looked down at their intertwined fingers and back to Jimin's face - we might have agreed on... you know... trying on your suggestion - he finally stole a glance on Jungkook's face, and smiled at how mortified it was - it's okay, Jungkook. Jimin is okay. You don't have to be ashamed.

JK: I know. It's just... - he tilted his head to the side cutely, still avoiding his hyung's eyes - feels weird. Very weird.

JM: Indeed. So... are you guys a thing now?

TH: I don't really know. Are we? - Taehyung questioned as the younger finally met his eyes.

JK: I don't know... I'm confused.

JM: Okay, okay, I got it. I won't press any further. I'll just assume I better avoid getting in rooms whenever you guys are hanging out inside - Jimin joked earning a punch from each of the boys in response. 

TH: It's not like that, don't be dirty. Maybe a little canoodling can't be helped, but I'll hang a tie on the door knob just in case - Taehyung shot back making both Jimin and Jungkook gasp - What? It's not like we were just holding hands last night, Jeon...

JM: Hell no! Please spare me! - Jimin begged as the youngers laughed. The car stopped once they finally arrived at the airport, so Taehyung got up and gave Jungkook one last wink before heading back to his seat.

 

 

 


	12. Dangerously

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been craving some Yoonseok, so... Yeah, be warned.

 

 

The flight was a short one, but even so they all took the opportunity to take a nap. During promotions, changing the day for the night just couldn't be helped because they would always spend the night fully awake, usually spending time eating and playing games in their hotel rooms while still too energetic to go to sleep right after a concert or an intense schedule.

Jimin opened his eyes slowly, trying to adjust his sight still blurred with sleep, rubbing his eyes and taking a glimpse around. First thing he sees is a small heap of blankets right by his side; _is it even that cold?,_ he wondered for a second and then tried remembering which member took that seat. After a few seconds his eyes widened as he kept staring at that weird volume beside him, which was moving slightly but certainly. _Would it be Jungkook and Taehyung..?_ he couldn't help but wonder and panic a little. When he finally dared to grab at the blanket and take a peak inside, what he saw was not only unexpected but extremely shocking to say the least: Yoongi and Hoseok were under it, the older straddling the younger's lap while their lips were strongly connected in a heated kiss, which was harshly interrupted upon realization that someone just removed their not-so-subtle cover. Hoseok jumped on his seat and tried to break away, but Yoongi remained unbothered enough to harden his grip on the younger's nape forcing him to stay planted as he reached for his lips again, grunting in annoyance. "Hyung, there's someone..." was all the younger managed to say while having his voice muffled by the older's insistent tongue. Hoseok continued trying to push him away, so Yoongi gave up and broke their kiss himself, sighing annoyed.

YG: Ya, Park Jimin! What do you want? - Yoongi asked angrily while still having his right knee standing shamelessly right in the middle of Hoseok's opened legs, brushing at his dying erection. Jimin was so startled that all he could do was stand still with his mouth agape, trying and failing miserably to understand what the fuck he just witnessed.

JM: What you mean what I want? What the hell is going on here? Why... why are you... what's this? - Jimin inquired in pure shock, trying his best to keep his tone down.

YG: "This" is called a kiss, but I'm pretty sure you are well aware of how it works, specially since later you have been busy getting a hang on it with Jungkook. Now, if you don't mind, I was clearly busy - Yoongi merely stated, as collected as ever, before turning his attention back at an extremely embarrassed Hoseok, whose face was deep red, eyes blinking nervously, and never once daring to meet Jimin's gaze.

JM: Wait, what? I'm not... I'm not getting a hang on anything with anyone! Wait, how do you even know about it? 

YG: Taehyung told me a while ago. By the way, you should really tell your friends to try and be subtle about this shit, because I just walked in on them eating each other's faces in the bathroom stall in the back. Luckily it was me. The idiots totally forgot to lock the damn door - Yoongi said and clicked his tongue with sarcasm - I guess not being cautious is a maknae pattern... I clearly remember Hoseok telling me about you and Jungkook kissing in a goddamn waiting room last year.

JH: True! What the fuck were you thinking? Noona was about to get in there, so I had to pretend I messed my make up so she would walk away with me - Hoseok said and pointed a finger at Jimin's face accusingly. 

JM: That was one in a lifetime shit, okay? We were arguing and I just wanted him to shut up - the younger lied.

JH: Well, that's an original way of ending an argument. Do you usually end arguments like that on a daily basis, Jiminie? Because honestly, if that's how you intend to end this argument with Yoongi hyung right now... I can always just leave.

JM: Shut up! Why are you even turning this against me? I just caught you both hands on while I was innocently sleeping! - Jimin argued and his face got just as flushed as Hoseok's. When did things become that weird? Literally just yesterday everything was pretty normal, just silly brothers doing their thing, and now everyone is up to get down and dirty? What's with this plot twist? Jimin felt like he was living in a parallel universe, and maybe if he got back to sleep things would go back to the way they were. But then he also couldn't help but to wonder if THIS was their actual reality during this whole time, and he was just too alienated to see what was going on right underneath his nose. Or, in the bestest of options, he had just been caught in a hidden cam prank. But then again, who in hell would agree to do such thing just for a prank? Besides, pity on his poor eyes, that kiss was as real as real can get - Is it... for how long it's been going on?

YG: Yesterday? - Yoongi snorted - Well, not really, I mean... before our debut and all, Hoseok and I used to... you know, just to blow off some steam. But then you guys came along, and you were all too young and shit, so for the sake of the group we called it quits - Yoongi explained - We were never romantically involved, though. Let's not misunderstand things here - At this remark Hoseok nodded aggressively for emphasis. Jimin gave them a weird look and then turned his attention towards Namjoon and Seokjin in a wordless question - No, not them. They never... I mean, as far as I know. That's just Hoseok and I. Well, and those two idiots - Yoongi answered and pointed at younger ones sitting on the back, sleeping soundly. 

JM: Oh... ok. - that was all he could think for a response - Does anyone else knows about you two?

YG: Namjoon knows. Well, he was there when we first kissed, long time ago. Not that we ever talked about it, but he's not naive enough to believe we never did that again. He just... pretends to be clueless - the older said with a chuckle - He probably told Jin hyung about it, so I assume he also knows. Well, I also had to tell Taeyung and Jungkook about it, because when I ran into them earlier they looked like they were about to cry out of embarrassment, so I was like "it's okay, I get it, Hobi and I do it too sometimes".

JM: So... everyone knows?

YG: Yep. Jungkook and Taehyung, though... They are just so fucking obvious I bet even the staff suspects it by now. You gotta tell them to chill, for fucks sake. Anyway, if you ever feel lonely just join us instead, SOPE are way more fun and hot, I guarantee - Yoongi joked (not really) earning an embarrassed whine from the younger.

 

 

 

 

NJ: home, sweet home - The leader said throwing his bag on the couch as they finally got to their dorm.

JH: Put it in your room, don't be messy! - Hoseok whined 

JIN: We really are back, huh? Hobi is even back at his neat-freak antics. I haven't missed that, bro - Jin retorted and threw his bag on the couch as well teasingly

JH: Sorry, bae. If you don't like it just teach your husband some manners, then - Hoseok shot back

JIN: My what!? My... Yeah, sure, because we are the weird ones in this house, huh? Are you sure you wanna play this game? Are you sure? Should I start? - Jin shoots, and Jin strikes. Hoseok had been caught totally off guard and the aggressive flush in his cheeks just announced the k.o. 

JH: What's this? What are you saying? Aish.. - Hoseok complained, lying terribly and uselessly. Jin never hinted on knowing about anything before, therefore he had no idea how to react to his teasing, choosing to remain silent instead.

NJ: Just stop it already. You guys gonna make me lose my appetite - Namjoon finally interfered, clearly disturbed by the sudden approach to this delicate subject.

JM: I double that! Thank you, hyung! - Jimin also added, giving Namjoon a thumbs up and gaining a mischievous smirk from Taehyung who were silently heading towards his room.

TH: Jealous much, Jiminie? - Taehyung wouldn't just let that one go. Teasing Jimin was one of his favorite hobbies, specially since the shorter started it. He then gave Yoongi a quick stare asking for support.

YG: You guys... I get it. Being lonely and sexually frustrated... Aish, it is really hard, huh? But y'know, you can always just have fun you three. Hyung, I can always leave the room, ok? You know the tie on the doorknob trick, don't you? - As expected, the king of the sharp tongue always know how to hit.

JIN: Crazy brat, do you want to die!? - he shouted whilst aggressively throwing a pillow in their direction, to which both Taehyung and Yoongi luckily managed to dodge. Hoseok and Jimin laughed loudly at the familiar mess in their home, and Jungkook remained smiling shyly in a corner, considering he still wasn't feeling comfortable enough to join a conversation towards this matter. All in all he was just truly glad all of them seemed to have found a way to, somehow, deal with everything that was happening, or at least pretend like nothing had changed. It just showed how much of an actual family they were, and he couldn't help but to feel extremely touched.

 

 

 

Later that day all the older ones went to bed, leaving only Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung hanging out in the living room. After touring for months and getting used to sleep around 3 hours a day in order to keep up their tight schedules, they were unable to fall asleep and have been lying in complete boredom, staring at their phones for over an hour.

 

JM: Do you guys care to watch a movie? - the older asked nonchalantly

JK: Which one? 

JM: Whatever can get me to sleep. I don't really care.

TH: The best ones to sleep are old movies. Should I pick one?

JM: Whatever. Be my guest.

 

Halfway through the black and white movie Jimin was already asleep with his head in Jungkook's lap, while the younger was leaning on Taehyung's chest. Jungkook was already dozing off when he felt a hand caressing his lower back. He blinked slowly and look up to Taehyung whose eyes were still glued to the TV, but had a familiar smirk planted on his beautiful lips. 

 

JK: You just can't resist touching me, can you? - Jungkook said in a hoarse sleepy voice.

TH: You wish. My hand felt numb, that's all - he lied, unwilling to give Jungkook's cockyness any juice.

JK: Oh, I see. Too bad, then. Y'know, usually when someone, hypothetically, caress me purposely, I tend to... react in a more suitable manner. But since that's not the case, I might just go back to my movie - _two can play at this game,_ Jungkook thought.

TH: Yeah, that's really too bad. I mean, I'd love to know what type of... suitable reaction my innocent Kookie would be able to pull off. Y'know, maybe I should just ask him? Only for scientific purposes, of course - Taehyung retorted playfully, eyes still glued on the screen.

JK: Yeah, I guess you should. Y'know, I really support science - At this last remark neither of them could hold back their laughter any longer. Taehyung tightened his grip on Jungkook's waist and pulled him even closer, right hand meeting the younger's jaw seductively. 

TH: I guess you do love science - Taehyung scanned the maknae's face with narrowed eyes, and the younger responded by licking his plump lips mischievously. Taehyung let out a breathe he didn't realize he was holding before finally leaning in and closing the small gap between them in a sweet kiss. The tenderness did not last long, though, and only a few seconds into it led them into a harsh make out session, moaning and gasping, licking deep into each other mouths, hands roaming shamelessly, Jimin long forgotten. Jungkook grabbed Taehyung's hair and pulled at it, getting full access to the older's neck as he trailed it with the tip of his tongue, finishing with a bite on his jaw; the older let out a throaty moan, waking Jimin up just in time to watch Taehyung's neck being assaulted while he pulled Jungkook's shirt up to his chest, hands crawling down his toned torso dangerously.

JM: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK - Jimin nearly shouted and jumped off of Jungkook's lap so fast that he ended up falling painfully on the floor in a loud thud. Both Taehyung and Junkook froze on their spot, staring at him with surprised eyes. They really had forgotten all about their poor brother's presence - I can't believe you just made me witness that... I'm speechless! How could you, I... - Jimin stuttered, sighing heavily in complete disbelief while rubbing his forehead - You guys were seriously going to have sex with me right here?

TH/JK: NO! - they shouted together, looking extremely embarrassed at Jimin's remark.

TH: Jesus, Jimin, of course not, what... Oh my God , we are not like _that,_ okay? - the older rushed, completely mortified.

JK: We are not! - Jungkook joined but couldn't help but to give Taehyung a doubtful glance. Taehyung's face was burning hot out of embarrassment because he definitely were just about to unfasten Jungkook's belt. Completely out of words he just got up as fast as he could and ran directly to his room, leaving the other two standing there alone, confusion written all over their faces.

 

 

 

 


	13. Inevitable

 

When Taehyung reached the room he's been sharing with Namjoon since they moved to their new apartment, he leaned against the door and slid down sitting on the cold floor. His face was flushed and his heart was beating hard and fast in his rib cage. He'd never been so glad for the partition separating his and Namjoon's side of the room, for privacy has never been so needed as of now. It's only their first night together in the dorm even since he and Jungkook are together - still uncertain if together is the right word to use for their... relationship - and it was already getting troublesome. Taehyung had already been in small relationships before, but this was completely different; being with girls was the very opposite as being with a boy, and he is suddenly starting to realize it. While going out with girls, his main priority was being as respectful and sweet as possible, but with Jungkook it was all about who could be more of a devilish teasing jerk, trying to shatter each other's boundaries until the very end, and _shit_ , Taehyung was loving this damn game way more than he should. Being 20 and horny was an understatement, but this was beyond everything he ever expected; his entire body was boiling as if his skin were about to melt under the younger's fingerprints. Truth is, even tho he never had a long lasting relationship, he was not a virgin. There was this thing about being a boy raised in a patriarchal society, once boys reach their "mature" age, it was a tradition for their dads, uncles and/or grandparents to take them to... well, give their manhood a try-out. Losing their virginity to a prostitute was not every boy's dream, and Taehyung was one of those who dreamed of a romantic night with someone you truly loved and cherished, but to endure the burden of refusing that "gift" from the elders was not something he was willing to bear at the age of eighteen. He knew about sex, he knew how to make someone feel good, and he definitely knew how to make himself feel damn good... but thinking about making  _love_  with someone - with a  _boy_ , for fucks sake - was totally new and scary for him. Anyway, as far as he was concerned, Jungkook agreed on keep messing around, but sex was never mentioned, and just the tought of it was enough to make his face burn in complete self-embarassment. Kissing was risky, but it could be just a safe innocent game depending on the implicit intentions. Jungkook was still very much a virgin, which meant he and Taehyung were not on the same page. Being with another male was new for him too, but just the fact that he already had an intimate encounter with another human being was enough to put him in a different level, or so to speak, and Taehyung wondered if Jungkook thinks the same way, for both him and Jimin have heard all about his not-so-pleasant experience. 

 

Jimin and Jungkook were also back to the room they now shared (Jungkook had his own room, but he always ended up in Jimin's and Hoseok's claiming _my bed is a mess and I'm lazy to fix it_ ), Hoseok sleep and sound in his bed. Jungkook wandered around before turning to Jimin and staring at him thoughtfully, to which the older soon realized and managed to mouth him a "what".

 

JK: Do you think Taehyung would want to... y'know.

JM: Fuck? - Jimin questioned shamelessly, causing the younger's face to boil in embarrassment as his eyes widened double its size - What? Isn't it what you are asking me?

JK: Yeah, but... don't just say it like that - He then sat on the mattress set for him on the floor and refused to look back at Jimin, who sat right by his side.

JM: Kookie, listen: I don't know what kind of... agreement you two got into. I don't know if you talked it all through, or just went with the flow. Anyway, you are both adults, especially Taehyung. You can't simply expect adults to keep messing around like that, and just feel like kissing is enough, because it's not. Actually, by the color of your face right now you are certainly well aware of it. That's why I keep overreacting, because sex... sex it's not a simple thing, Jungkook, and I know I don't have to tell you this for you are old enough to know. Sex has the power to either make a relationship great or awful, and there's no in between.

JK: I see... But hyung, how can I... he is a man! 

JM: Well, kid, I guess that's what you signed up for. Either you get used to it, or you drop it - Jimin answered objectively, rubbing the younger's thigh in order to comfort him.

JK: I know... I still can't understand what's happening to me. I mean, I'm obviously attracted to him, but I don't know if it's to that extent. I'm scared, honestly. It's scary to think about actually doing it, and even more about its consequences. 

JM: But you don't have to do it, Jungkookie. It's up to you, really. I'm pretty sure Taehyung would understand, and if he doesn't, then I'll kick his ass until he does. But anyway, I believe you guys should talk about it. Openly - the younger opened his mouth to protest but Jimin stopped him - I know it's embarrassing, but it's not like you can pretend it's not a possibility. Plus, I'm sure you're gonna know when it's the right time to bring it up, so don't worry.

JK: But what if he's not really thinking about it? He's might think I'm a pervert! What if he thinks I'm weird? What if he feels grossed out? - Jungkook worried, causing Jimin to smile at his cuteness.

JM: I'm pretty sure he won't. Especially after what I witnessed today... 

JK: Okay, okay... Thank you, hyung. Seriously. You are the best - Jungkook thanked him with a sincere smile adorning his face.

JM: You bet I am! Give me a hug - Jimin said as he pulled the younger into a tight embrace - Cutie... why do I like you so much? 

 

 

 

 

 

NJ: Get up, Taehyung. We are late - Namjoon yelled as he threw a pillow at his roommate, trying to get him out of bed for the 4th time that morning.

TH: Hyuuuung, I'm sleepy - The younger mumbled, still refusing to get up.

NJ: No wonder! I heard you wandering around the entire night! If you are having an insomnia crisis at least try and keep it quiet, for fucks sake...

TH: I'm sorry, hyung. I was just... disturbed. Sorry - He apologized and sat on his bed.

NJ: Do you... need to talk or something? Is it something I can help you with?

TH: I wish, hyung, but not really. I don't think anyone can help me, actually - Taehyung blew out, rubbing his eyes aggressively. 

NJ: Well... I can try - Namjoon offered as he sat beside his young brother.

TH: Oh, hyung... I don't think you want to hear anything about this. Trust me on this - He tried to get up but before he could Namjoon pulled him by the wrist and forced him to stay put.

NJ: Is it about Jungkook? Did you guys have a fight? Something happened? I know it's weird, but you can talk to me, idiot. 

TH: Yes and no - he let out a deep breath, weighting his words in order not to shock Namjoon too much - We are fine, everything is fine. I'm just... having weird feelings? More like, impulses, actually. I... please understand it so I don't have to elaborate further - Taehyung finished almost in a whisper, not really looking at his hyung, who suddenly stiffened and opened his mouth a few times looking for something to say.

NJ: Oh. I see. Uh... yeah - he coughed and brought his hands together, clearly struggling to keep a straight face and actually being able to have this conversation - Is it, like, recent, or..?

TH: Yes. Like, one month or so? I seriously don't know what's happening to me, hyung. I wasn't like that before, and it's not like... it's not like he's... trying anything. It is just me and this fucked up brain of mine. I'm so embarrassed - Taehyung then laid down again, extremely tired and frustrated, covering his own head with his blanket.

NJ: Look... I guess it's just natural, y'know? I mean... you are a grown man, so... Just be careful. He is younger, and... well, he is pure.

TH: That's exactly why I'm going insane about it! Besides, he a _guy._ Honestly, hyung, what the fuck? Being attracted to a guy is not really new for me, but being _sexually_ attracted to a guy... that's... I'm going crazy.

NJ: Yeah, I think I can empathize... I mean, not with the sexual part, but yeah. I'm really sorry I can't be of much help. Just... I get how scary that must be. I really think you guys should talk it through, though. Maybe the hardest part about it is because you guys might have forgotten to... how do I say this... establish boundaries, perhaps? It's confusing when you don't really have an actual relationship status with someone else, because you just don't know how far that person is willing to compromise. Have you guys ever really talked it through or it just sort of happened?

TH: It did just sort of happened, but we definitely talked it through. I mean, we decided to just keep it friendly. I mean, it's not like we are a couple or anything like that. We are just... having fun, blowing some steam, or something like that.

NJ: Friends with benefits - he addressed and Taehyung nodded - Look, if that's all that it is... I don't think... - he took a deep breath and then scratched his head nervously before finishing his sentence - I don't really think giving up on his virginity for something that simple would do him any good. Well, you know exactly how it feels, right? I mean, don't you wish you could just turn back time and then do it with someone you actually loved instead? - Namjoon's words felt heavy in Taehyung's chest. Actually hearing out loud that whatever he and Jungkook have going on is totally unrelated to love just didn't feel right. He loved Jungkook. He really did. Perhaps not in a traditional romantic way, but he did. Why their love should be any different? Why there must be rules to love? Do they really need to have an actual traditional stupid ass relationship as a validation for their feelings? He would never do anything to hurt Jungkook, not physically, not emotionally. They were _best friends_  after all. Having sex with him would never be something so futile... _right? -_  Look, what I'm trying to say is for you to just make sure you are thinking with the right head before you do anything you will regret later, okay? Now let's go, we are really fucking late.

TH: Yeah... okay. Thank you, hyung. I will think it through, I promise. 

 

 

 

 

 

JH: So... They want us to do a special choreo for Blanket Kick for our Festa - Hoseok told the sweaty group lying on the studio floor right after he arrived from an individual meeting with their director.

NJ: What do you mean by special? A choreo is a choreo - Namjoon said already clearly irritated by how much their choreographs for their upcoming tour keeps getting harder and harder. After Dope he allowed himself to believe their frantic and aggressive ones were over with, for it would never get any worse than that, but now having the iconic Run as their next single to debut in November, he realized his dreams were far from becoming real. 

JH: It's just that they are considering doing something comical with this one, more on the fun and simple side for a change - he said as he joined them on the floor, letting the exhaustion take over his overworked body as well.

YG: With such cheesy lyrics, I wonder what they can come up with - Yoongi scoffed, visibly as done as Namjoon, considering being a dancer was never what he signed for when he auditioned for the company.

JH: Actually I kind of heard some brainstorming about it... They are intending of making us act the lyrics out, somehow. As in pairing us to act like couples - Hoseok let out cautiously, already expecting a very unwelcoming reaction from everyone.

JIN: They wanna make us what? - Jin yelled sitting up and giving Hoseok a very unpleased look.

JH: Uh... yeah. Apparently our fans kind of dig this kind of thing, like, skin ship between us, so they want us to do it as a gift for them - he tried to sound as casual as possible not to trigger anyone further

JIN: But this is weird. And also... I don't think feeding the fans imagination can do us any good, specially now that I feel like I'm constantly acting in a live action fanfiction because some of us decided it would be such a great fucking idea to suck each other faces! - Jin complained matter-of-factly, visibly disturbed and getting everyone's full attention. At his remark, Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok looked extremely uncomfortable and apologetic, but Yoongi only rolled his eyes and sighed.

YG: Why are you even overreacting? People have been pairing idols since fucking forever, that's the main reason most of them are into kpop in the first place. Every group has their fair share of ships and no one gives a fuck, because it's our job to entertain and give the fans what they want. We can do as we please, we can fucking rub on each other while naked on the damn stage and it will never come out as anything but fan service, because that's what idols do. Calm your tits, will you? - he stated in monotone, not even bothering to get up from his lying position.

JH: Yoongi hyung is right. As far as we are all concerned, to our fans TaeKook can be just as real as TaeJin, or VHope, or whatever the couple they come up with. At the end of the day they will always find a way to get we to fuck each other nonetheless, whether it make sense or not. 

YG: You bet they will. - Yoongi shouted reinforcing the idea.

JIN: Whatever. I'm not the one risking my ass on getting caught, anyway - the older gave up lying back down. 

TH: If Jin hyung worry that much about we acting obvious, the solution is pretty simple: all we gotta do is switch couples! 

JM: I agree. That would be less burdensome. It's not like you guys act obvious, it's just... eyes can't lie, okay, and our fans are not dumb. You think no one can see the glances you guys share? - Jimin said, finally deciding to give his two cents into the matter.

TH: What? We don't... There are no glances, man, you are delusional...

JIN: Jimin is right indeed. It's not even glancing anymore, you guys upgraded it to eye-fucking long ago. 

YG: Oh, hyung, I think you are sorely mistaken! That's not us! That's you and Namjoonie! - Yoongi shot back sarcastically, causing both Jin and Namjoon to blush aggressively.

NJ: Can we just fucking stop? Stupid ass discussion, let's just get back to work already! - Namjoon said putting an end to their quarrel, gaining a relieved sigh and a thumbs up from Jungkook - So, how it's going to work? We are the ones supposed to decide the pairs? We are seven, by the way, so how are we going to make it?

YG: I have the most lines, so I will be alone - he reasoned.

RM: Ok. Makes sense. So, what about the rest of us?

YG: I think we should give the fans what they want, by pairing up Taehyung and Jungkook, and you and Jin - Yoongi grinned - but, since it seems like it's already decided no one is comfortable with it, let's just make Taehyung and Jin, and you can be with Jungkook. Too weird to be real! And the cherry on the cake will be Jimin and Hope, since lots of fans believe they are something, anyway. Well, maybe they are. We might check the dancing studio more often... - Yoongi joked, successfully annoying both.

NJ: Ok, so... Any objections? - he asked, to which them all nodded negatively - Okay, so it's final.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As expected their Festa event was a success and the fans really did enjoy their performance. They were tired but still managed to save some energy for some private celebration back in their apartment. They ordered a fair amount of rice, vegetables, beef and seasoned chicken, together with some beers Namjoon pleaded for. It was about 1am when they managed to finish their gigantic meal and kept talking while finishing their remaining beer (just enough to get slightly tipsy).

 

YG: I told you the fans like this stuff. The gayer the better, I'm telling you. Times have changed, my man... - Yoongi stated victoriously

NJ: Truth. Have you heard their screams when Hope threw Jimin on the bed? What the fuck, man.

YG: Such familiarity trowing men in bed, Hobi. I confess I was surprised - he teased.

JH: Seriously? It must have been all the training I've been doing on you, hyung nim! - Hoseok teased back, sharply, getting screams from everyone around, and a sly grin from Yoongi.

JK: Please, spare us - Jungkook yelled with a disgusted expression.

JM: Like you are one to talk. Please, spare us as well, will you? - Jimin interfered, pointing a finger accusingly.

JK: I don't even know what are you talking about, Park Jimin shi - he answered, dropping the honorifics on purpose and getting slapped in return.

NJ: You don't? I lost count how many times I ran into you and Taehyung being gross in the past weeks! - Namjoon yelled back, mouth filled with beer, causing it to spill down his chin.

YG: Now that's truth! Can't you guys fucking control yourselves? What is it with all this skin ship, are you really that horny? Jesus, get a grip, or get a fucking room!

NJ: DON'T get a damn room, for fucks sake. Taehyung and I share one, remember? - he jumped in his own defeat

TH: Yeah, but there's a wall in between us, hyung... - Taehyung added blinking innocently

NJ: A very thin one, and I did nothing to deserve trying to rest while listening to fucking kissing noises. AGAIN - he added, scrunching his nose at the unpleasant memory.

JIN: Thank God Yoongi has never tortured me this way. Bro, I salute you - Jin thanked and lifted his glass at his roommate's direction.

YG: Well, that's why there's a very comfy couch in my studio - he grinned, earning disgusted noises from everyone, except from Jungkookie who laughed out loud at his hyung's shameless remark.

JH: Remind me to never sit on that shit again. 

YG: Well, that will be hard, considering you are its VIP guest, SeokSeok - Then again everyone protested, disgusted with the unnecessary information.

 

 

Hoseok and Yoongi rarely made out. Their weird relationship was truly very friendly. It sure has its benefits, but that's about it. No strings, no further feelings, for they have discussed and decided years ago that if there's no feelings, there's no damages, so its best to just play safe. On the other hand, Jungkook and Taehyung have been doing the exact opposite of that. Their relationship was growing stronger by the minute, and neither of them seem to have noticed. They would spend every minute of their days together, always side by side like a body and its shadow, and even on breaks they would go out or stay in the apartment together. Suddenly, they started getting jealous over each other, sulking or simply walking away whenever one of them displayed affection towards random people, like friends from other groups. They would also always crave each other's attention, being embarrassingly obvious about it whenever the other would be doing something alone or with another member.  Their stare game were also a bummer, for even during interviews they simply could not keep their eyes or hands off of each other, to a point Namjoon would start interfering by making sure they were far away from each other during public appearances. The fans also grew stronger with their shipping, and would notice every little thing that could "prove" TaeKook relationship was real, and that wasn't helping the two of them in keeping it a secret, for even random people like staff, or even other celebrities would be gossiping about it whenever they spotted them together. 

During their promotions for Run, it was evident that the company was trying to take advantage of the couple's popularity, and would try and pair them up for everything, just like happened to many other "ships" from other groups and companies, such as Jung Yunho and Kim Jaejoong back in the days they were together as DBSK and YunJae couple rumor was one of the hottest issues in the kpop industry. The company remained clueless about the reality behind the younger's actions, for they have always been clingy around each other since their trainee times, so they decided to look pass it and just believe their hardships and similar playful and childish personalities have brought them even closer. On the other hand, the members would constantly worry about someone getting way too suspicious and stalking them until eventually finding everything out. Jimin, being his usual precious self, decided to offer a little help by intensifying his flirting habits towards the youngers in order to make the fans lose their focus on the couple, bringing down the TaeKook hype and having it replaced by stronger VMin and JiKook "theories" (or even VKookMin for the ones unable to chose). Even NamJin started to "sail", not to mention Sope that never really left the picture. They would do everything to protect the younger's secret, not only from the world, but specially from their managers, and whenever one of them would question their actions with guilty feelings, they would simply answer _"_ that's what family is for _"_.

 


	14. Intimate contact

 

"awake?" - Jungkook's cellphone vibrated in his lap. It was actually Taehyung's first private contact with him in a whole week. Even since... _that_ happened they surprisingly got very much awkward around each other, specially after Jungkook deliberately started exchanging messages with some girl from his school. He might have confessed once that there was this one girl hitting on him since second year, but he never showed any interest or whatsoever until he found out she was a trainee. Maybe he felt empathetic at first, and just decided to talk to her like any sunbae would in his position (they strangely got paired up for this school project, which was very weird considering they are from different classes; turned out she was the principal's niece and asked him to pair them up, but Jungkook politely pretended not to know it). She happened to be a very charming girl, not to mention pretty, so they inevitably grew closer enough to share phone numbers and talk regularly through it. Taehyung had his fair share of female contacts as well, and kept in touch with at least 3 of them, responding regularly to their not so subtle flirting and crave for attention, but the difference was obvious enough: the women Taehyung kept in touch with were also idols, with a tight schedule, rigid contracts, and very strict managers, which meant their chit chat could never escalate to anything beside a silly flirting game. On the other hand, Jungkook's _friend_ was still just a trainee, who had no schedules or managers or contracts stopping her to date whoever she wanted, including Jeon Jungkook BTS's golden maknae.

Taehyung should not care, after all, he and Jungkook were **just** friends, or so they kept telling themselves that, so he cared. A lot. He cared enough to be giving him the cold shoulder for over a week, when the first thing the younger did as soon as they arrived at their dorm after a celebratory dinner for their last successful concert at Seoul Olympic Park (November 29th) was drunk-text the so called girl to ask her if she attended it and if he did well. Still, he should not care, right? But yet, he did. 

 

[pov]

 

**2015, July 31. BTS Live Trilogy Episode II: The Red Bullet in São Paulo, Brazil.**

 

It was the first time in ages since Taehyung and Jungkook got to share a room. Whenever they were together there would be way too much noise, which was totally inconvenient for anyone in their apartment, not to mention hotel rooms with strict silence rules. This  particular day there would be this Overwatch special event starting at 12am in Korea, which was around 11pm in Brazil, so after too much insistence and promises to not to be as loud as usual, Sejin manager gave in and decided to let them stay together for the night so they could play it freely without bothering the other members. While preparing for their all night gaming, Jungkook decided to take a bath and Taehyung insisted on joining him like he did many times before (not only with him, but with Hoseok and Jimin as well) being his clingy self. But, to his surprise, this time the younger refused him, blushing heavily and saying they were "way too old for this". Once Jungkook finished his bath he came back to the room only to find a sulking Taehyung lying down on the bed.

JK: What's with the poop face? - he asked and threw his wet towel at the older.

TH: Why you wouldn't let me join you? - Taehyung asked, pouting like a child.

JK: Tae, come on! We can't do this anymore. Just... no - Jungkook answered with a laugh, sitting next to the older and punching him slightly on his arm.

TH: Is it... do you feel weird now? Y'know, because we are... y'know. 

JK: Yeah... it is. Sorry, I just... I don't think I can separate such things anymore. It's too much - The younger answered sincerely. Taehyung also knew that being naked around Jungkook would have a whole new meaning right now, and that's why he just wanted to do it so much. He wanted to do it to "test the water", just curious to find out how much of an impact it could have on them. He would be reminded of Namjoon's words constantly, about how careful he should be not to trigger the still innocent maknae, and about not letting his hormones fool him into thinking they were ready for anything sexual. At that very moment he realized that the younger clearly wasn't.

TH: I get it. It's okay, don't worry. Come here - he opened his arms and took the younger in a hug - It is confusing for me too. Sometimes I just feel like I no longer know where we stand at. I constantly have these thoughts, like, "is it okay if I do this or that?". Everything suddenly have this whole new meaning and I honestly don't know how to act about it. But... I also have this moments where I just kind of wish to find it out... - he blew out while holding the younger firmly in his chest.

JK: I know exactly what you mean... Specially when we are around the guys, y'know? I'm always like, trying not to do anything they might think it's weird. Before, we could just play around freely, but now it seems like everything we do is burdensome for them. I feel like they are always watching us, as if they don't believe we can act friendly around each other anymore. It's kind of creepy, actually.

TH: I felt that too. Especially with Namjoon hyung. But that might just be my fault, after all... - he trailed off and noticed JK's confused expression - a little while ago I kind of opened up to him about some feelings I've been having lately...

JK: What is it? - he questioned innocently, to which Taehyung sighed heavily and massaged his temples as if wondering if it was a good idea to bring it up. Unable to voice his thoughts, he then made the decision to show him instead.

 

Taehyung held JK's shoulders and pinned him down on the mattress in a swift movement. The younger's eyes grew wide, but before he could bring himself to protest Taehyung sealed his lips in a rough kiss, earning a surprised gasp from the other as his entire body tensed. Taehyung slid his hands to the younger's face caressing his cheeks reassuringly as he sucked on his plump bottom lip, pulling on it for access and licking inside Jungkook's mouth hungrily, earning a muffled groan in response, which send sparks all over his spine. They kept kissing until both of them were reduced to a panting mess, so Taehyung took the opportunity and made the bold decision to move JK's legs to his sides in order to fit right in the middle, straddling him into the mattress while his mouth worked on his neck. It took one very sinful noise to leave JK's lips as soon as Taehyung took a full bite at the sensitive spot right beside his ear, for their hips to start moving instinctively, both proceeding to grind on each other, already half hard and losing their minds at the delicious friction. Nothing could have prepared them for that whole new feeling, and they proceeded to rub shamelessly on each other, now painfully fully hard inside their pants, kissing their loud moans back inside their throats. Just a little while later Jungkook took a strong grip on Taehyung's shoulder to hold him in place, arching his back in a very sensual way, exposing his long and sweat neck and noisily released himself inside his boxers. The sinful sight was enough to bring Taehyung to his climax as well, panting heavily, fingers digging hard in the younger's trembling thighs.

After a few minutes recovering from their post orgasm shock, Taehyung finally got off Jungkook and dropped heavily by his side with his eyes shut tight. In the morning Jungkook was the first one to wake up and find a sleeping Taehyung right next to him. It took him a while to finally come to his senses and remember what had happened between them, and so he blushed aggressively before getting up quickly and heading straight to the bathroom in order to get rid of his wrecked underwear. Luckily, Taehyung was a heavy sleeper, so JungKook was able to leave the room without being noticed. Later that day when they met at the hotel lobby to check out, they only exchanged a quick awkward glance. Neither of them dared to comment on that night's events, realizing it was for the best to just pretend it never really happened.

 

**2015, Aug 29. BTS Live Trilogy Episode II: The Red Bullet in Hong Kong.**

 

It started the same as the last time: an innocent sleep over in order to play games. After that heated night both tried to cool things off a little, avoiding make out sessions, trying to stick with hugs and chaste kisses for the time being, and relying on the member's constant company for "safety ensurance". It was a little fight over whose turn it was to play that set a long hidden spark of fire thru their bodies. 

While picking up and dragging Taehyung away from the computer in his particular style, Jungkook stumbled in a shoe causing them both to fall painfully on the floor. Between laughs and groans of pain, he sealed their lips playfully, tickling his hyung to annoy him further. Eventually all that tickling and sucking of lips turned into a shirtless, hot and wet make out session, and neither of them was sure of who took the initiative to lose his shirt first. Being that intimate was a first for both of them, and holding onto each other's aroused sweaty skin while battling their tongues for dominance drove all their senses away, so eventually they found themselves once again coming undone all over each other, moaning and panting out loud against the hotel's thin walls.

 

TH: Well, that was... 

JK: Awesome - he completed the order's sentence, still in his post orgasm bliss. 

TH: Kookie... Let's not avoid each other anymore. It's pointless - Taehyung said and reached out for the younger's hand intertwining their fingers softly - Right or wrong... honestly, I don't think I will ever regret whatever happens between us. I'm way pass that stage, now. 

JK: Me too... - He let out almost in a whisper, chest going up and down, a lonely drop of sweat running down his temple - Taehyung... let's not overthinking it anymore - he then lied on his sides to look into Taehyung's eyes - Whatever happens... let's just take responsibility for it like men. 

TH: Yeah... - He said smiling softly - I guess that's what we signed for, anyway - and at that they shared a warm laugh, until Taehyung punched Jungkook playfully and sat up - Get up, brat. Let's wash ourselves and play. 

 

 

**2015, Nov 28. The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: On Stage in Seoul.**

 

TH: Kookie... I want to try something - he whispered as the younger sucked a bright red hickey on his collar bones, digging his nails on his exposed chest. 

JK: What is it? - the younger asked while drawing a trail up the older's neck with the tip of his tongue, warning a sinful moan in return. 

TH: Lay down. Let me... Just lay down, ok? - he managed to say in a weak but desperate husky voice, eyes narrowed and cheeks burning hot. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol in his veins or just the post concert hype, but the first thing he did when they arrived at their apartment was drag Jungkook to the room he shared with Jimin and Hoseok and lock them both out, successfully ignoring their opposing yells and violent warnings. Eventually after lots of kicks and punches at the poor door they gave up, and ended up taking solace in SIN's room, to which Hoseok had to share a bed with a very welcoming Seokjin and Jimin with a not very welcoming Yoongi. 

JK: Okay - Jungkook then lied back on his bed a little taken aback by his hyung's demand. As soon as he did, he took a glimpse at the other's hungry eyes scanning his exposed torso, while seductively biting his own lips. He tried opening his mouth to say something but Taehyung blocked his words with a harsh open mouthed kiss, breaking them up just a few seconds later and whispering in JK's ear: "let hyung take care of you. I want to make you feel real good". Just this words alone was enough to make Jungkook rock hard on his pants, panting heavily, until a hoarse cry abandoned his parted lips when he felt long fingers caressing his crotch. "Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?" reassured a totally aroused Taehyung, already working on sliding Jeon's tight pants down to his knees - Taehyung... are you sure? - he asked weakly, face hot and red out of complete embarrassment and desire. "Question here is: are you?", came the quick response. Before he could even think of a proper answer, Taehyung slid his big hand inside his boxers and took a strong grip at his already leaking member. For a second he felt as if the floor opened up and swallowed him whole, and as Taehyung started working on his length, pumping up and down, slowly but firmly, all doubts that ever crossed his mind disappeared and he knew at that very moment that his hyung's touch was something he have been shamelessly craving for way longer than he was willing to admit. "Jesus, Kookie, you are so fucking wet" he mumbled as he watched the younger moaning hoarsely, just as hard and wet in his tight pants. "If I knew you would feel so damn good in my hands I would have lost control long ago" he breathed out earning an even louder moan from the latter. - I'm... c-c-close - was all he managed to say, and with that Taehyung took his own pants off as well and started stroking his neglected member hard and precisely, trying to keep the pace with his both hands. Not even a minute later both reached their climax together, exploding in the older's big and soft hands and letting out loud sinful cries that echoed through the entire apartment. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering: yes, those are actual legit dates. And yes, Jungkook was such an idiot for texting this girl just one day after Taehyung gave him his first hand-job. But don't hate on him! Well, not yet (lmao)


	15. Turning point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe you can't accept her in your heart because it is already taken, Jeongguk"

 

 

TH: Hyung... may I talk to you for a minute? - Taehyung came to Hoseok who was sitting in the living room reading something that looked like a flyer from a store.

JH: Yeah, sure. Something is wrong? - the older asked, pursing his lips in a worried expression.

TH: Yes, actually. I'm not sure who to talk to, but I think you are my best option right now - he said honestly, chewing on his cheeks and looking at his feet.

JH: Do you need some privacy? We can go to my room - Hoseok offered already getting up from his seat.

TH: But... You kind of share a room with the subject, so... 

JH: Oooh... I see. Jungkookie... Delicate subject. Uh... let's just go to yours, then. NamJoonie is not home, anyway - Hoseok suggested already making his way towards R&V room.

TH: So... - he started once they sat on his bed - As you are all aware... Jungkookie and I, we... started getting more intimate lately - The younger then trailed off nervously, red spreading all over his cheeks and ears.

JH: Yeah, I guess we all have pretty good ears. - The older retorted sarcastically, recalling the recent night in which they all had to try and sleep through the younger's baffled moans.

TH: Yeah... sorry about that... for the 10th time - he chuckled - Anyway, so there's this. Uh... sorry for asking, but... have you and Yoongi hyung ever... y'know, done anything like this before? - he questioned cautiously, worrying about intruding his hyung's privacy.

JH: Hyung and I? Oh, no. Definitely not! I mean... intimacy complicate things. Also... we truly are just friends. Actually, I still don't really understand why we mess around... it doesn't fit us at all - he stated humorlessly. It was true, though - I mean, it's not like I don't find men cute, but I really like girls. And hyung... he really likes... stuff. What does he even likes, anyway? - Hoseok then snorted. Yoongi really was hard to read. He never let out any sexual preference or whatsoever, he doesn't even talk about women at all, unless you ask him about it (or men, for what's worth).

TH: I guess he is hope-sexual, hyung. - the younger joked, causing Hoseok to let out his characteristic loud laugh - But seriously, are you frankly telling me that you guys never did anything beside kissing? - the younger pressed.

JH: Not really... I mean... - he mumbled, scratching his nape nervously, earning an annoyed glance from the other.

TH: Hyung, are you seriously gonna play shy with me? Of all people? You fucking heard me doing shit with Jungkook for fucks sake, what can be any weirder than this? - Taehyung stated matter-of-factly.

JH: Point taken - he agreed tilting his head cutely - Anyway, that's all we do, really. I mean, sometimes... you know when you kind of get carried away, and... the position is kinda convenient, so... 

TH:... you grind on each other until you come in your pants and feel like jumping off a cliff afterwards? Yes, I get it - the younger completed Hoseok's sentence, saving him from further embarrassment - Actually, that's how it starts. In case you don't want to go any further than this, I'm seriously warning you to stop it. I mean, I never thought I would end up jerking Jungkook off but that jus..

JH: FOR FUCKS SAKE, TAEHYUNG. Oh, God, I'm never sleeping again. - he yelled interrupting the younger and smacking his own head against the wall trying to erase the unwanted images forming in his mind. - Actually I think I should be glad now that I know _this_ was all that happened that night in my goddamn room. We seriously thought you guys... were... well, _doing it_ for real. That was a very disturbing night, and I swear to God if you perverts ever put us up to something like that again, we are kicking you both the fuck out! - the older yelled again, eyes twice their usual size. 

TH: Hyung, you guys seriously believed we were fucking? For real? - he laughed out loud in amusement, annoying Hoseok further.

JH: Of course we did! Remember how in the morning the guys wouldn't even leave their rooms so they wouldn't have to face you two? They were so shocked, I had to drag them out for the schedule!! - Hoseok kept stressing, his eyes growing even bigger like it was about to pop out of his skull.

TH: It would be so much easier to just ask, don't you think? Yall avoided us the entire week! - he accused, defending himself.

JH: How do you even expect any of us to come at you and ask "so have you guys been fucking already? was it good? who tops?". That's not a conversation that just comes naturally, you know? And we are not avoiding you, it's just... we don't know how to approach you anymore, specially since you are always together. Back then we wouldn't really mind that much about running into you kissing or whatever, but after that night God knows what we could witness! - Hoseok then confessed in an apologetic tone, finally calming down.

TH: Can we just get over it already, please? By the way: no, we are not fucking. Our precious maknae is still very much pure, okay? But that's not even the point here. That's not what I wanted to talk to you about. - he finished, intending to change the subject once for all.

JH: Wait! Who even said Jungkook is pure, anyway? - the other retorted, pursing his lips in confusion.

TH: Well, who said he isn't? - casually rolling his eyes, because what the fuck Hoseok was even talking about?

JH: What do you mean, Taehyung? He is dating that girl from his school, they even finally slept together on Sunday and he wouldn't shut up about it on monday! Remember? - Hoseok inquired staring down at Taehyung as if he was retarded or something, but Taehyung just remained still, his lips falling into a thin line, eyes clearly confused.

TH: He... Jungkook... he what? - the younger finally managed to ask, voice weak and shaky, and by the look on his face Hoseok finally realized what he just did.

JH: You... you didn't knew about it. Fuck!- he panicked _-_ Listen, Taehyung, I honestly thought you knew, okay? I mean, you are best friends, right? How in the fuck I would have guessed he... he would keep this from you. Goddammit, I... shit. I'm so sorry. - he pleaded as he took the younger's hands into his. 

TH: It's... Uh... It's okay, hyung. - he cleared his throat trying to turn his whispers into convincing words - He was probably gonna tell me sometime. Don't worry about it. It's not like I even care, anyway, I mean, we are friends... just friends. - he lied, even though Hoseok clearly wouldn't buy it after his reaction - Anyway, I just remembered I have something to do, so let's talk some other time, okay? - he finished, glancing at the door as Hoseok took the hint and left apologizing again.

 

To say Taehyung was feeling like a complete idiot was an understatement. He was about to tell Hoseok about his feelings towards Jungkook, and turned out Jungkook had a girlfriend he never even mentioned about, and he dead ass slept with her? He has lost his virginity to this someone two days after Taehyung jerked him off in his damn bed and he didn't even bothered to tell him about it? He never felt so damn betrayed and all he wanted was to confront him about it all and put an end to whatever they had (or whatever he thought they had).

They haven't really talked much since that night, but it was not coincidental; Taehyung was avoiding him because he just couldn't hold back his feelings any longer, and whenever he was closer to the younger his entire body would ache and crave for the boy enough to scare the fuck out of him. It felt like that night was the closure he needed to finally embrace this love that kept growing inside of him like a parasite, washing away all reason, silencing his senses that kept telling him to run... but yet he didn't... and now he regretted it more than anything, for his chest was aching and burning just like the warm tears that washed down his face angrily.

 

JK: Taehyung? What... are you crying? Taehyung, why are you crying? - the younger opened the door and approached him carefully, siting beside him and tangling his strong arms around the older's thin waist, honest concern stamped over his face. 

TH: What are you doing here? - Taehyung asked sharply. Jungkook was the last person he expected or needed to see in that very moment.

JK: I ran into Hobi hyung outside and he told me to come and talk to you... I didn't expect to find you like this, though. What happened? - the younger inquired again, same concern clouding his pretty eyes.

TH: What happened, Jungkook? That's a great ass question, isn't it? What the fuck happened, I wonder? - he snorted sarcastically, startling the younger beside him as he got up abruptly from his embrace.

JK: Hyung... I don't... What's wrong? You are seriously scaring me. 

TH: Ahh, Jungkookie... my innocent Jungkookie... You really are so fucking clueless at all times, aren't you? Or maybe you are just pretending to be, huh? It wouldn't be the first time, though. Yeah, just like you pretend to be such a great and pure little kid, right? I wonder... who you learned it from? Was it your girlfriend? I bet lying isn't the only thing she's been teaching you. - Taehyung snapped, finally turning to glare at the younger, rage and tears in his eyes.

JK: Wait. First of all: how do you even know about it? And second: that's what this is all about? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Taehyung? - he got up too to face the older in the same level, just as angry.

TH: You see, like we are both well aware by now, the walls in here... oh, those walls have ears, don't they? Such thin walls, anything can keep hidden long enough in here, I guess. - he covered up for Hoseok - Anyway, does it matter how I know about it? What, are you seriously trying to make me the bad guy here?

JK: I'm not trying anything, okay? I'm just wondering, since I never fucking told you about it in the first place! And by the looks of it, I guess it was a wise decision after all. Why are you even overreacting? Are you fucking mad? - Jungkook finally raised his voice, anger taking over his entire body.

TH: Why am I over... Oh my God, you really are unbelievable, aren't you? For how long are you even hiding shit from me, anyway? Am I really that pitiful for you? I was just a fucking toy for you all this time. Something to keep you distracted while your beloved girlfriend wasn't ready to open her damn legs for you! - Taehyung shouted, the feeling of betrayal written all over his face.

JK: Taehyung, are you fucking listening to yourself right now? How dare you think so damn low of me? A toy? Seriously? How come you are a damn toy for me when you are the one who always start things between us? - Jungkook looked deeply hurt by his words at this point - Besides, you don't even like me like that! You said it yourself, that we can't ever be more than just friends, so why are you behaving like that, Taehyung? Why are you trying to ruin everything? - his voice kept growing louder and louder until he was practically yelling - What, did you really expected me to just sit and remain alone until you got sick of fooling around with me and decided to find yourself another damn girlfriend and forget all about me again? - at this point he started crying, sobbing between all the words he kept hidden during all this time - Yeah, that's such a great plan, Taehyung! - he finished, whipping his tears aggressively, still holding eye contact.

TH: I... Have you been hurt about it this whole time? How come you never even mentioned it before? - now it was Taehyung who looked totally confused, shaking his head in disbelief.

JK: Yeah, right, I could simply just come at my best friend like a goddamn girl, crying my eyes out of jealousy. That would make a lot of sense, for sure. - he shot back

TH: Yes, Jungkook. That's exactly what you should have done. Maybe if I fucking knew that you were jealous of me... - he turned around to recollect himself, sighing in deeply frustration - Jungkook... do you like me? - The older finally asked, not seeing any point in holding back any feeling or word any longer.

JK: Does it matter? - Jeonguuk answered sharply, eyes still wet.

TH: Yeah... you are right. It doesn't. Well, not anymore. I guess it was for the best, anyway. We are just friends. That's all we are, all we'll ever be. Besides, now that you got all your shit figured out... Now that you even found yourself a girlfriend... I guess you won't be needing "my services" anymore - Taehyung retorted just as sharply, eyes disposed of any emotions.

JK: Taehyung... Please, don't be like that - the younger pleaded weakly.

TH: I'm being like nothing, okay? That's just how it is! Now, if you excuse me, I want to be alone - he finally looked away, turning his back at the other.

JK: So that's how shit is going to be? - silence - Fine. Just don't regret it later. - he said already by the door, slamming it on his way out.

 

 

 

 

The following days dragged painfully, as both Jungkook and Taehyung ceased to find any sort of small pleasure in all the things concerning their routine. From the very beginning their friendship felt like a wonderland, beautifully created by their innocent childish minds in order to shield them from the ugliness of the entertainment world. It was there, in this tiny colorful bubble, that they would find solace even in the darkest of moments, and now, being deprived from it suddenly brought back that inner scared children who craved for their blanket in order to maintain their reminiscent sanity. Everything felt dull, cold and tasteless. Their colorful world turned into a plain shade of black and white, and none of them knew exactly how to bring the colors back to it without causing a bigger unwanted commotion, especially considering neither of them was willing to be the first one to give up their pride and try to step out of this misery. Silence was the only option available for now. 

 

JH: Don't you think this is too much? Honestly, it's been almost a month - Hoseok stated in deep concern, lying flat against his stomach at the studio's floor.

JK: And what exactly do you expect me to do? - he answered rudely, clearly sick about everyone pressuring him to, somehow, miraculously find a solution for it.

JH: I don't know, just... something, anything for fucks sake. You caused it, now you fix it! Can't you see how much you are hurting us all with this bullshit you both have going on? Do you guys really think that it only affects you two? - he said getting up and sitting, ready to lose his temper with the younger.

JK: Well, I don't fucking see how me fighting my goddamn best friend can affect you all the way it fucking affects me! - he shouted, red eyes and veins jumping on his neck. 

JH: Oh, you don't? Then let me start giving a few examples: first: we can't have a freaking meal together, because you both won't stay in the same damn room more than the necessary; second: we can't sit and discuss anything related to the team, because you both won't stop bickering and rolling your eyes at each other all the damn time like prep kids; third: our yesterday's attempt to have a group photo shoot SUCKED because you both couldn't control you faces; fourth: we are sick and tired of having to tip toe around the both of you, so things won't get any worse; fifth: during our choreo rehearsals, whenever you must interact with each other, you ruin it. Now do you think it's fair for we all to rehearse the same damn song ten times over just because you, little princesses, won't get your shit together and be at least more professional about it? You see, those are just basics, I seriously can go on and on, do you need me to? - Hoseok snapped, which was totally uncommon of him, but he just couldn't hold it back any longer. He was about to shot a few more things in Jungkook's face, but then he noticed a lonely tear running down his cheek and just couldn't press him any further. Even while angry, Hoseok was still too damn soft for his own good. He scorched closer and laid his hands on Jungkook's shoulder. - Jungkook, listen: I understand it must be hard on you, but you must understand that it's hard on us too! From the very beginning we talked you guys through it, we told you things could get messy, but you promised you could handle it. You kept giving the "just friends" speech whenever we brought that up, you even have a damn girlfriend for fucks sake, so what's all this about? Honestly, help me so I can help you!

JK: I... I don't even have a girlfriend anymore, hyung. We broke up three days ago - he stated calmly, eyes wet and still fixed on the floor.

JH: Wait, what? What do you mean you broke up? What happened? Why didn't you tell me? - he inquired surprised.

JK: We... I don't know, it just wasn't working. It was fun at first, but then... I don't know, it got boring? I just... every time we were together I kind of felt like I was pretending, like I wasn't really feeling anything, and I guess she noticed it. Next thing I knew she asked me if I loved her, just like that, out of the blue. I mean, we do know each other for a long time, but love? Honestly... that's just insane! - he explained, still surprisingly unamused. 

JH: So what did you do? 

JK: I couldn't lie, but... I couldn't just say the truth either, so I just... I just remained silent. She started crying, and I just didn't knew what to do, so... I left - he said, finally looking up as if looking for judgment in his hyung's eyes, but all the found there was empathy. - I walked away, and then later I texted her and said it was for the best if we didn't see each other for a while.

JH: I assume she got really pissed... - even though he wanted to yell at Jungkook for breaking up with a girl through a text, he didn't. The boy clearly had enough shit to deal with - but what about you? How are you feeling? I mean, you were the one that broke up, but still... it's always frustrating.

JK: I don't know, honestly. Of course I'm not happy about it, I really liked her. But still, I kind of feel some sort of... relief? Although I'm really frustrated, I mean, she is great, she is funny, she has a great personality... just... why? Why I can't love her back? 

Hoseok knew he shouldn't go there. He definitely shouldn't. But yet... he couldn't just pretend he didn't knew exactly what was wrong with his dongsaeng. He wasn't sure where things would go from here, but he knew it couldn't get any worse... or at least that's what he hoped for. Anyway, the younger was staring at him with such pitiful eyes, that he just had to tell him, he had to show him what - or who - was his real issue.

JH: Maybe you can't accept her in your heart because it is already taken, Jeongguk - and there he said it. He watched carefully as the younger's expressions softened instantaneously, as if realization finally hit him. Even though his face looked serene, his fists were clenched in a tight grip, as if there was still some part of him trying to fight the truth. 

JK: It doesn't matter - He let out nodding his head in fast motions - I can't. **We** can't. - he finished. 

JH: Good luck trying to convince your heart of it, kid.

 

And just like that Jungkook realized things would never be the same.

 

Ever again.

 

 

 

 

 

 _Hyung, where are you? -_ Jimin's phone vibrated on his lap.

 

_Is Taehyung with you?_

 

_Stop ignoring me... I know you saw my texts._

 

_I need you to help me... to talk to him_

 

**_Well, you have my attention_ **

 

_Idiot. You are so fucking biased, I will kick you someday._

 

_**Learn how to be as lovely as him and maybe I can love the same. Brat.** _

 

_**And yes, I'm with him. Although, I don't think he wants to talk to you. He is still very much pissed...** _

 

_Yeah, I know. Just... I need some alone time with him._

 

_I want to make things right._

 

_**Come to our room. Text me when you are at the door.** _

 

_I'm here._

 

JM: Tae Tae, something just came up! Hobi hyung is calling me to help him with something at the studio. I'll be right back, can you wait for me here? I need to show you something. - Jimin lied easily. 

TH: Uh... okay, sure. Just... I'll be waiting for you in my room instead. I don't want to... you know, Jungkook might show up, it's his room too.  

JM: It's fine, he's not back yet. Just... stay here, okay? - at this point Taehyung would have sensed something was off, but luckily he was just too tired to think so he just nodded and laid back down while Jimin made his way out. As soon as he got to the door, Jungkook was already sweating nervously, not knowing if Taehyung would listen to him or punch him. Either way he was going to finish whatever he needed to say, and hope for the best.

 

As soon as Jimin left, the door opened again, startling Taehyung.

TH: Forgot somet... - he looked at the door expecting to find Jimin again, but it was Jungkook, standing there silently and looking at him with big bright eyes like a scared cat - Oh. I'm sorry, I was just waiting for Jimin, but I'll take my leave. - Taehyung said without looking at the younger's face, getting up and gathering his things as quickly as possible.

JK: Don't - he said subtly, startling the older who glanced at him with confusion in his eyes - Don't go. You don't have to. And... I don't want you to. Can we talk?

TH: I... I don't know... - he was still too surprised to answer properly, so he just kept looking at Jungkook for any sign of hostility, to which he was getting used to by this point, but there was none, and he just kept staring at him with a strange determination - what do you want?

JK: Can you sit? It's... I need a little more than a second, actually... - the older remained motionless, staring down at him apathetically - ... Please? - he sighed and then finally sat back on Jimin's bed, as Jungkook made his way to Hoseok's bed, so they were standing face to face.

TH: So? I'm listening.

JK: Before I start, I need you to promise not to interrupt me. I know I'm not in the place to make demands, but this is not easy for me, and I'm not sure how you are going to take it either, so... Let me just get it over it already. - despite Taehyung's annoyed face, he just nodded and crossed his arms over his chest as if not letting his guard entirely down. - First of all, I... I want to apologize for hiding my relationship from you. I couldn't see it back then, but now... I get it, and I was wrong. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to tell you, so yeah, I have hidden it from you on purpose, because I didn't want you to know. I knew that you would distance yourself from me, so I was selfish and ended up playing you both. - Taehyung's expression softened, as he kept listening closely to what Jungkook had to say - Also, because I don't plan on hiding anything from you anymore, I must tell you that we are done. Sun Hee and I. We broke up. Well, I broke up with her - Taehyung was trying really hard to keep his cool, but Jungkook noticed the older swallowing hard at that, tilting his head a few times (a habit he got from the younger). - At first, I wasn't sure about why I just couldn't make things work with her, but then I talked to Hobi hyung, and... well, he just confirmed what I already suspected... I can't date her because I'm in love with someone else.

 

Even though Jungkook asked Taehyung not to say anything, his silence was disturbing. Jungkook stopped talking and looked away from Taehyung, staring at a white Teddy bear standing in the corner as if begging him for some moral support. His hands were sweaty, his face felt warm and numb, and the air around him was just so thick he suddenly forgot how to breathe. When he finally managed to look at Taehyung, the older was still staring at him, but instead of confusion, his eyes seemed... angry. 

 

TH: I don't know what do you expect me to do with this information! Honestly, I don't even know why you thought I was interested in knowing anything about it! Whoever you love, it doesn't concern me. I don't care. Just go and confess, so you can get laid again and be happy ever after. It's not like anyone would ever refuse you, anyway. - he stated angrily before getting up and proceeding to grab his things to leave once for all.

 

Now it was Jungkook's turn to get completely confused. He looked at Taehyung and tried to understand what the hell the other was talking about. Only after a few seconds of a very embarrassing silence, he finally figured it out, and could not hold a laugh that fought its way through his lips. Jungkook's reaction seemed to annoy the older even further, who was now walking fast towards the door. _You really are dense, Kim Taehyung,_ he thought before following the other and catching him by his wrists before he could leave the room.

 

JK: So your advice is for me to confess my feelings for the one that I love? - he asked mischievously

TH: Let me go, Jungkook! - he shouted as he managed to free himself from the younger's grip - Why do you even care what I think? Just do whatever you want and leave me alone. 

JK: Well, I already did it. I already confessed. Not exactly, but I think it should count - he proceeded, still very much amused at how clueless Taehyung could be sometimes.

TH: Yeah? So what? She refused you? That's why you are bothering me? 

JK: Well, it's a he, actually. And no, he didn't answer me yet because he is very much busy yelling at me right now - at this Taehyung's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He tried to say something but he just couldn't. He just stared at the younger who was now laughing at him. Was it a joke? Jungkook really meant it? As as if he could read Taehyung's mind, he clarified right away. - I love _you_ , you clueless idiot.

TH: W-what? - he just stood there, shocked, mouth agape and trembling hands, still trying to process what the younger just said.

JK: Well, that's not a very bad answer, but I still think a kiss would be better - he said as he started to close the distance between them, moving his hands up to cup Taehyung's flushed cheeks. He stared into the older's big beautiful eyes and found right there all the answers he needed: it was him. It was Taehyung all along. It was his eyes he missed, it was his lips he craved, it was his touch he desired. When he finally closed his eyes and leaned in to claim those lips he missed so badly, he found nothing. He then opened his eyes and saw Taehyung walking backwards, moving away from him - Taehyung?

TH: I... I need a moment. - he said in a whisper and left, slamming the door on his way out. 

 

 

 


	16. Nothing like us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No limit in the sky that I won't fly for ya  
> No amount of tears in my eyes that I won't cry for ya"

 

_Know you love me, boy, so that I love you_

 

 

Taehyung went straight to his room and stood there, breathing heavily, in complete shock. Jungkook just said he loved him. **Love.** For so long he had battled himself over and over, struggling to fin out the real meaning of this four letter word, struggling to find a connection between it and his feelings towards his younger brother, struggling to keep it hidden enough from the world, struggling to make it go. Even since that kiss, that first mind-blowing kiss they shared, things never felt the same, and he fought day after day to control the turmoil of feelings that kept rising from the pit of his stomach to his last strand of hair every time they were together... until he finally managed to. Of course it didn't last long, tho, and just like the first time it only took one kiss to bring it all back, full force. From the first time their lips touched Taehyung knew nothing could ever compare to that thrilling feeling, and as things started heating between them, this certainty only grew stronger. Whenever their skins collided, Taehyung's whole universe turned 360º, and just like that he would lose himself on the patterns his fingertips craved on the younger's warm and tanned skin. The first time Jungkook let out a breathless moan right next to his ear when he finally dared to touch him completely, hearing his sweet voice filled with pleasure caused by no one but himself made him realize there was no other person he would rather touch, no other moan he would rather hear, no other place he would rather be than right there, by Jungkook's side, making him feel good, making him come undone underneath him, making him beg for more of whatever he had to offer. They felt perfect, they felt special, they felt unique... 

 

 

 _Remember the way you made me feel?_  
_Such young love but... something in me knew that it was real_

 

"and yet he chose her over me... over us"

 

 

They always say things are the best when they are forbidden, and maybe that was what made them so special. The constant fear of getting caught, the burden of having to hide and lie, the painful desire to touch freely, to just scream to the whole world how damn right they feel together.

 

 

_There's nothing like us_   
_There's nothing like you and me_   
_Together through the storm_   
_There's nothing like us_   
_There's nothing like you and me... together_

 

 

"we will **never** be able to do this... we will **never** have any of this... we will **never** be able to be a couple"

 

 

It hurts. It hurts deep and hard every day, every hour, every minute, every second. For how long can they cope with it? For how long can they cope with this pain, with this agony and constant jealousy, with having to live like criminals which only crime is sharing genuine and pure love. Taehyung always tried to be positive about it all, playing strong, laughing it away, blowing the wound... but he wasn't. The fact that they would never be more than "just friends", the fact the Jungkook would always be his group mate, the fact that the world would never accept them, the fact that their company would never accept them, the fact that their fans would never accept them. It was all just too much. How could he ever blame Jungkook for running away from it? How can he ever blame Jungkoog for trying to live a normal life, to have a regular relationship, to experience the love he truly deserved other than this chaotic and doomed one he had to offer? 

 

 

_I am tired of this place, I hope people change_   
_I need time to replace, what I gave away_   
_And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small_   
_Though I try to resist, I still want it all_

 

 

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry my brother... even if I try to hide it, or conceal it, it can’t be erased._

 

 

All the confusion he experienced, all the second thoughts, it was just self preservation, and even tho deep down he knew it, he was too scared to face it, so he buried it in a place that he really only visited by himself during all the long and lonely nights he spent by himself in the park, begging the moon to help him scare his fears away. If only he could tell anyone about it, if only he had anyone to talk it through... but he was alone. Alone in this pain, alone in this perfect make believe his sleepless nights created in which he could just come clean to everyone and stop acting through life. Every day he dreamt of a world in which people would see love has no gender, in which his company would see him as a person and not a money-making machine, in which his parents would give up their dreams of a regular life for his son, in which his fans would realize he was also just human and therefore he deserved to love and be loved, to touch and be touched, to have someone by his side... to have **Jungkook** by his side.

 

 

_Even today, I live moderately_   
_I walk in pace, moderately wearing down_   
_The sun suffocates me_   
_And the world strips me naked_   
_I can't help it, there's no other way_   
_I collect myself that's shattered beneath the moonlight_

 

 

But now... Now he doesn't have to feel alone anymore. He doesn't have to face it all alone. He doesn't have to love by himself... because Jungkook loves him too. It all feels so unreal, so overwhelming, he just couldn't find the strength to look into his eyes and say those words he have been choking on for so long, he couldn't just tell him how much he loved him too and how much he dreamed of being able to call him his. He ran away, instead. He ran away so Jungkook wouldn't see all those tears washing his face for how much this love hurts him. He ran away so Jungkook wouldn't see how much he struggled to refuse him, to refuse these feelings. He ran away so Jungkook wouldn't see how fucking weak he is, and how fucking scared he was right now. He ran away so Jungkook wouldn't realize that no matter what he did, he would always forgive him. He ran away so Jungkook wouldn't realize that even knowing how hard it can get, even knowing how painful it can get, Taehyung would never refuse him. And that was the truth: Taehyung needs Jungkook more than he will never be able to admit to anyone but himself, and right now there's nothing else he can do but run back to him, claim his lips, and make him his once for all... and that's exactly what he is going to do, because there's no hate in this world that can possibly overpower this match made in heaven, and he is willing to fight for it, he is willing to fight for them.

 

 

_No limit in the sky that I won't fly for ya_   
_No amount of tears in my eyes that I won't cry for ya_   
_With every breath that I take_   
_I want you to share that air with me_   
_There's no promise that I won't keep_   
_I'll climb a mountain, there's none too steep_

 

 

Taehyung sprinted towards the corridor and into Jungkook's room just to find it empty. He then looked around in their apartment and Jungkook was nowhere to be found. He dialed his number as fast as he could with his desperate fingers, but it went straight to voice mail. "Fuck!" he cursed as he punched the wall next to him, frustration taking over. He scanned his mind for every possible place the younger could be found whenever he needed a breather, and considering it was over 11pm the only place he could think off was the Han River. He knew he would certainly get in great trouble for leaving the apartment by himself without permission, but honestly at this point it was the smallest of his problems, besides Jungkook just did the same so at least they would go down together as usual. Without a second thought he grabbed a hoodie, his face mask, hop on his bike and said a few prayers under his breath wishing no one would recognize him or he wouldn't run into a sasaeng camping outside their place. 

  
Despite the cold weather he ran as fast as he could manage, letting the freezing wind exorcise his mind of all frightening feelings. It didn't take long before he reached his destination, and just as expected his eyes catches a familiar white beanie from the distance. He approached silently and there Jungkook was, sitting on a bench in the public walkway, wearing his oversized red hoodie and one of his plain black t-shirts. Taehyung caught a glimpse of his face mask moving and realized he was probably mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing in his headphones. "So cute", he thought as a smile instantaneously started to grow on his face - the younger's mere sight have always been enough to do so. "Love is a bitch, indeed" he chuckled before finally walking over his target. 

 

TH: Hello there, stranger. - he greeted, startling the younger way more than intended. 

JK: _Fuck_ , you scared the shit out of me! - he said as he dramatically groped his chest trying to recover from the fright - wait, how did you find me here?

TH: I would be able to find you anywhere, kid. I know all about your chilling places. - he stated matter-of-factly taking a seat beside the other.

JK: I guess I should find a few more, then. - he joked, eyes glued on the uninvited visitor. 

TH: Or maybe you should bring me over with you instead. - Taehyung retorted, his mask failing to hide the grin on his face. He wasn't sure how the younger would receive him after ending their weeks of quarrel with a long-awaited unanswered confession, but even tho his face was partially covered, his eyes showed nothing but warmth and surprise.

JK: Oh yeah? And why should I do this? - he asked out of genuine curiosity, eyebrows twisted in confusion.

TH: Well, I guess that's what _boyfriends_ do - those words just rolled out of his tongue so naturally that it even surprised himself. Not more than Jungkook, though, which eyes grew as big as two oranges. Considering how the older had just rejected him about a hour ago, his first reaction was to think it was some sort of apologetic joke, but he kept staring at his hyung's face searching for any sign of amusement, but there was none. Realizing how confused Jungkook was, Taehyung silently reached out for his hand, intertwining their fingers and caressing the other's thumb with his own. Noticing how his expression softened, it was clear that JK finally understood it was no joke at all, but he waited nervously for his words regardless.

JK: Well, too bad I don't really have one, then - Jungkook teased but Taehyung could hear the mischievousness in his words. In a regular day he would respond equally, carrying the joke further, but this was not a regular day and he couldn't stand the tension any longer.

TH: This is really a shame... - he started while removing his mask and reaching out for Jungkook's as well - But listen, I happen to know this very attractive guy and I heard he's got this big ass crush on you since forever. I heard he even broke, like, 10 of his company's rules just to chase after you in the middle of the night and tell you that he's been secretly in love with you for so long that you would probably make fun of him for it. He also wanted you to know that he had countless sleepless nights to think it all through, and, even though he realized how damn hard it can get, he would still face it all with a smile on his face as long as he can have you by his side... because you are _so_ fucking worth it, it hurts- he finished meeting Jungkook's sweet gaze again - So... what do you think?

JK: Well, I think you are probably one of the worst best friends in this world, for you have known this perfect gentlemen for this long and never bothered to introduce us? You see, he's is clearly my type, and if he was here right now I would kiss him so fucking hard he would forget his way back home.

TH: I bet he would.

 

Without even bothering to check the perimeter for possible creepers Jungkook leaned in and claimed Taehyung lips hungrily. He knew it was a totally irresponsible move, but he couldn't just stand another second without taking what was finally his. They kissed sweetly, but desperately enough to cope with all the overflowing emotions crawling in their skin in that very moment. Then again, they fell for each other all over, like the very first time, but with no intentions to hold back anymore: that kiss had sealed not only their compromise, but also their fate.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the lyrics I put on this chapter, I'm pretty sure everyone knows which one are those, but in any case I'll list them:
> 
> I Know <3 RM and JK
> 
> Paper Hearts, by Tori Kelly (covered by JK)
> 
> Nothing like us, by Justin Bieber (covered by JK)
> 
> Fools, by Troye Sivan (covered by JK and RM)
> 
> Stigma <3 Taehyung
> 
> 4 o'clock <3 RM and Taehyung
> 
> 2 U, by Justin Bieber (covered by JK)


	17. Hold me tight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lok out for cavities after this one. haha

  


TH: You take my pain away. - he said softly after a few minutes of comfortable silence, head resting in Jungkook's strong thighs, finally back to the warmth of their apartment. Earlier that night Hoseok found both Taehyung and Jungkook missing, and convinced Namjoon to sleep in the maknae's bed for the night for both had issues to deal with when (if) they come back. For the first time Namjoon just nodded without even arguing. If that meant they would finally put an end to their quarrel, he was more than happy to help. 

JK: What? - he asked, way too caught up in his own thoughts to hear what the older had just said. 

TH: I said that you take my pain away. - he repeated opening his eyes but choosing to look at the dim lights of the half asleep Seoul through his window, instead of his companion. 

JK: I'm not completely sure what you mean, but I'm glad. I only wish for you to be happy, and I'm flattered to be one of the reasons. - he said honestly and watched as a smile grew on the older's lips. It has been a long time since he last saw it, and he just realized it must have been because of him. He never meant to, but somehow he ended up being the thief who stole Taehyung's smiles for the past month, and it hurts. - You know I'm not good with verbally expressing my emotions... But I hope I can make you feel it, at least. I... I want to make it up for you somehow. 

TH: Jungkook, there's nothing to make up to. If someone was wrong in all of this, it was me all along. I started a fire and... I couldn't handle the flames. I started it all, not you. - he stated humbly but honestly. Deep inside he still regretted it all. If he hadn't offered that one kiss... If he hadn't caused a second... If he hadn't proposed for it to keep going on... - You see... If it wasn't for me, you could still be with her. You could still have your girlfriend by your side. Someone you can date, and bring home to meet your parents, and introduce to your friends... Just... Someone you wouldn't be ashamed of. - these words felt like sand in his mouth, but somehow keep them inside was even more painful. He knew it wasn't convenient, and maybe Jungkook would change his mind about them, but he has never been so sincere in his life before, and even if Jungkook was the price to pay for his truth, he couldn't stop feeling like he owed him that. Needless to say the younger looked completely shocked by his words, offended even, which made Taehyung wonder if that was finally the sour end of his personal make believe.     

JK: Taehyung, look at me. - he finally said, touching Taehyung's jaw gently, but getting nothing in return - Hey, please, just look at me. - he then grabbed his chin and forced his face towards him, finally getting a glimpse of his watery eyes - First of all: you never forced me to do anything. All you did was voice it out, to which I accepted willingly, so if there's anyone to blame... its me. Or both of us if that makes you feel more comfortable. Anyway, I did it because I wanted to. Second: even if I was still dating Sun Hee or any other girl, I still wouldn't be able to do any of this things, because I'm still BTS's Jeon Jungkook, so it wouldn't be any different. Except, of course, it would certainly be way harder, because as far as I'm concerned, we can't bring girls to our apartment... but hell, both of us happen to live under the same damn roof, so joke's on who? - with this he finally got another smile from Taehyung, eyes free from tears - And third and more important: no sane person in this world would ever be embarrassed of you. Not today, not in a million years. For whatever is worth there's nothing I wish I could do more in this life than hold you close and let the entire world know that I'm yours and you are mine. I don't ever want to hear you say such nonsense again. Can you trust me? 

 

_Hold me tight, hug me_ _  
_Can you trust me, can you trust me, can you trust me?_  
_Pull me in tight__

 

Taehyung ears couldn't believe the younger's words. Even though Jungkook told him he loved him, there was still this insecure part of him that refused to believe it, to accept that he was worthy, to accept that Jeon Jungkook, the perfect guy, the Golden Maknae, could really fall in love with him, who was nothing but a pretty face and a charismatic persona - that's how he perceives himself and he is sure many people do as well. But those words... those sweet strong words... it somehow managed to knock down every wall he carefully built around himself even since he started to develop feelings for his group mate. He finally felt it, he felt the love he dared to desire, he finally understood that goddamn four letter word that confused him so much, he finally understood it wasn't overrated at all.  _Fuck_ , if he was dreaming he better die before he wakes up because he wouldn't stand to have it taken away from him.

 

_I can only see you_ _  
_I can only see you alone_  
_Look, I’m fair with everyone else but you_  
_Now I can’t live a day without you, please__

 

TH: Do you really have to make me fall for you this much? Seriously, give me a break, Jeon. - he said jokingly, not wanting to drag the conversation any longer or he would end up crying again, and God knows his face looked like shit already.

JK: What do you mean give you a break? Baby, I'm just getting started! You'll need a diary to keep track of all my cringe-worthy quotes from now on. - he joked back, lifting Taehyung's head from his lap so he could lie by his side.

TH: Oh God, please, don't. There's just too much grease even a healthy young man can take.

JK: Well, if that's the case I can think of a healthier way to show you my love... - he said grinning mischievously while sliding his hands all the way down the older's lower back.  _Smooth._

TH: Oh, I'm pretty sure you can. I heard you've been practicing... - his words sounded salty, but there was no hostility in his eyes, which made Jungkook laugh and get punched in the chest in return. 

JK: Unfortunately I don't think the practice I've got can aid me in this particular case. You see, this one seems a lot more... tricky. - he tried his best to hide his embarrassment towards the last sentence, but his flustered face deceived him. Luckily, Taehyung seemed just as flustered and tried to hide it by hiding his warm face in the crook of Jungkook's neck. Needless to say, he also failed miserably.

TH: You think... - he started, voice muffled by JK's skin - ... You think we can do it? I mean... it's kind of weird to think about it. - he confessed

JK: Yeah... it kind of scares me, to be honest. I mean, thinking about it... I don't know. I've never even... considered it before. I mean, before... you. Not before today. Shit, what am I even saying. - he tried to reason but the embarrassment took the best of him.

TH: I know exactly what you mean... don't worry. And if it helps, I'm scared too.  - he also confessed, not only to comfort Jungkook but also because it was the truth. Gay sex was a whole new thing for them, and, believe it or not, neither of them never dared to watch anything gay related before - not even A Frozen Flower after they found out about it in a very eccentric way (God bless Rookie King for the precious VHope memories). They obviously understood all about the  _logistics_  of it, but how to make it work and feel good for both sides... it was the challenge. And more importantly: how in the fuck do guys decide who tops and who bottoms? Do they talk about it? It just happens naturally? Do they take turns? And... how much can it hurt?

JK: We'll figure it out... eventually. For now let's just... enjoy this, okay? - he said bringing Taehyung's face towards his own and pecking his lips sweetly.

TH: Sure thing. - he smiled and dove in for another kiss, hungrily licking inside the younger's mouth and feeling a familiar tightness in his pants. It was incredible just how fast things always escalated between them. It only takes a small brush of tongues for them to lose control completely, intoxicated by each other's taste and scent in a way that could drive anyone crazy. In no time they found themselves shirtless, as Taehyung took the lead and started to grind aggressively against the younger underneath him while pinning his hands over his head onto the mattress, getting a lustful hoarse moan in return.

JK:  _Fuck_ , Taehyung, you are such a  _tease_. - he groaned rolling his hips  up, craving for more friction. - let me touch you...  _please_  - he begged in such sexy manner, so damn needy and hot, Taehyung swore he could come untouched just by listening to Jungkook's plead. 

TH: Shit, baby, how can I ever refuse you when you sound like that? - he let go of Jungkook's hands and proceeded to lick all the way from his neck to his chest, nibbling at his nipples and getting another sinful moan from the younger. - Damn, baby, if that's how you sound now just wait until I'm done with you - he whispered against Jungkook's belly, as he kept licking a stray of pleasure all the way down until he finally reached his jean's waistband, proceeding to undo it as the younger's breathe got caught in his throat. - I'm going to make you feel  _so good_ , baby. Just tell me what to do, tell me how you like it, okay? - he asked but Jungkook was totally unable respond, for he could already feel Taehyung's breathe in his rock-hard member, goosebumps crawling in his skin. 

JK: Please, Tae... just...  _oh fuck_ , please. - he begged rolling his eyes and hips instinctively, and he could swear he was going to lose his mind if Taehyung kept teasing him like that.

TH: You look gorgeous from this angle. You are so  _big_  and so  _wet,_ Kookie. God, how could I fail to perceive how delicious you are during all these years - he said hypnotized by Jungkook's body, eyeing his already leaking member hungrily, until he finally held it and felt it pulsing in his hands, Jungkook's cries sounding like music to his ears. He then build courage enough to give it a little lick, tasting the bitter and salty pre cum in his mouth; it was different, but he didn't felt grossed by it, so he took another taste, and another, licking at it like a cat until, after a few more seconds, he finally sucked at the tip and proceeded to take the entire head in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, making Jungkook gasp and burry his nails in the mattress. Even though he wasn't really saying anything, his actions spoke louder than words, so Taehyung knew he was doing something right. The maknae's reaction to his ministrations got him more and more confident, so he finally bobbed his head up and down a few times before engulfing the entire length - or at least half of it, for if there's one thing he just discovered is that gag reflexes are damn fucking real. 

JK: Taehyung, I'm... I'm c-close. - he cried, grabbing a pillow and muffling his own moans with it cus he was one second away from fucking screaming out of pleasure and waking the entire neighborhood. He never knew he could be so loud. Actually, he wasn't: it was all Taehyung's doing. The power the older had over his body was insane, and he couldn't get enough of it. It was by far the best fucking head of his life - it was also his first, but he decided to give it the first place regardless. He warned, but Taehyung wasn't stopping. Instead, the older also began to stroke his length while he sucked at it, and with one last swirl of tongue Jungkook finally came, filling his mouth. It tasted bitter and felt rather weird and sticky, but Taehyung swallowed it nevertheless, wiping his swollen lips and smiling down at a wrecked heavy-breathing Jungkook in front of him, beautifully sweaty, eyes shut tight in his post orgasm bliss. 

TH: I wish you could see how fucking beautiful you look right now. - he finally said, coming up and laying by the younger's side.

JK: I'd rather see you. Give me a breather and I'll whip this smile off of your face.  - he said determined, startling a still very much hard Taehyung. 

TH: It’s okay, Kookie. I can just help myself out. - he answered shyly

JK: Hey, you did that already the last time. Now it's my turn to… collaborate. Besides, you just gave me head, so being all shy really makes no sense right now. - he stated matter of factly, because well, he was damn right. Still he could not miss the older’s flushed cheeks as he finally managed to sit and open his eyes, still overheated from his orgasm. - cute - he said mockingly, grinning at Taehyung while showing his precious bunny teeth and crimped eyes.

TH: Don't call me cute when I just made you come, you brat. And in my defense, it's been a long ass time since the last time I... well, whatever, you get it. Now whip this smile off of your face and get to work, kid. Show me what you've got - Taehyung said teasingly, his voice even deeper than the usual, straightening up to press a kiss to the younger’s lips. JK can still taste himself in Taehyung’s mouth as he reached up to bring his hyung down to the bed, rolling over and getting on top of him.

JK: I guarantee this is the last time you'll dare to call me 'kid'. - He said determined in between gripped teeth, fumbling as he finally reached into Taehyung's briefs and pressed his thumb in the head of his cock, already achingly hard. - I see we've got ourselves a  _big_  problem down here - Taehyung kept watching intently, amused by Jungkook's boldness; the maknae was usually rather shy and would get flustered every time someone stared at him for more than 2 seconds, but right now he was acting shameless and manly enough to let Taehyung's mouth hanging and his brain shut down completely, hands gripping JK’s muscular shoulders. The only sound he managed to let out was a whimper as Jungkook grabbed the band of his briefs with his teeth and started dragging it down, slowly revealing his leaking cock. “Shit, Taehyung. That's...” - Jungkook trailed of after finally getting to take a proper look into his hyung's dick. It was true that they used to shower together for years, and even with all the dry humping they have been engaging for the past months, it was the actual first time he's seeing Taehyung fully erect member closely. He could tell the older wasn't small, but he never expected him to be so big.

TH: Like what you see? - Taehyung’s voice is low and mischievous, and it sends a wave of pleasure mixed with fear pulsing through Jungkook’s entire body. He then grins at the justifiable apprehension in the younger's eyes, for he knows exactly what he is fearing at now. Needless to say Jungkook was not small nor thin himself, but he still couldn't compete with the older's length. - I guess you are having second thoughts now that you know what you've signed up for. 

JK: You know I love a good challenge... - he finally said in order to recover his pride, smirking at Taehyung as he grip his inner thighs hard enough to bruise, pushing them apart aggressively, and Taehyung’s defiant smile fades for Jungkook's lips are  _so_  close to his cock. - So... should I help out? - he said and his breath tickled Taehyung's sensitive head, making him roll his eyes and drop his head backwards in anticipation. 

TH: Please, Jeon - He choked out, arm pressed over his forehead as he pleaded. He heard a low chuckle and finally felt Jungkook’s mouth around his girth, letting out the dirtiest of moans as the younger's throat vibrated around him due to a groan, fearless tasting him like he's been doing it his entire life. - Shit, Jungkookie, what the fuck - he could only curse when Jungkook let go of his length with a loud pop, just to lick up and down the underside of it, swirling his skilled tongue at his sensitive spots. 

JK: I told you you'll never call me fucking kid ever again. - he said stroking Taehyung's member painfully slow, trilling his tongue at the head before taking him deep in his mouth again, choking on the size as tears inevitably filled his eyes, getting the older to stroke his hair affectionately.

TH: Take it easy, I'm close. - Taehyung said softly and gripped the sheets with his hands, toes curling, trying his best not to buck up too hard into Jungkook’s mouth. When he opened his eyes he saw Jungkook staring right back at him, bobbing his head up and down sloppily but with determination, and that was all it took for Taehyung to loose it and release himself with a loud cry, watching the younger swallow all of his load with a smirk. - I can't move. - he said right after, lying completely still, his body trembling and his chest rising up and down. - Goddammit, you are not the Golden Maknae for nothing.

JK: I knew I could ace it - he stated with a chuckle, back with his arrogant antics - For a first, I guess I enjoyed it way more than I expected. But I must say I'm definitely not so fond of the whole swallowing, though. - he confessed pulling his sticky tongue out, getting up and heading straight to a water bottle on the counter, drinking half of it before handing the rest to Taehyung, who accepted it gladly. "C'me here", Taehyung whispered and opened his arms for Jungkook to snuggle in, pressing up against his side, both falling sleep as soon as they closed their eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taehyung's phone ringed loudly waking Jungkook who slowly opened his eyes only to find himself in a strange bed, naked, cuddling with a also very naked Taehyung. The memories from last night flooded his mind and he felt all of his blood running up to his face. He tried to entangle himself from the other without waking him up, but it was impossible, so he just gave up and poked him of the sides, getting him to groan and hug him ever harder.

JK: Taehyung... Tae Tae... Ya, wake up, I can't move! - he hissed, finally getting the older to open his eyes.

TH: Stop moving, I'm trying to sleep. - he said completely unamused by the situation. Actually he probably was still too sleepy and unaware of how fucking naked they were. Or maybe he just didn't care, which would also be a very Taehyung thing to do. 

JK: And I'm trying to reach that damn phone, but you are all over me!

TH: You are warm... feels good - he mumbled with a sleepy smile on his face. - just let it ring, it'll stop eventually.

JK: Taehyung, are you serious? Earth to Taehyung: the others are probably waiting for us! I have no idea for how long we slept, we are going to get in trouble! Besides, we are fucking naked! - he whispered the last sentence as if it was a deadly secret, which made Taehyung let out a soft laugh, finally untangling himself from the younger and rubbing his eyes.

TH: Well, you bet we are fucking naked. We are also very much covered in cum and spit, so... yeah. - he said with a smirk causing Jungkook to blush so bad he was one second away from running and hiding in the closet - Oh, I see our shy maknae is back from the dead.

JK: Stop it! It's not funny, okay? And I'm not fucking shy, it's you who are just too damn shameless. 

 

After a few more minutes of bickering they finally stepped out the room to fight over the bathroom. Their little fight brought the other's attention, and suddenly they were surrounded by their hyungs, arms crossed, watching them with their eyebrows arched.

 

JM: Look who decided to give us the pleasure of their presence! Our beloved maknaes! - he said teasingly, elbowing Jin in the process.

Jin: And to think they hated each other just yesterday... - he continued the teasing, both Taehyung and Jungkook staring at them with wide guilty eyes and flusttered faces.

YG: You see, I was about to scold them for making us all late, but since their goddamn quarrel seems to be over and their sexual tension solved, I'll let it slide this time. - he said mischieviously, poking the insides of his cheeks with his tongue.

RM: Ok... since I  _really_  don't want to know any further details, I'm just going to ask this: are you guys in good terms now? - he asked crossing his arms, causing the maknaes to exchange a shy look, clearly trying to hold back a laugh, until Jungkook finally broke the silence.

JK: More than good. We are fine. Totally. - he answered honestly, careful enough not to let out any information that could cause Namjoon to have a morning stroke.

JH: So... are you guys, like, a thing now, or..? - he finally addressed the elephant in the room making everyone start to look around nervously. The walls and the floor were never so damn interesting. Different from before, they seemed rather anxious than annoyed, so without a second thought Taehyung reached for Jungkook's hand and intertwined their fingers, making the younger let out a breathe he didn't even knew he was holding.

TH: Yes, we are. Jungkookie and I... We are together, now. - he said causing everyone to whip their heads in their direction. Before anyone could say anything, he proceeded. - And I know your opinions on this, really, but... this time it's different - he then looked at Jungkook and their eyes met, a smile creeping its way to his lips - We are in love. And it's mutual. I don't care how hard it can get, I want it. I want us. We are doing it, whether you guys approve it... or not. - he finally finished, eyes never once leaving Jungkook's, until Hoseok let out a "Oh" grabbing their attention. They looked at their hyungs and they were all... smiling. The worry was obvious in their eyes, but even though, they were smiling fondly and resigned. 

JH: Well, fucking finally! I'm not gonna lie and say I'm happy about it, because honestly... I'm not. And the reason is because I can only imagine how hard its going to be for the both of you, and I wished for you something easier, simpler... But I guess things don't ever work the way we want them to. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I love you both, and that means I'll support you regardless. - he said pouring all his sincerity in those words, feeling tears forming in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around the couple in a tight hug. - Idiots, why do you make it so hard on us. Aish, such brats, seriously. - he said while squeezing his dongsaengs. - Anyways, I guess I just spoke for the five of us. We were actually talking about it on the living room just now. - he said finally releasing them from his embrace and pointing to the rest of the group. 

JM: We all saw it coming. - he said with a shrug

YG: Honestly, the sexual tension between you guys have been so strong it was starting to hurt my senses. I was about to lock you two in a damn room and flush the key down the toilet - he said to break the ice, causing everyone to laugh at his remark.

RM: It's... It's going to be difficult to digest it all for now, so I just ask you guys to have a little patience. Have faith on us, we'll come around eventually. We are a family, anyway. Just, please, don't be carefree. Like any other relationship, it can't possibly come out. Please,  _please_ , I'm begging you to be discrete. We'll do our best to help you guys through it, like we always did for each other, but you gotta help us to help you. Deal? - he said reaching for both their hands and squeezing it lightly, reassuringly. 

TH/JK: Deal! - they answered in sync, sniffing. Neither of them noticed, but at some point they started to cry, and so did their hyungs.

Jin: C'me here. Group hug, everyone. - he finally added, and everyone happily complied.

 

The are a family, anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It has been around a week since Taekook became an official thing, and the dynamics in their dorm barely changed, despite for the fact that no one dared to burst into a room whenever the youngers were inside of it (at least not until Hoseok walked into a shirtless and pant-less make out session in the middle of the night and screamed his lungs out off fright when he thought it was two horny ghosts, and then out of disgust when he realized it wasn't ghosts). 

NJ: Hyung, can I talk to you for a second? 

JIN: Sure. What's it? - They had just returned from the recording of another Run episode (the "qualities of a perfect man" one). Jungkook went to eat lamb skewers with Yoongi, Jimin was at the gym, and Hoseok was out with his sister.

NJ: Hyung... how are feeling about this Jungkook and Taehyung dating thing? - he asked honestly, his forehead wrinkled and eyes glued to his hands in his classical concerned pose.

JIN: Honestly I chose not to give it much thought. It scares me... but there's nothing I can do about it.

NJ: It scares the fuck out of me, too. Honestly, if you think about everything that can go wrong, how can it even be a good thing? I'm trying my best to support it for their sake, but there's just this part of me that keeps telling me I'm being irresponsible for doing so. 

JIN: I understand, and I also share the same worries with you. But then again, like I said, there's nothing we can do about it, Monie. The kids are in love. To say the truth, we need to see the bright thing about it. Whenever they dated other people, we'd always be worried whether or not that was a good person, whether or not that person liked them or was just looking for attention, whether or not one day we would wake up to a couple selca taking over the internet... See, at least now we know for sure. Even if one day they have a terrible fight, even if they break up, they still share the same interests as a group, so they would never do anything to ruin one another. 

NJ You have a point. At least now they don't have to go out in dates.

JIN: And even if they do, they will be just brothers Taehyung and Jungkook from BTS going out for a meal. You see, considering the options, I guess it's easier like that. I'm jealous - he joked 

NJ: Easier? Just wait for their first fight... 

JIN: I sense this dorm becoming such a small place.

 

 

 

 

 

It was movie night, and as usual they were all mangled together in a mess of limbs in their small living room. Jungkook and Jin kept fighting over a spot on the couch, Taehyung kept trying to rest his head on Hoseok's lap, Yoongi and Namjoon kept complaining about how noisy they were, and Jimin was just watching the mess and laughing cutely. Jin finally managed to tickle Jungkook until victory and claimed the couch next to Yoongi, and Taehyung finally gave up using Hoseok as a pillow, so now they were both sitting side by side on the ground with defeated faces. Halfway through the movie Jungkook leaned on Taehyung for better support for his backs, and noticing the younger was probably getting tired, he pulled on his shirt and brought him closer, placing him in between his legs, body resting on his on his chest; Jungkook looked up and they both shared a warm smile. 

TH: I'm sorry. - he whispered out of the blue, and Jungkook raised an eyebrow in confusion. - I know that you're shy so I'm apologizing in advance. 

JK: Apologizing for wh- before he could finish, he felt a pair of smiling lips pressed over his own. He smiled back but tried to push Taehyung away, letting out a muffled laugh that caught everyone's attention. 

JM: Ya, shut u- he stopped once he saw what was happening - Ya! Namjoon hyung, Taehyung is molesting the maknae! - he screamed as he reached for the couple and helped Jungkook push a laughing Taehyung away. 

JH: Oh God, the kids are being gross again. - he said throwing a pillow at them, and the others joined him, showering the couple with pillows and shouts.

TH: What gross, I'm just trying to kiss my boyfriend! That's oppression! - he got up to defend himself, pointing an accusing finger to his hyungs. 

JH: The only thing being oppressed are my poor eyes.

TH: Aaaish, this hyung... You guys are really something, huh? Jungkookie, say something, they are playing prude on us! 

JK: Nope. Taehyung, you are  _too_  much of a free spirit... - he said trying to hide a smile. 

JM: That's right. Such a shameless brat... - He teamed up with Jungkook, putting his arms around his shoulder and proceeding to tease Taehyung. 

TH: Double betrayed! So that's what my life has become? And to think my parents tried to warn me about the hustle idol life... - he answered pulling an over dramatic act, very much Taehyung's style. 

YG: Ya, I'm trying to watch the movie! Noisy kids... 

Jin: Sit down before Yoongi murder you all, because I'm not stopping him. - he added, but in reality he was much more worried about waking the snoring grumpy Namjoon up. 

TH: Old people... Always so boring. - he said as he finally sit right in Jungkook's lap, kicking Jimin in the process. - And you, sir, find someone else to cheat on me. Not my best friend, please. - he hissed grabbing Jungkook's neck and pretending to choke him. 

JK: Sorry, but he has such a great ass, I couldn't contain myself. - he joked teasingly 

TH: I'll remember that when you start coming for mine. - he said right into the younger's ear, making him blush. 

JM: Okay, TMI. Someone please save me. - he complained and reached out for Yoongi, turning his back on the youngers.

YG: I got you, kid. C'me here. - he opened his arms and Jimin scorched closer, cuddling into him and turning his full attention towards the TV. 

TH: Now that the competition is gone... - he joked, staring at Jimin's backs - ... I might consider forgiving you... - He lowered his voice and grabbed Jungkook's chin, forcing him to look right at him, still comfy sitting on JK's crossed legs. - ... If you give me a kiss. 

JK: Taehyung... Everyone is here, it's embarrassing... - he answered, face completely flustered. 

TH: So what? Is not like they are watching or anything. - "you bet we aren't" Yoongi whispered, making both Hoseok and Jimin laugh - Plus, you are my boyfriend, so there's nothing wrong with it. I know it's weird, but we must just get over it already because there's no way I'll be hiding in our own home too. - He reasoned while caressing Jungkook's jaw reassuringly. 

JK: I know... It's just that I'm still shy about it. Not you, just... Being with someone. Romantically. I'm a shy guy. - he said and Taehyung couldn't help but smile at how precious he looked, all red cheeks and wandering eyes. 

TH: Fuck, you are so cute, you know that? - he said and leaned in slowly, closing the space between them, and Jungkook finally accepted it, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. They kissed sweetly and silently until it finally felt like they were the only ones in the room - and maybe they really were, because at that point they had already lost track of time and space, focused only on each other's familiar warmth and taste. 


	18. My love is on fire

 

As the speculations of the shippers continued to grow, things got blown out of proportion. Fan sites started to send them couple accessories, and it drew the company's attention. Whispers could be heard in the halls whenever they were around, not to mention discretion was also never the couple's forte, so inevitably their managers felt the need to investigate it further. 

 

NJ: Holy shit!  - he shouted as he stormed into his and Taehyung's room, startling the young couple cuddling in bed. 

TH: Hyung! What the fuck, are you trying to give me a heart attack? - Taehyung called out, almost falling off the bed.

JK: Is he always like this? - the younger asked ironically, eyeing a clearly disturbed Namjoon standing in the middle of the room like a crazy person looking out for his recently lost sanity. 

TH: Luckily no, and I hope it stays that way. - he answered leaning closer to peck the younger on the lips.

NJ: You. You two - he started pointing his finger accusingly - You are fucked. No, WE are fucked. - he said suddenly, to which Taehyung and Jungkook exchanged a weird and confused glance. 

JK: Hyung, you've been losing sleep again? Are you okay? - he asked jokingly, although his concern was legit.

NJ: Just... Shut up and listen! Bang PDnim just texted me. He wants to meet. With the three of us. In 40 minutes. - he breathed out, anxiety eating his insides and getting him to struggle with his words.

TH: The thr- wait, why? - Tae asked releasing his boyfriend from his loving grip and sitting properly. 

NJ: Well, people have eyes and mouths: THAT happened. Basically, everyone has been hearing a lot about... Well, you too. Rumors, of course, but then there are the gifts, and the fan sites, and the things the fans tag us on twitter, and the videos on youtube... Anyway, PD felt curious about the fact that suddenly you are receiving three times more stuff, and I guess he might have seen some fan contents here and there... Basically he also have a feeling something might be going down between you.

 JK: Oh shit. - he jumped out of bed and started walking in circles just like Namjoon, chewing on his nails almost to the point of drawing blood. 

TH: But... - he started totally stunned, his honey-skinned cheeks now completely paled - Dude, this shipping thing has been going on for ages, why is PD giving a fuck about it now? I mean, how many couple rings you and Jin hyung have received? Or Jungkook and Jiminie, or Suga hyung and Jiminie. Even Hobi and I, for Christ's sake! - he shouted

NJ: Yes, but this time it's different, can't you see? It's too much. Feels like the whole world are writing fanfics on you both. It's huge, man. I don't think I've ever seen anything like this before. Seriously. This whole Taekook thing is huge, bro. - he stated matter-of-factly. 

JK: Yeah, it is... - He smiled fondly, which only annoyed Namjoon even further. 

NJ: Why are you even smiling? This is not a good thing! It's funny when it's between friends, but between you two it's just dangerous! - he blew out

TH: We are getting all this support from our fans, I can't see how it can ever be a bad thing, hyung. Sorry. - he answered bitterly

NJ: Tae, it's just our fandom you are talking about. Even if every single Army supports you, which is not true because your ship have a fair share of haters as well, it's still statistically insignificant . - he rationalized

TH: Okay, Mr. Reality-check. Thanks for that. - he snorted, sulking

NJ: There's no use in lying. Besides, you know that already, it's not like I'm breaking news here. - the older said rolling his eyes

JK: Enough of this! So, about this meeting, what the hell are we gonna do? Should we lie? Should we say the truth? I'm losing my mind here and you both keep discussing useless things! - now it was his time to blew out on his hyungs, clearly upset.

NJ: Listen, I don't know, and I'm scared to opine. Honestly, I just can't tell which option is worse. Either lying or telling the truth are dangerous options, so I think you should talk it through between yourselves. I wish I could be of more help but it's really not my place to decide. Just... please, be mature and rational about it, and whatever you decide I'll be right there by your side. Deal? - he finished wearing a weak but reassuringly smile.

JK: Okay... I guess. Just give us five, and we'll meet you outside.

 

 

They remained silent all their way to the company, avoiding eye contact by all costs, fidgeting in whatever they could get in their hands, staring out the window. Namjoon was still on the dark concerning whatever the couple had decided to do, but he figured it was best not to ask and just wait. As soon as they arrived, PDnim was already waiting for them in his office. They stopped at the door and took a deep breathe as Jungkook reached out for Taehyung's hand and squeezed it tightly, being followed by Namjoon who did the same with both, smiling as he felt the need to be the strong one among them.

JK: Let's do this. - he said grabbing the door knob and taking one last deep breathe.

TH: Whatever happens.

NJ: Whatever happens.

Jungkookie finally opened the door and was met by a smiling fatherly figure.

 

 

 

 

*Later that day*

 

YG: Are we seriously gonna have to get used to this?  - he asked while they walked in on the couple for the third time already, and the said boys just smiled on each other lips clearly not bothering to stop their make out session for the sake of anyone, and specially not their members.

JH: I swear we only left for 10 minutes. They are like dogs in heat. - Hoseok said following the others into their rehearse room and throwing a sweaty towel at the gross couple.

YG: Now that everyone knows about it they are even more shameless. It's all your fault, Namjoon! You should have convinced them to lie and we would only have to deal with it on the dorms. Now they are eating each other up everywhere! - Yoongi shouted in complaint, getting an apologetic glance from the leader.

 

The talk with PDnim was nothing but filled with unexpected moments. The moment they got inside his office they were already trying to get psychologically ready to be kicked out of the company and say goodbye to everything they had built with blood, sweat and tears until that day. They kept their hands together in a bruising grip as they looked into their manager's eyes with a lump in their throats and allowed the words to spill from their lips, feeling like sand in their tongues. "We are together", they said in unison as Namjoon's breathe got caught in his throat and he felt numb by the flush of blood running through his ears. _It's over_ was all he could think as the man beside them crossed his arms, tilted his head and studied them meticulously. But then he opened his mouth a little, and Namjoon could swear he saw a glimpse of what seemed like a smile, but maybe he was just hallucinating out of panic. "Well, I guess that's what I get for choosing to work with teenagers...", he said wearily before adding "Just be discrete. If you get caught it's literally the end, but I guess you already know it". And then, for what felt like the first time ever, they were able to breathe properly to they point they wondered if oxygen ever felt so good.

 

JM: Let's get this over with, you perverts can suck face later. - he complained while physically breaking the couple apart by shoving a sweaty finger right into their connect mouths, earning disgusted grunts.

TH:Ya! You pig, I'll shove this fucking finger up your ass! - The taller shouted while whipping his tongue with his t-shirt 

JK: Not if I manage to catch and kill him first. - he said mimicking the older, trying to get rid of the salty taste of Jimin's sweaty finger in his mouth.

JM: Cut the drama, I bet you've had worst in your mouths by now... - he pointed out and the whole room was filled with shouts and barfing noises in protest for the unnecessary comment.

JIN: For fucks sake, Jimin, I haven't eaten yet!

NJ: Okay, I'll just pretend you never said it and remind you all that we still have to record our choreo to post. 

TH: Which song are we doing?

JH: Bapsae. And I'm really looking forward for a one-take so let's work hard and make it good.

 

 

 

 

 

They haven't had sex yet. Over 6 months into their official relationship and they are still trapped in the _casual-blow-jobs-and-daily-hand-jobs_ comfort zone _._ Not that any of them was complaining, at least not openly, but the fact that they seemed stagnated and unable to do anything about it was starting to get on their nerves - and then again, not that any of them was _openly_ complaining.

Now, don't get me wrong here: It's not that they don't want to go any further, it's just that they were still very much clueless and very much insecure about the whole butt-sex thing. Of course they have been watching a fair share of gay porn, hidden in their rooms in the middle of the night, but that fake ass unrealistic sex ( _way_ too real, but _still_ unreal, as Namjoon used to address it) was nothing to go by for. No human being would be ready to get a 20cm porn star cock up the ass within 10 seconds of prep (plus being able to pretend to feel real good about it), and sure as hell no human being would be able to last a hour while aggressively doing so. And the biggest of the issues: none of them was convinced that being wrecked open from behind could feel anything but awful.

 

JM: What's with the shit face? - the black haired asked while approaching a very grumpy Taehyung, limbs sprawled in their studio floor, staring at the ceiling as if it was the most entertaining thing ever.

TH: Nothing... - he tried to dismiss the question and act casual, but Jimin wasn't having any of that.

JM: Sorry to be the one to break the news, but you really need to try and improve your acting skills.. - he teased and sat beside the younger, pulling his head to rest over his muscular thighs.

TH: Ouch! I don't remember your thighs ever being so hard. What a terrible pillow! - Taehyung complained trying to adjust his head into a less painful position.

JM: Should I be offended or...? - The smaller narrowed his eyes, getting a boxy smile in return - So, are you gonna talk to me or sulking by yourself is you new hobby?

TH: I... it's not that I don't want to talk, Chim. Actually it's more like... I don't think anyone would want to listen to what I have to talk about. - he answered, completely unable to hide the color crawling up his cheeks.

JM: Well, what's the point of having friends if you can't talk about awkward shit? - Jimin reassured while playing with the younger's hair - well, considering the tomato you have for a face right now, I'm assuming it's about Jungkookie. 

TH: Yes, it is. - Taehyung confirmed whilst taking a deep breath and leaning into Jimin's touch - But it's _really_ awkward. Are you sure you want to listen to it? Because if you can't, like, it's really okay. I totally get it. - he answered shyly, locking eyes with his friend.

JM: So... I guess... It's about sex, isn't it? - he said before cleaning his throat and making mental notes not to freak out and look just as weird as he was feeling right now - I mean... Not that talking about my two brother's sexual life is something I would clean up my agenda for, but... Like I said, that's what friends are for. - He finished honestly, trying to fight the flush crawling up his cheeks as well.

TH: Okay... If you say so. - he said taking another breathe while getting his hands busy with his phone, trying to find the courage to start this conversation - I... I really don't know how to start this conversation. - He said finally giving up and dropping his phone on his stomach to cup his face with his both hands.

JM: Okay, then let me do the honors. - Jimin took over for the sake of his friend, adjusted his sitting position to a more straight and serious one - So... I guess it's obvious you guys have been... well... engaging into some sorts of... sexual activities lately, right? - he said and looked anywhere but at Taehyung - I mean, we have thin walls... - he added, which made the younger gasp and cup his hands even tighter over his face - No, don't be shy. Come on, we need to do it naturally! Tell me what's it that's been worrying you exactly? 

TH: Yeah, we have been doing some... exploring, I guess? It's nothing recent, really, but I guess you must know it. Like you said, "thin walls" and shit. So yeah, like, we have been doing a few things here and there... but... - he then stopped mid-sentence and closed his eyes sighing.

JM: ... But? - Jimin pressed.

TH: But we haven't... - another pause - we haven't gone _all the way_ yet. - he finished, making sure to emphasize the "all the way" so that hopefully he wouldn't have to give it any further details.

JM: Oh. - Was Jimin's short response. Thankfully he was a bright one and therefore he got the message right away - Okay. So you guys haven't done it yet. - he stopped as if to think carefully about his next words, tilting his head a little - Uh... why? I mean, don't you want it? 

TH: Yes! Yes I do! - he answered, getting startled by his own certainty - but I'm scared. I mean, it's natural that I'm scared... isn't it? 

JM: Well, if I was to ever get fucked in my poor ass, you bet I would be hella scared of it! - he hushed spontaneously, getting a punch from Taehyung in return - No, seriously, I mean, it was a poor choice of words, but I just wanted to say that yes, it is totally normal to be scared of it.

TH: Wait a minute. And what made you so sure  _I'm_  the one getting fucked in the ass? - Taehyung inquired a little taken back, watching his friend through tick eyelashes.

JM: I don't know. I just assumed, I guess? I mean, are there even rules for it? How are you even supposed to decide on it? - now it was his time to be confused.

TH: You keep asking me like I'm supposed to know. I don't know shit about it, that's why I'm scared! - he stressed - It's not like I've been in this position my entire life or anything like that. Having gay sex was never in my plans, so, yeah, I'm at loss here, bro.

JM: Maybe you guys should just talk about it? I mean, when you first get to take a girl to bed that's what you do, right? You talk things through so it doesn't get weird or no one does anything _o_ _ff limits_ or whatever. - he reasoned.

TH: Yeah. I know it's supposed to be just the same, but... It's not just anyone, you know. It's... Jungkookie. That's what makes it so hard for me. It's like just yesterday he was my cute little brother whose I wanted to nurse, and now he's this attractive man that I just really can't keep my hands off, and I'm still unsure of how or when things changed like that. I... I don't want to hurt him, Jimin. I don't want to screw things between us. I'm terrified taking such a huge step might be too much for us and it's just going to suck and hurt and we'll regret even have started all of this but there's no way to turn back time and make things normal again. - he blew out and had to hold back the tears that started creeping at the corner of his eyes, and Jimin just wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright... but that's just no way to be sure of it.

JM: There's still a part of you that see him like a baby brother, don't you? - Jimin said while staring down at his brother emphatically, to which the other just nodded - that's why it's so hard on you. Your thoughts towards him changed, but your feelings haven't. You still want to pet him and protect him as if he's that frail fifteen year old boy that entered our dorm scared like a lost puppy.

TH: You are right... - he answered weakly, not minding to hold back his tears anymore. - How can I fix it? What do I do?

JM: I don't know, Taehyungie. I really don't. But it's clear that the only thing that's been holding you back, is yourself. And I believe it's the same with Jungkookie. He probably still sees you as that annoying hyung who would boss and bully him around, but also would cuddle him and pinch on his cheeks at every given opportunity. This attraction between you two doesn't really change how you feel towards each other, it's not enough to just replace all those feelings that have been built through all those years. So, I'm not the smartest or the most experienced one, but I think the key is a balance, like, you don't have to replace your brotherly love towards each other, you just have to find a way to separate it from the boyfriend one. You can still love each other like brothers, but when it comes to _acting_ like boyfriends, I mean, in your intimate moments... then you gotta learn how to _feel_ like _just_ boyfriends. 

TH: You mean we need to learn how to set aside the brotherly feelings when we need it gone? Like turn it off? - he asked and Jimin nodded positively - And how are we supposed to do it?

JM: Well, now _that_ is up to you two and you two only. - he answered and finally motioned from them to get up when Taehyung seemed pleased enough with his not-very-helpful last answer. - Just talk. If you can even make out in front of us and not even blush about it, how hard can it be to just sit and fucking talk? Seriously, though. Just... fucking talk, ok? Open up your hearts. - he finished as they started making their way out of the studio.

 

 

 

 

TH: Hey there, handsome. - he said while climbing up to Jungkook's bunk bed - Fancy seeing you here. Hobi hyung kicked you out of his? - He said and both laughed

JK: He did. How do I cope with such uncomfortable bed? - he asked while taking his boyfriend in his arms.

TH: You just never cared to change it because you have six more to sleep on. - he answered matter of factly and they laughed again. - the perks of being the maknae...

JK: True. So, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? - he asked and Taehyung turned to face him and give him a little peck on the lips. 

TH: I wanted to talk to you about something. - he answered with a serious look on his face and Jungkook made a cute confused pout.

JK: Something wrong, babe?

TH: Not really. It's just, I think we've postponed this talk enough. We never really sat to talk about, well, the development of our relationship and where it leads us. I mean, I just need to be sure we are on the same page. - he started confidently as Jungkook listened closely, nodding a little.

JK: I think I know exactly what you mean. - the younger confessed, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as he did so.

TH: You do?? - he questioned, a surprised look on his face

JK: Ya, don't look so surprised! - Jungkook blushed - Truth is I have noticed it was also bothering you too, but I just...

TH: You just didn't knew how to bring it up. Yeah, I get it. - Taehyung finished his sentence as they both shared a warm smile - That's why I said we have postponed it enough. I mean, last time we... well, last time we got intimate, I felt that you seemed to want to say something while we were at it, but you never did so I just decided to let it go.

JK: Yeah, I did... - he said recalling the memory. - when I took off your clothes... I actually meant to ask you... if you wanted to try something new. - the younger confessed shyly, looking at Taehyung's chin and avoiding his eyes.

TH: And why didn't you? 

JK: I don't know... I mean... I think I was scared you wouldn't like it... or like, you would refuse me. I would be so embarrassed if you refused me I would run all the way to Busan on my bare feet right away. - Jungkook joked his embarrassment away making Taehyung laugh again.

TH: I understand. I've been meaning to ask you the same for so long, but I also never gathered enough courage to do so. It always felt like it wasn't the right time, or it was too soon. I don't know. I guess we are just two idiots. 

JK: That's not brand news now, is it? - Jungkook said and both laughed even further. Every time they were together it was just like that: two idiots laughing at all times. Their one-on-one relationship was so easy and so perfect it felt surreal sometimes. - Okay, so... I want it. I want to take it further. I want to go all the way... with you. - he finally said it and his face was no longer playful, but serious and honest. 

TH: Me too. But I... I'm not confident. I mean, I don't really know how to. Well, of course I know _how to_ , but... - Taehyung stuttered and Jungkook really felt like laughing at his poor choice of words, but he decided to shut him up with a kiss instead.

JK: I know. Me too. - he said breaking the kiss. - I say we just... let things happen naturally. I think we'll know what feels right when we're at it. - he reasoned drawing little circles on Taehyung's cheek with his finger.

TH: I think you are right. There's no point in stress over it beforehand. - the taller said and leaned in for another kiss - I will never not be amused at how mature you can be sometimes, y'know? - he said hovering over his boyfriend's lips, still slick and swollen from kissing, their noses touching affectionately.

JK: The perks of being the Golden Maknae's boyfriend - he smiled inside Taehyung's warm mouth. - So... shall we? - he inquired shyly in between kisses

TH: You mean... give it a go? - Taehyung's clouded eyes sparkled at the younger's straightforwardness, already aroused from their little make out session.

JK: Yeah... - he answered, hands already creeping inside the older's shirt. 

TH: But... But we don't... We don't have anything. - he tried to say while Jungkook now trailed wet and warm kisses down his throat - I know you have a cherry lube hidden somewhere in here to jerk off with, but... we don't really have any condom. - Taehyung stated and Jungkook suddenly stopped the kisses and stared right into his eyes. He studied them for a while, as if trying to read right into his mind, and then I guess he actually did read it, because of the words that escaped his lips was the same ones flashing into the older's brain. "Just take me bare. I don't care. I want to feel you." And Taehyung's breath got caught in his throat, arousal burning like fire through his entire body and pouring through his eyes. - Jungkookie, you... You just asked me to... to _take_ you. Are... are you sure? - he asked because he needed to be sure Jungkook knew the exact meaning of his words.

JK: Yeah. I'm sure. - he said and smiled sweetly, and it was all Taehyung needed before he closed the space between them again in a lustful but romantic kiss.

TH: I got you. - he said in between kisses, pulling himself on top and raising Jungkook's hands over his head intertwining their fingers - Just tell me what you want, okay? - he asked but the younger barely nodded in return, already lost in desire and expectation, as he grinds up meeting Taehyung's boner with his own.

 

There is no instruction manual for this kind of thing. As they successfully managed to take off all of their clothes after a few minutes of kissing and groping and grinding and licking, Taehyung hesitated for a while, staring right into Jungkook's eyes as if asking for permission again and trying to find any strain of regret in there. There wasn't. Jungkook felt the older's hesitation and decided to deal with it himself, reaching out for his boyfriend's already leaking cock to give it a few reassuring strokes. They never break eye contact when Taehyung groaned at the feeling, or when he reached under the pillow for the lube he just found that have been right there all this time. The lid crinkled when Taehyung opened it, and then he flicked his gaze back up stopping his hands from doing anything when he saw the anxiety in Jungkook’s face. The older then leaned down to kiss Jungkook again, licking deep inside his mouth and squeezing his hip bones reassuringly. When they broke apart, breathless and even more aroused than before, he finally slid his hands up Jungkook's thighs, stopping right at his knees to spread his legs open. "I’m going to finger you open, okay?” He asked cautiously, and Jungkook nodded weakly, eyes shut tight, butterflies dancing in the pit of his stomach. "Just tell me if it hurts" he said feeling the slickness of the lube on his fingers, warming it up before finally moving it between the younger's thighs and pressing the first shaking finger to Jungkook's tight hole, making him hiss. Taehyung scanned Jungkook's face again, and saw how the younger's brows have twisted in discomfort, so he leaned down and claimed his cock in his mouth to distract him from the pain. “Oh, fuck,” Jungkook groaned, “Fuck, Taehyung...” he groaned again making the older hum, the vibration of his throat against his shaft sending shivers through his spine, and Taeyung took it as his cue to add another finger, just as slowly, in and out until Jungkook's body relaxed to it's size. Taehyung then started to make scissoring moves inside the younger's hole. It was an odd stretch, if Jungkook's face was anything to go by. Painful, for sure, but not enough to be unbearable, so the younger ruffled Taehyung's hair before pulling at it as a cue for the older to stop sucking him off and craw back up to face him again. Their eyes met while Taehyung kept his ministrations, and Jungkook whispered a "ready when you are", getting Taehyung to remove his fingers completely.

Taehyung reached for the lube again and shuddered when he slicked himself up, eyeing the younger again as the tip of his cock nudged his entrance. Their faces were just a heartbeat apart, and Taehyung didn't have to think twice before dipping down for a wet and open mouthed kiss before finally pushing the head in. The breath in Jungkook's lungs hitched as he dug his nails painfully into Taehyung’s buttocks, making him freeze. They just stayed like that, with Taehyung breathing heavily into Jungkook’s ear while he whimpered right into Taehyung’s shoulder blades. After what felt like an eternity their hearts finally steadied inside their chests, and Jungkook broke the silence asking Taehyung to move. He gave his hips a little roll and both gasped, overwhelmed at the tightness and the stretch. Taehyung then kept it going until he finally found a comfortable pace, pounding into the younger slowly but deep.

Listening Jungkook's broken moans ignited a flame in his body, so he grabbed Jungkook's legs and lifted it up his chest so he could reach deeper. Suddenly a loud cry emerged and he stopped abruptly. "What's wrong? am I hurting you?" Taehyung asked, still buried to the tilt, but motionless. "I don't know what the fuck you just did, but keep it on. Come on, why did you stop?" Jungkook hushed, throwing his head back and arching his backs sinfully. Taehyung realized he had just hit Jungkook's prostate, so he smirked before gripping at his waist strong enough to bruise, pounding back at him hard and deep, hitting his sweet spot over and over and watching as tears started to form in the corners of Jungkook's closed eyes. "T-Tae d-don't stop. Feel s-so g-good, I'm close" he hiccuped, so Taehyung moved one of his hands in between them to jerk Jungkook's leaking length. Not even a minute later he locked Taehyung up with a strong grip of his thighs, and it only took one last right trust from Taehyung for him to come hard, biting down at his lower lip to prevent himself from screaming. The orgasm had him trembling and whimpering, ass tightening around Taehyung’s cock as the older came undone as well, mouth agape and thighs weak, leaning down to plant kisses at whatever he could reach of the younger to ground them both through their orgasm bliss.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bottom Tae stans don't freak out on me yet. TRUST ME OK


	19. Down and dirty

 

To say that finally taking their relationship to a next level completely changed the dynamics of it, it's an understatement. What once was a sweet and even pure relationship, became something completely sexual and ambitious and none of them could keep their hands off of each other anymore. Just the thought that they might have had insecurities considering wether or not they could enjoy a daily dose of hardcore butt-sex sounded like a joke now, especially considering they were getting down and dirty in Jungkook's project-of-a-room as we speak, for the first damn time they got some break from their hectic schedules.

 

Jungkook blushed hard at the reminder they are going to have sex again, as if he hasn't been hyper-aware of it since the very second he opened his eyes that morning. They barely made it through breakfast with Namjoon and Jimin, and before he realized it Taehyung is dragging him upstairs, licking inside his mouth hungrily, hardly shy about the fact that they have a beyond disgusted audience, shouting at them for mercy upon their eyes. Once they finally make it to the younger'a room, he slid his gaze up to Taehyung who was leaning heavily against his door, kiss-swollen lips and obvious boner in his PUMA grey sweatpants. 

  
  
TH: How about it - Taehyung started, taking off his shirt and throwing it right at the younger's face, having it landing in his bare feet. Jungkook looked at it, then back up at Taehyung's smirking face - Wanna give it another go?

 

Jungkook stepped forward, kicking Taehyung's shirt out of the way and grabbing him around the jaw with both hands to tug his face down to his eye level, turning them so Taehyung was pressed against the door. "I'm about to make it my personal mission to wipe this fucking smirk off of your face, _hyung_ " - he whispered, lips already brushing against Taehyung's before claiming it angrily. The older opened his mouth to him easily, gasping into his lips, skin burning hot under Jungkook’s strong hands when he slid them down his neck, then down his thin waist, stopping to grip at the waistband of his sweats, fingers dangerously close to Taehyung's aching boner, only breaking their kiss to pull at it and steal a hungry glimpse inside.

 

TH: Like what you see? - he teased making Jungkook slant his gaze back up to his boyfriend's face, air headed already. 

 

Jungkook never answered, choosing to grip hard at the taller’s jaw again with one hand and kiss him roughly again instead, nails scrapping the soft tanned skin of his neck. Taehyung whined before responding to the kiss, tonguing first at his lower lip before sliding in further. Neither of them were able to control the loud groans that escaped their busy mouths, forgetting all about the rest of the boys who were still asleep, completely lost in the heat that kept scorching low in their abdomens. "Fuck", Taehyung cursed when Jungkook deliberately pressed their boner together in excruciatingly slow yet aggressive movements, knowing just how much his dominant side has Taehyung’s blood sizzling in his veins. With just that he could already feel the older pulsing wet inside his thin pants, and the fact that Taehyung was always so easily aroused by him had his heart beating heavily against his rib-cage, eyes clouded by lust and wishing for nothing more than to have him pliant under his touch. Jungkook then pressed him even harder against the wooden surface, chests firm against his, a dangerous smirk adorning his lips when he felt how the taller shivered under him, mouth agape and eyes shut tight.

 

JK: Take my pants off - he commanded in a low hoarse voice right into Taehyung's ear - I want you to suck me off - he added and felt the older's breathe getting caught up in his throat.

 

It was the first time Jungkook had ever talked to him like that, and the dominance in the younger's tone and touch had his blood boiling and his head spinning. He proceeded to get rid of the other's pants quickly before obediently falling hard to his knees, the younger's jaw dropping once he noticed how badly his boyfriend enjoyed being manhandled like this. 

Taehyung then just sat back on his heels for a while, admiring the way the younger's cock was standing at full attention for him, red swollen head already slick with pre-cum. He hissed at the sight before finally circling his fingers around it, giving it a dry hard pump, making Jungkook groan at the harsh yet pleasant touch. He pumped it up and down, slowly at first, working his soft hands all the way from his balls up to the sensitive tip. Jungkook's broken moans filled the room making his mouth water, so he finally leaned in until his lips hovered close enough for the wet heat to be tangible, teasing until he could hear the younger's breath getting strangled in his throat. "Goddammit,  _Taehyung",_  Jungkook nearly shouted, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes as he ran his fingers in the older's recent dyed brown locks and pulled at it aggressively "You better obey me or I swear to G— _Oohhh "_ was all he managed to say before Taehyung took him whole without hesitation, his throat closing around the length in a gag. 

Their relationship had its ups and downs, and sure as hell it kept getting harder and harder as their popularity started increasing day after day. The members started to get fed up, their families - or at least the few people that knew about it - started to worry even more, the fans were getting more and more nosy and loud about their suspicions, and even their managers were no longer as supportive as they once seemed to be. It was fucking hard, yes, but if this is the price to pay to get to see that head of soft brown hair bobbing between his legs and pink slick lips stretched around his cock, then just screw how hard it was cus it's _so_ damn worth it.

Jungkook bucked his hips and Taehyung’s hands came up to grip at his ass in order to keep pace with his thrusts as he breathed heavily through his nose. Jungkook threw his head back in shallow pants, digging his fingers harder into Taehyung’s hair, but as long fingers started spreading his butt-cheeks open and then he felt a tip being pressed slightly at his hole, he froze on the spot and drew Taehyung's mouth away from his cock, who looked up at him in confusion, spit smeared all over his chin and in the corner of his swollen lips. 

 

JK: I don't think you understood me quite right, baby. _I'm_ in charge today. - he said, eyes clouded with lust. Taehyung gulped whilst wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and staring right back at him with wide puppy eyes. - C'me here. Let me take care of you. - He said holding out his hand to help the other up before leading him to his bed.

 

It was going to be Taehyung's first time just like it was his, and Jungkook was still having a mental breakdown knowing he was gonna be the one to actually claim it. From day one he always had a hard time trying not stare at his hyung's ethereal beauty. but back then he thought it was just a pure dongsaeng's admiration. Who would have guessed it was actually an overwhelming sexual tension in disguise, and that in three years he would be lying on top of him, fully naked, staring down at his offensively handsome face with red swollen lips from sucking him off like his life depended on it, and, may he add: just about to fuck him in the ass like the other did to him only a week ago in his own bed. Life's really full of surprises, after all.

 

TH: You see... I used to be scared of it - he started after a few seconds of comfortable silence between them, hands coming up to stroke the younger's cheeks affectionately - but after seeing how hard you came with my cock buried deep inside of you - he continued, hand coming up to pull at the younger's sweaty hair so he could have full access to his neck, biting softly at the skin - being fucked by you was all I could think about since then - he finished and planted a wet open mouthed kiss right over the hickey he had just planted. Taehyung's mouth was so fucking warm, and Jungkook couldn't help but to feel lightheaded as his sudden shameless confession was still echoing through the papery walls. 

JK: What are you doing? - he asked when Taehyung suddenly stopped and shifted their positions so he was now on top. Silently he stretched his arm to reach for the KY he knew Jungkook kept under the pillow and squeezed a fair amount into his palm.  
  
TH: I’m going to ride you. - he announced as if it was the most casual thing he had ever said, and Jungkook gasped feeling the air abandoning his lungs.

 

Jungkook couldn't fucking believe his eyes when Taehyung started to finger-fuck himself there on top of him with his dick thick and painfully hard dangling heavily against his flat stomach, as if he had done it a thousand times before already - except he didn't. He seemed to know just how much Jungkook was suffering at the sight, 'cus he then let out a painful moan before spreading his knees further on the mattress, rocking on one, two, and finally three fingers until warm tears rolled down his cheeks "God, it hurts" - he whimpered softly, eyes shut tight "You better make sure to feel way better than my fingers or I'll bite off your damn dick", he added whilst trying to get used to the pain of the stretch.   
  


JK: You’re a goddamn menace, Taehyung - Jungkook hissed through clenched teeth, so aroused he could fucking die at the spot - _Fuck_ , you're unbelievable, you know that? - he said, head spinning, still trying to figure out if whatever he was witnessing was real or just his dirty teenage mind playing tricks on him.

 

Taehyung just snickered and straddled him harder with his thighs. Not even Taehyung knew where all that courage and confidence had come from, but he was enjoying it just as much as Jungkook as he kept staring right into the younger's clouded eyes and questioning how in the fuck he could ever be scared of any sort of pleasure he had to offer. He then leaned forward so the younger had an even better view of his pretty cock, pink and thick and a little slick with lube, proceeding to crouch lower and kiss him in the mouth whilst reaching out to squeeze a generous amount of lube onto he younger’s cock as well, warm hand slicking him thoroughly. Jungkook was so distracted by Taehyung’s sinful naked body and his wet tongue down his throat, that he failed to notice when he adjusted himself just right, coming back to his senses only when the older started to sink down on his cock, a helpless whine spiraling out of his throat. he felt so painfully tight and hot against Jungkook, and for a second he thought his soul had just left his body. Taehyung's groans was the only thing grounding him to reality, and when he finally sat all the way, hissing and opening his mouth wide, spit dripping down his chin and trembling thighs, Jungkook finally realized it was damn real: he was fucking Kim Taehyung, and  _holy shit_  Kim Taehyung was his boyfriend.

Jungkook knew that stretch pain all too well, so he forced himself not to buck up and just let the other try and get used to it. Taehyung's eyes remained shut tight, his breath heavy, and sweat running down his temples. He felt him loosening a little around him as he shifted slightly in his seat after a minute or so, before he finally opened his beautiful teary eyes and relaxed face to stare right into his eyes, and Jungkook nearly lost it because of how goddamn beautiful Taehyung looked right at that moment. He leaned in slowly and joined their lips together in a chaste reassuring kiss before rolling his hips slightly and letting out a deep throaty moan he never knew he was holding. He knew he wouldn't be able to last long, but to be that close to cumming before they even start to fuck properly was not on his plans and he was kicking himself for it. It was all too fucking much, as if every sensation was magnified: Taehyung's deep low moans, the rub of his thighs against his sides, Taehyung's fingers digging into the skin of his shoulders, the rasp of his own breath as the older started to ride him, slow at first. It only took him a few more minutes until the pain started to fade, so he started to fuck himself down Jungkook's cock with abandon, the painful stretch turning into pleasure and heat in his low stomach, one hand digging into Jungkook's bare chest skin, another one cupped around his bent knee for support. 

 

TH: _Shit_ , Jungkook, you are so damn _thick -_ he growled as he buried his head into the younger's shoulder - _come on_ , show me what you got - he hissed and that's all he had to do to get Jungkook back to his dominant self, finally daring to snap his hips up mercilessly and hit that sweet spot that had him seeing stars that day, making Taehyung throw his head back and let out a loud cry. They did realize just how loud they were being, but there was no way in hell they could bring themselves to care as Taehyung’s cock kept slapping wetly against his belly as he rode Jungkook harder and faster with each thrust. He was also so fucking close he could barely think straight, and then the younger reached out for his cock and started to jerk it keeping the pace with his thrusts. 

JK: Fuck - Jungkook grunted loudly - Fuck, I can't hold it anymore. Taehyung I- I'm fucking c-cumming.  
  
TH: D-do it, K-kookie. C-come with m-me - he stuttered, and then Jungkook bucked up one more time, the huskiness of Taehyung’s voice striking his soul like a thunder, coming hard as fireworks sparked across the inside of his eyelids. As he painted Taehyung’s walls, the older's moans intertwined with his own, coming hard as well as it landed all over Jungkook's belly and chest.

 

It took them several minutes to recollect themselves, too lost in their post orgasm bliss, to finally come back to their senses. Jungkook was still deep inside of Taehyung, already soft and wet, their bodies glued through their chests where Taehyung released his pleasure. He then finally help the older off of his cock, having him falling heavily beside him in the mattress, totally fucked out, his whole body trembling. When they finally looked at each other, all covered in sweat with their bangs glued to their foreheads, they couldn't help the laugh that escaped their lips, so Jungkook snaked his arms around Taehyung to bring his head up his chest. "I fucking love you, Kim Taehyung", he said once his heart-rate got back to normal, only to have Taehyung shooting a "You better" back at him, making him chuckle before tightening his grip around the older's waist as they let exhaustion take over and the world shut down around them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said: trust me ;)


	20. Troubles in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know why you guys fought or why you are acting like two kids, but when it starts to affect the team, then yeah, I fucking care. So whatever it is, I suggest you two to fix it now, or I'll have to ask PD Nim to give you both a little cool-off time. And you know what happens when someone is politely asked to have a cool-off time, so, yeah. Pick wisely."

 

JK: Are we seriously having this conversation right now, Taehyung? - he asked skeptic as Taehyng sat right in front of him and aggressively took his cellphone away from his hands.

TH: Yes, Jungkook, we are. I won't tolerate you talking shit about me to others, and don't you fucking think I'm letting it slide just because we are not in good terms. Hey! Look at me while I speak to you!

 

 

[POV/ON]

 

Trouble in paradise indeed. Even since Taehyung started going to the meetings concerning his acting debut in the upcoming drama Hwarang, Jungkook have been acting sassy toward his boyfriend. At first, when their managers came and told Taehyung about it, Jungkook seemed just as excited as him, as they both got up and shared a loud high five followed by a tight hug, running straight to their hyungs to spread the news, both unable to contain their big smiles. It was Taehyung's dream, he wouldn't shut up about it since their early debut days, and seeing it about to become a reality was too good to be truth. Even though when the hype of the situation cooled off and Taehyung started to grow overly self-conscious about this whole situation, Jungkook was the first to snap him out of it and tell him that he could do it. "Everyone has to start somewhere, Taehyung. You'll do great, as you always do. Have confidence in yourself.", he said sincerely, and in that moment all of Taehyung's doubts faded and he went straight to his manager to tell him he was going to do it.

Everything was great, and everyone was so proud of their member - Jungkook was the proudest one, reminding everyone how his boyfriend was about to debut beside great actors. It was indeed awesome... until the meetings started. Somehow, Jungkook was not as pleased about that idea as he used to be, specially because Taehyung seemed to be getting a little to comfortable around his soon-to-be work buddies. His "hwarang hyungs", as he used to say, were way too fond of their maknae for his liking, going as far and sending him midnight vids on kakao just doing random things such as lying in their beds, riding bikes, singing at karaokes, or just anything as long as they got to remind him of how much they loved and missed "our cute maknae TaeTae". Jungkook was not the only one who started to get jealous about all this bullshit, and soon Jimin was on his side also thinking that this "friendship" was going way too far. Different types of jealousy, but same intensity. It was the last drop when Minho thought it would be a great idea to send Taehyung a snap, singing to _boy in luv_ while lying on his bathtub, fucking naked, his (hot) upper body totally exposed. Not only the damn vid was all too much, but the way Taehyung's bright smile reached his eyes the very second he opened it felt like hot iron burning Jungkook's skin. 

 

JK: Ya! Aren't this friend of yours a little too shameless? - he snapped, clenching his fists over his lap.

TH: What are you talking about? We are both men, what's the problem with it? - Taehyung retorted sarcastically, eyes never once leaving his phone.

JK: Is that right? Well, the fact that _we_ are also both men never stopped your boners whenever I'm shirtless, huh? - he snapped again, getting Taehyung to finally spare him a glance.

TH: Jungkook, are you jealous? - Taehyung then blinked a few times, still trying to process the younger's sudden outburst.

JK: Well, I didn't mean to, but your _dear hyungs_ are seriously making it really hard for me right now, don't you think? - he confessed shamelessly, already too fed up with that whole thing.

TH: Jungkook, are you listening to yourself right now? That's ridiculous! First of all, they are not even into guys, so, then again: what are you talking about? - he asked sitting straight and now clearly as annoyed as the younger.

JK: Well, I wasn't into guys. And as far as I'm concerned you also weren't. It doesn't mean shit and you know it!

TH: Wow, should I feel flattered that you are actually implying that anyone, straight or not, are simply going to fall head over heals for my irresistible charms? Damn, I should really use this superpower and get me a few sugar daddies while I'm at it! - Taehyung snorted sarcastically annoying Jungkook further.

JK: This is not what I mean and you know it. Stop trying to be a smart ass, will you? All I'm saying is that this is a little too much affection for a simply two month old friendship, so yeah, I think something is fishy and I don't like it! 

TH: Wow... So now you are the friendship expert! Sorry if my friends don't please you enough, my lord. I'll make sure to get rid of them so you won't have to punish me. Now if you excuse me, I shall retreat to my chambers. - The older retorted bitterly and left to his room, making sure to slam his door on his way in.

 

Needless to say Taehyung completely ignored whatever Jungkook said about his hyungs, and also gave him the cold shoulder for almost a week after that. Having the older one overreacting and actually getting pissed for more than 20 minutes was something very unusual, so Jungkook started to wonder if his jealousy was really that necessary or if he was just being a brat and blowing things out of proportion. But the, just when he had made up his mind and decided that he was indeed being a jerk and owed his boyfriend an apology, he walked in on the latter talking on the phone with one of them. "Aish... seriously, hyung, you are all handsome. I can't choose between any of you... Aaaish, why you guys keep doing it? So mean... Oh, for real? You liked my hair? Hyuuung, stop it, you're making me blush... Okay, I'll send you another selca. I'll hang up now. Bye hyung.". Just like that any drop of regret Jungkook might have felt disappeared completely, and now he wasn't only mad at them, but at Taehyung as well, because he was surely enjoying the attention. Plus, he just got an incredibly sexy red hair and Jungkook wasn't even aware of it until now. First thing he did as soon as he arrived home was take a selfie and brag about it to his goddamn hyungs? How about his boyfriend first like any other normal person? Despite how much he felt like running to him and grabbing a fistful of his brand new sinful hair that matched just perfectly with his tanned soft skin, Jungkook just scoffed and turned around leaving before Taehyung even realized he was there in the first place and walked to Jimin's instead.

 

JK: Hyung? You busy? - he said walking in the room to find Jimin sitting on his bed with his earphones on.

JM: Not really. What's it? - he answered removing his earplugs and motioning for the younger to sit on his bed beside him. He never asked before talking, unless it was something serious. Jungkook sat down and sighed. His eyes were red stained, and a little teary.

JK: I... I don't know, hyung. It's just... Taehyung and this... _Hwarang dudes._ \- he said, sounding extra bitter as the last word escaped his lips. - I mean, I know it's work. He's finally getting what he always wanted, and I should be happy for him. I AM happy for him, actually. But... - he trailed off and let out another deep sigh running his hands through his hair.

JM: BUT our Taehyungie seems to like his coworkers a bit too much? - Jimin completed his sentence knowing exactly what the younger have left unsaid. - I know. It bothers me too, you know, so you don't have to feel so bad about it.

JK: Seriously? You are not just saying it so I won't feel like shit, right? - he said finally making eye contact to Jimin who smiled warmly at him and nodded.

JM: Nope. Actually I even talked to Taehyung about it. I mean, they are all he talks about now, just always Minho this, Bogum that, Hyung-sik is so handsome, Seo-joon is no cool, bla bla bla. Aish... - now it was his time to sigh and Jungkook looked extra relieved that he wasn't alone at his annoyance - I get jealous too, you know? Some people say that when friends get jealous it's even worse than between a couple, and I can totally agree with it, now. 

JK: I know, right? I mean, what's even so special about them anyway? And they all seem so desperate for his attention like a bunch of high school girls! What the fuck...  

JM: Yeah... I mean, I kind of understand. Our TaeTae is really cute. Everyone loves him. And he's their maknae and shit, I mean, it's just like when you get a new puppy y'know? I don't really think they mean anything by that, but I can see why it bothers you so much. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be getting attention from other men either, no matter how cute she is.

JK: That's exactly my point. But like, I tried to talk it through with him, but he just doesn't understand or pretend not to. Seriously, he is such a bitch sometimes. He's been giving me the fucking cold shoulder for almost a week! A whole week!! Can you believe him? He got so much in my head with it that I actually started to think I was in the wrong here. - he blew out.

JM: Listen, Kookie... I really don't want to get into the "right" or "wrong" here, it's really not my place to decide it. But, at least I can agree with you that it sucks indeed. But Taehyungie is my best friend, so I guess I must play the devil's advocate here a little - he said and Jungkook rolled his eyes, knowing it would happen at some point, because at the end of the day Jimin and Taehyung always take each other sides - I know he can be a bit of a bitch sometimes, trust me, I really do. But you also know that he doesn't hurt people on purpose, that's just not who he is. Especially not you. What I mean is that I get that he's hurting you, but I'm sure he's just being dumb about it, other than mean. 

JK: How can he not know that he's hurting me if I told him so? I told him that I hate it, yet he chose to ignore it. He is hurting me on purpose, hyung, and I just don't know why. 

JM: Listen. Yes, you told him that his friendship with those hyungs are hurting you, but my point is that he doesn't see it that way so he doesn't get it. He knows that you are jealous, but it doesn't make any sense to him, so in his mind _you_ are being the bitch, not him. You see? Like I said: he's just being dumb.

JK: Okay, but if he's that dense this is still not my problem nor my fault, so why I should be the one apologizing? And what would I even apologize for, in the first place? "Hey, baby, I'm sorry for acting like any other boyfriend would towards your cheek ass friends."? - he said throwing his hands in the air causing Jimin to laugh.

JM: How about a "hey, baby, I think we need to talk shit through like two grown ass adults about it instead of ignoring one another like 10 year olds"? Sounds great to me! And you know Taehyung is not the one to apologize first, the idiot just keep sulking until the other part take pity on his stupidity and break the ice once for all.

JK: Yeah, I know... Still, this is really unfair. I don't think I'm ready to forgive him just yet. Seriously, he's 21 years old, he can't just not know that he's in the wrong. This is a relationship, is give and take, not just take. - he finished.

JM: Well... you have just as much right to be mad as he does, so take your time. It's not like he's going anywhere, anyway. You guys live under the same roof and are bonded by a contract, so... 

JK: When you put it like that it sounds really creepy. But yeah, I will. Thank you, hyung. Sorry to bother you. - he said giving him a final hug and walking away.

 

[POV/OFF]

 

Turned out this "two can play this game" thing lasted way more than anyone expected. It has been two weeks since Taehyung and Jungkook have been ignoring each other in and outside their house, and it was clearly eating them alive. At this point, they didn't even knew if they still had a friendship, let alone a relationship, and neither of them seemed to be able to sleep properly and have been walking around looking and behaving like depressed teenage zombies. It got serious enough for Namjoon to intervene before it reached a point where it couldn't be fixed at all.

NJ: Jungkook, we need to talk. And don't even give me this look, behave like you actually have manners, will you? - he said sitting in the couch beside the younger who have been playing this loud game on his phone for over a hour now.  

JK: I didn't mean to be rude, it's just I really don't want to talk about it, okay? - he said still staring at his cellphone

NJ: I'm sorry, young man, but I'm really not giving you an option here. I tried to let you guys sort it by yourselves, but it's clearly not working, so yeah, I guess I'll have to do it myself. Honestly, I don't care what happened, I don't know why you guys fought or why you are acting like two kids, but when it starts to affect the team, then yeah, I fucking care. So whatever it is, I suggest you two to fix it now, or I'll have to ask PD Nim to give you both a little cool-off time. And you know what happens when someone is politely asked to have a cool-off time. So yeah, pick wisely. - Namjoon blew out, full leader mode, startling the younger.

JK: Don't... don't you think you are being too harsh, right now? Are you seriously threatening us? Just like that? Threatening the fuck out of us? Seriously, hyung? - he retorted, finally turning to the other, eyes filled with hurt and shock.

NJ: I'm sorry, Jungkook, I really am. But if things ended up like this, I won't be the one to blame. Fuck this, I definitely won't. From the very beginning I made myself very clear about it, and not only me but everyone else. You guys wanted to be together, you guys wanted to take the risk: fine. We stood by you, we gave you our support. But we warned you that it should never affect the group, and you both agreed on it, you both assured us that you were mature enough to do this. And now what? This is being mature for you? Starving yourselves, losing sleep, acting like strangers underneath our roof...? - Namjoon wasn't sure when, but at some point Jungkook started to cry, and as much as it breaks his heart, he had to stand his ground.

JK: I... I'm sorry, hyung. I just... I never meant for things to be like that. I like Taehyung-fuck, I love him, okay, and you know it, our fans know it, everyone knows it. Just that idiot doesn't seem to fucking know it, and I'm done being the one to always fix shit! Why can't he just come and talk to me? Why can't he just own his crap like a man and fucking apologize already? 

TH: Excuse me, what did you just say? - Jungkook and Namjoon were too caught up in their own conversation to notice Taehyung had just entered the room and caught on Jungkook's last sentence.

NJ: Well, so you can't speak on a daily basis but you can fight? You guys are really something... Honestly, I'm just going to leave you two to it. And Jungkook: I meant what I said. Pick wisely. - he said as he got up giving Taehyung a bad eye and walking away.

JK: Are we seriously having this conversation right now, Taehyung? - he asked skeptic as Taehyng sat right in front of him and aggressively took his cellphone away from his hands.

TH: Yes, Jungkook, we are. I won't tolerate you talking shit about me to others, and don't you fucking think I'm letting it slide just because we are not in good terms. Hey! Look at me while I speak to you! - he said grabbing his chin and forcing the younger to look at him.

JK: Why? So you can continue to shout at me like a crazy person? Listen, I know I'm the youngest one here, but that doesn't give you the right to treat me as you please - he answered sharply, slapping Taehyung's hand away.

TH: You don't fucking dare to talk about rights when I just caught you talking shit on my backs! - he retorted just as mad, locking eyes with a fuming Jungkook.

JK: Well, it's not like I could talk to your face, since you've been acting as if I don't fucking exist, right, Taehyung? 

TH: As far as I'm concerned you are not talking to me either, so yeah, still not winning, kid. - he scoffed annoyed 

JK: DON'T. - he said firmly, eyes double its size - You know I HATE IT when you call me a kid.

TH: If you don't want me to call you a kid, maybe you should stop fucking acting like one to begin with. - he answered sarcastically, clearly not amused by the younger's anger

JK: I'M THE KID?? ARE YOU FOR REAL, TAEHYUNG?? - he nearly shouted, drawing looks from the staff before taking a deep breath and lowering his voice - You are the one that totally flipped as soon as I said something you didn't quite like. You are vexed once and give me seven fucking days of complete silence. That's adult enough for you, Taehyung? How about it? - Taehyung was decent enough to flush at his words, which cooled him off a little bit. The older just stared at him for a while before sighing and looking down.

TH: Listen, Jeongguk, I didn't mean for it to last that long, okay? I was just trying to cool off a little bit, but then you kept giving me that damn look as if I had done something wrong or owed you a damn apology for what? Having friends?? - he reasoned, trying to explain himself after feeling a sting of guilt for the first time since their quarrel started.

JK: I never expected you to apologize for shit, Taehyung. Well, at least not until you overreacted, then you bet I wanted you to at least feel bad about it for once. - he answered in a softer tone, clearly taken aback for the older's sudden change of mood.

TH: Maybe you should have just talked to me? - he said as if stating the most obvious thing ever

JK: Well, I wanted to but every time I was around you would glare at me as if I was the goddamn impersonation of evil itself! - he retorted

TH: I did not. - he said lifting his finger accusingly.

JK: Ask anyone! You totally did! 

NJ: You totally did! - Namjoon shouted from the other room. Not like they didn't expect the guys to be eavesdropping, but they thought they would at least be discrete about it.

TH: Okay. Maybe I did. A little. But you were no better! - he wouldn't go down without a fight, that's for sure.

JM: You were not! - Now it was Jimin's turn to be a fucking creeper and shout through the wall.

JK: Oh, you are taking Taehyung's side, I'm so surprised, Jimin hyung. - he answered ironically, pretending to be shocked.

TH: Are you guys seriously not even embarrassed about being fucking creepers? - he shouted back incredulous.

JM: If we gotta endure listening to you fucking, you bet we gonna listen to you talking. - he said and both Jeongguk and Taehyung blushed heavily at the remark, while Seokjin's and Namjoon's laugh could be heard. - So I'm gonna keep shamelessly listening until it gets silent, and then I'm gonna take it as a good silence in which you finally made up and started sucking face.

TH: Jesus, Park Jimin, just shut up already! - he finally stressed, and turned his attention back to Jungkook. Suddenly it didn't make any more sense to keep fighting, for the mood got way too comic and their hearts felt more at ease. - where were we?

JK: You were just telling me how much of an asshole you have been and that you were truly fucking sorry - nice try, Jungkook.

TH: Ha Ha Ha, so funny.

JK: You know I'm right, though. You seriously gonna tell me you don't think you totally fucking overreacted?

TH: I'll admit it if you admit you overreacted about Minho too - he stated  and stared at his nails teasingly and Jungkook sighed deeply, massaging his temples

JK: If you really think me being mad about a dude being obvious flirty towards MY BOYFRIEND is an overreaction, then fine, have it your way. - he finally gave up but Taehyung was too stunned to react. At the mention of the word boyfriend it was like a button inside his head was pressed and everything felt warm all of a sudden. - What? Why are you staring at me like that? - he asked at Taehyung's weird reaction

TH: Just... You calling me your boyfriend. - he blushed lightly and looked down at his feet trying to hide a smile creeping in - It's been a while... -  he said with a cheeky smile and Jungkook couldn't help but to smile too, also suddenly shy.

JK: Yeah... way too long, right? - they finally exchanged a glance - honestly... I wasn't so sure anymore. I mean, that you were still my boyfriend... I thought you hated me. - he blew out at least, the smile on his face being replaced by a sad frown.

TH: You seriously thought we were done after just one fight? - he asked sincerely, unable to hold a warm smile towards the younger one who nodded positively while biting his lips cutely, cheeks flushed. - Jungkook, I should seriously feel offended now. Do I really look THAT stupid? - at that Jungkook finally turned his gaze back at the older, a little confusion in his eyes - I would never break up with you over something that stupid, you idiot! I really... really... like you, Jungkookie. - he couldn't bring himself to say that he loved the younger, not after a fight and not knowing the others were listening through the thin walls. But he did. God, he really did.

JK: I really really like you too, Taehyungie. And I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. - he finally answered, eyes filled with overflowing fondness - I missed you like crazy - and that was it. That was all it took for Taehyung to nearly jump at him from his seat, throwing his arms around him in the tighter and warmer hug they ever shared, getting a cute giggle from the latter who lost no time in hugging him back just as hard.

TH: You are such an idiot. I fucking hate you sometimes! - he said never letting go of his boyfriend, as if trying to make up for all the excruciating days they have spent apart from each other, bodies aching from the loss of affection. - I wanted so bad to just hold you like that. God, I missed you so much more. - he whispered inside the younger's neck, savoring the privacy the intimate act granted them, not wanting to share their moment with the creepers outside.

JM: I guess that's my cue: fucking finally! Shit, just try and wait until we get home to make out, though. - Jimin shouted one last time and they both giggled at his remark. They were not "sucking face" as the older presumed. Yet, I might add.

TH: So... Jiminie might be a creeper but he really knows his shit, because if there's one thing I missed the most... - he said releasing Jungkook from his deadly grip just a little so they could face each other - ... is fucking sucking your bunny face. - he said closing his eyes for emphasis and Jungkook laughed at that, Taehyung following a few seconds later. They stared at each other for another second before leaning in at the same time and claiming each other lips slowly and sweetly, tasting the longing out of each other's tongue as if they had all the time in the world.

 

They had, indeed.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for reference, this was a little before they traveled for Bon Voyage 1, around 3 months before which was close to the time Tae took to prepare and shoot for the drama. Remember how Tae had to finish his shooting schedules so he couldn't go with them to Europe on the same day? And also he had his red hair in the moment they left, but as soon as he got in Europe he was back to brown? So yeah.


	21. Stigma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yeah, you are right, it really is all my fault. But I'm not to blame for falling in love. I'm the one to blame for actually thinking my own fucking family would support me instead of teaming up with the rest of this disgusting judgemental world!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one. Kinda unexpected too. Well, good luck!

 

NJ: Are you sure?

TH: No. 

 

It was the third consecutive day they rode their bikes all the way to river Han in the middle of night. Since their last comeback everything started to escalate real quickly, so they never really had the time to meditate about their new reality and how crazy things have been. Even when they barely had schedules they would still be rehearsing 24/7, so not having time to breathe properly is something they were totally used to, so there hasn't been changes about that. The biggest change they were experiencing now was the recognition; everywhere they went, even for a few minutes, someone would recognize them somehow, and then within seconds this someone would upload it somewhere on the internet, and then within seconds they would be surrounded and forced to leave. Having everyone suddenly knowing who you are, what you do, where you come from, where you are coming to... that was hard. When you genuinely do it for the sake of music and music only like Yoongi, Namjoon and Jungkook, not really bothering about fame and the entertainment industry itself, then it was even more overwhelming. Taehyung, Jimin and Jin, being their usual social-butterflies-selves, enjoyed it to a certain degree, so it wasn't as brutal on them, and Hoseok was still unsure about how to feel about it.

Taehyung and Jungkook were different to some extend and that's an understatement, but recently their differences started to scream a little louder. It was a daily argument: Taehyung wanting to go out and meet people, and Jungkook refusing to. They weren't a couple outside the privacy of their dorms, but they could still hang out as "friends" and Taehyung really wanted Jungkook's company whenever he went, so it was natural that it would bring some tension between them when Jungkook kept refusing his invitations, and this tension brought something else to the surface: their families also didn't know. 

 

NJ: I understand your reasons. I get that, unfortunately, not all families are open minded. They are not to blame, though. I mean, it's a cultural thing that have been shoved down their throats their whole lives, so... - Namjoon said in a failed attempt to comfort his dongsaeng.

TH: I know. It sucks, and it's not like I can hate them for it. But Jeongguk is 200% decided to tell his family, so how can I simply refuse to do the same? Hyung, I don't want him to think I'm embarrassed of him! It kills me that I can't go around yelling that the incredibly talented, blindly handsome and overwhelmingly cute Jeon Jungkook is my boyfriend, because damn, who wouldn't? So how in the fuck can I cope with him thinking that I don't? - Taehyung blurted out while ripping a handful of grass with his hands.

NJ: But you should just, like, talk it through or something? - he said finally looking away from the younger and into the vaste river in front of them. If only their souls could match its calm...

TH: We did! I mean... It was pillow talk, so... - he said blushing slightly, still staring at his fingers while he digged them in the ground.

NJ: Ohhh... Alright. I got it. Post orgasm bliss, there's romance in the air, everything seems easier... Believe me, I totally get it. That's how dumb marriage proposals happen. I almost did it once. At the age of 19. So, yeah... Anyway. - he answered in a very "can relate" manner, tapping Taehyung's backs slightly while scrunching his nose.

TH: Do you see how screwed I am? I mean, we had just fucking come together. And for what's worth he was even still inside of me, all sweaty and breathless and whispering sweet nothings in my ear... before I realized it I said "I love you so much, I wish the whole world would know it". Well, now look where it got me. - he finished and looked back at Namjoon whose brows were scrunched really tight and lips were parted as if he was choking up on his own words, face frozen. Taehyung blinked a few times before realization hit him and he blushed not so slightly this time, looking away and licking his lips nervously - Well, I guess that was way too much information. Shit, I'm so sorry, hyung, I guess I got carried away in trying to make you picture it. Well, can't take it back now. Anyway, you got my fucking point! - he gave up in his pointless apology ans watched as Namjoon gulped heavily and brushed his hair with his fingers attempting to recollect himself and recover from the hellish image of his two dongsaengs that has just been carved into his brain.

NJ: Uh... Well, man, I wish I had something nice to tell you about this, but... dude, pillow talk is intense shit. You can't possibly take back whatever crap you said in between four walls in a vulnerable state, y'know? Unfortunately, for being the older one, you are gonna have to take responsibility for it work it out somehow. - he said and watched as Taehyung's face seemed to fall all the way to the depths of hell and back - If you need to talk, you know where to find me. Welcome to adulthood, kid. - he gave one last comforting tap in his dongsaeng backs and motioned for them to go back home.

 

 

___________________________

 

_14:15 Jeon MyKook: Baby!!! I just did it!!!_

_14:17 Jeon MyKook: I confess it was the hardest thing I have ever done and Hyun-ie kept staring right into my soul the whole time._

_14:17 Jeon MyKook: I thought he was going to pass out ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ_

_14:18 Jeon MyKook: Mom was okay, tho. She said she felt it coming, she just never guessed it would be you._

_14:19 Jeon MyKook: (I guess it's true what they say about mom's soul being connected with their son's ㅋㅋㅋㅋ)_

_14:21 Jeon _MyKook:_ (Oh no, forget it, she thought it would be Jiminie. Fuck no mom...)_

_14:24 Jeon MyKook: ... Dad never said a word, he just sighed, nodded and then left... Should I be worried..?_

_14:25 Jeon MyKook: Anyway...  hwaiting!! Call me later and tell me how it went!_

 

___________

 

_Eon-Jinie that's not what you think... Of course we didn't start it on purpose, why would we??_

_Desperate for attention?? Fanservice?? ... I'm ... are you even listening to yourself right now??_

_We're not fucking "playing boyfriends". Listen! Whether you like it or not that's the truth, okay? Jeongguk and I are officially together, and guess what? We've have een for a fucking while right now, I just never told any of you and now I understand why I didn't do it earlier._

_You know what? I don't even know why am I still here listening to this crap. In case you forgot, and you keep forgetting it a lot lately, I am your older brother and I put way too much money in this house do deserve being disrespected like that._

_What are you even saying? You are not even religious, I'm-_

_Yeah, I'm totally going to hell for my terrible sins. I'll make sure to send you a postal._

_That's just... Honestly, I can't even tell if this is really happening or if I'm just having a bad dream because I really need to wake up then._

_I expected this bullshit from anyone in this house, but definitely not from you..._

_Yeah, you are right, it really is all my fault. But I'm not to blame for falling in love. I'm the one to blame for actually thinking my own fucking family would support me instead of teaming up with the rest of this disgusting judgemental world!_

_Don't worry, I'm not gonna "send dad to his grave by embarrassing him to death with my poor life choices", like you said. I'm leaving._

_Tell dad and mom something came up with work. Don't fucking bother calling me when your allowance ends, like you always do by the way. My sinner money might send you to hell together with me and we don't want that now, do we?_

_... I hope next time we see each other you can be a better person. I'm really sorry, but not for me. I'm sorry for you because no one deserves to be this ugly._

 

__________

 

YG: Taehyung? What are you doing here? And why in the fuck are you crying? - Yoongi stared in complete shock as a sobbing Taehyung stood in his front door in the middle of the night, backpack in hand.

TH: Hyung, I'm so sorry for appearing like this. I know it's not the best of times and your parent's health is not the best lately, but... God, I didn't knew where else to do. I'm so sorry, I'm such a nuisance... - he hiccuped in between sobs, almost falling to his knees before Yoongi reached out to hold him standing on his trembling legs. 

YG: Hey, what kind of bullshit is this, kid? You are not a nuisance and you can come whenever you want to. Let's get you inside, it's freezing out here. C'mon. - he said, eyes overflowing with worry as he brought his wrecked dongsaeng inside and loked them both in his room before his parents and brother could wake up.- Okay. Take this water and fucking tell me what in the seven hells happened for you to be like this? I thought you were supposed to be home??

TH: I was. - he said whipping his eyes and taking a deep breathe, finally being able to calm down - Actually, my parents doesn't even know I left yet. I got into an argument with my sister. - he said while fumbling with the hem of his shirt nervously

YG: That's all? - Yoongi's face fell into a confused state as he scrunched his own nape - I mean... aren't siblings supposed to fight? I thought you two used to fight a lot back then?

TH: It's... - he trailed off, exhaustion taking over his body as he allowed himself to lie fully in Yoongi's bed, using his shoulder as a pillow - It's actually way more complicated than that, hyung. It wasn't just a simple fight. She... God, I can't even talk properly right now. - he said as he felt the warm tears running over his face again - Jeonggukie and I... We decided to tell our families about us. - As he said it he couldn't miss the way Yoongi's breathe suddenly got caught in his throat - Yeah, it's huge shit, right? Well, he did it, and then he texted me and told all about it... I mean, it wasn't great but it went smooth enough. But then it gave me the courage to finally do it already, so I thought I should tell my sister first, y'know. - he continued and Yoongi nodded for him to keep going - But she... hyung, her reaction... - his shy tears becoming a whole waterfall again as his voice started to waver - I... I still can't believe the words that came off her mouth, hyung. - Yoongi's eyes suddenly started matching his, teary and miserable.

YG: Shit, kiddo... I... I don't even know what to say to you. - he gasped and held tight onto Taehyung's body, which seemed even smaller than his at this moment - What about Jungkookie? You told him about this yet?

TH: No. I couldn't. He's been texting me for hours and I can't even bring myself to reply something to him... - he said and both stood in comfortable silence for a few seconds - I can't tell him the truth, but I also can't lie to him, y'know? I don't know, I guess might just lose the rest of my fucking mind already. You know how self conscious he is about people. It would fucking destroy him, hyung. - he reasoned

YG: I understand... But you know that you can't run from it forever, right? Specially if you keep avoiding him like that. - he retorted and Taehyung nodded slowly - He might as well just think there's something wrong with you two, like, that you changed your mind about being together and shit...

TH: Never! - he interrupted with a new found energy - I mean... I would never. I love him. I finally found out what all that fuss about love actually is. Just thinking about him makes my day a lot better, and making him smile is something I could literally live off... - he said sincerely and Yoongi couldn't help the fond smile that crept over his face - Isn't love such a bitch? I mean, out of all places I found it exactly where it wasn't supposed to be...

YG: Taehyung, don't. There's nothing wrong with your relationship. I don't ever want you to think you were not supposed to fall in love with each other. Even tho it is hard, and I understand I was the first one to tell you that it was wrong, but... I was just trying to protect you from this world. But at the end it just couldn't be helped, and I'm actually glad you guys stood for yourselves. - he said and watched as Taehyung's breathe seemed to stead a little - Your relationship is a blessing, not a punishment. Taehyung, look at me. - he pulled the younger one by his chin so they were face to face - I mean it, okay? I'm no just saying it to make you feel better. I'm saying it because is the truth.

TH: Is it, hyung? - he asked in a broken voice that made Yoongi's insides turn - If it's really the right thing, then why the world keeps trying to make it feels so damn wrong?

YG: Because the world sux. The world is nothing but a stupid black whole filled with filth, with casual beautiful things to keep us distracted from the ugly ones so we don't go fucking insane. You will never be the problem. The world is. Okay? - when Taehyung finally nodded he whipped his tears away from his face and moved his bed covers so the younger could get inside - Good. Now let's get some sleep and tomorrow we can decide together what to do. Come, hyung will cuddle the life out of you like the old times.

TH: Sounds good. - he said smiling for the first time that day - But... just... what do I tell Kookie?

YG: Nothing much. Just apologize for disappearing. Say you went fishing with your dad or something and the signal was off. For now a little white lie is for the best.  he answered honestly.

TH: I think I'll just wait until we come back before I tell him... I don't want to ruin our trip. It's been so fucking long since we traveled together like this, the last thing we need is drama to screw it over.

YG: Wise decision, kid. Besides it'll distract you from everything and make things easier to deal. Also, maybe your sister just need time to think it through as well... EonJin is not like that... she's just shocked. She's gonna come around, I'm sure.

 

 

 

 

 

JM: What you mean you aren't coming? - Jimin asked as he ran around packing his stuff since the staff only gave them a few minutes to do so. 

TH: I need to finish recording. There's just a few scenes left to shot and I can't simply ask them to postpone shit just for my sake. Not like they would, tho.

JM: Dude, it's not even a vacation, that's a schedule. I mean, you can't simply not come. What the hell? - he said as he stopped packing just to stare at Taehyung who remained sit in the couch watching the mess around him in.

TH: I know, man. They said my flight is scheduled for tomorrow, so I'll be going anyway. Just... not with you guys.

JM: Oh... You are seriously going to travel all those hours by yourself? So boring...

TH: Better than not coming at all - he said with a shrug, optimistic as always.

JM: Anyway, make sure to not get lost because I'm so not in the mood to handle a Taehyung-deprived Jungkook for more than the necessary... - he said matter of factly while rolling his eyes.

TH: Is he really that bad when I'm not around? - he asked not being able to hold the cheesy box smile to spread all over his face

JM: Worse. Of course he would never admit it. "Are you crazy? Why would I even miss him? We are together all the time." - Jimin said on Jungkook's voice making Taehyung laugh - But he gets totally emo. Specially at the end of the day, when he instinctively looks out for you to show you the pictures he took. When he realizes you aren't around he does that head tilt thing and go to his room like a lost puppy.

TH: Aaaawwww my cute Kookie... Fuck this, I'm gonna kiss the fuck out of him right now! - he said rushing through the door before Jimin grabbed him by the wrist

JM: Ya, are you crazy? The house is filled with people, we are being recorded, remember?

TH: Oh... - he pouted - That's okay, I'll find a way. I always do - he finished wiggling his eyebrows and getting a punch with a "gross" in return before finally heading out.

 

 

 

TH: Jungkook-ah? Are you here? - he asked while getting in his room trying not to step over the clothes and shoes scattered all over.

JK: In here! - he yelled from his closet.

TH: Hey there, handsome. - he walked in with a mischievous grin on his face, snaking his arms around Jeongguk's waist.

JK: Someone is affectionate today, huh? - he answered trying to seem cocky in order to cover his flustered state. No matter how many more years pass, or how longer they stay together, Jungkook will never not get flustered around Taehyung and it'll never not get on his nerves.

TH: I missed you. C'me here, let me look at you - he said turning the younger around so now they were face to face. He saw the blush on Jungkook's face and smiled fondly at him - Cute... I love it when you have no make up on so I can see you blushing for me.

JK: Stop teasing me. It's not funny. - he said punching the older in the chest like a little whining kid. Even though he liked to pass out the strong grown man image, he was still a whole ass baby back home, and that's something only his hyungs were luck enough to see on a daily basis.

TH: How should I apologize, then? A kiss, maybe? - he said drawing the younger even closer, so now their bodies were totally pressed against each other.

JK: Hmmm... Not enough, but it's a start. - he gave his hyung his characteristic bunny smile before closing the space between them, and the kiss is too soft and intimate in a way that gets both their hearts pounding hard against their ribcage. Their mouths fit so perfectly together as always, and there's nothing Jungkook can do but to sigh into it and hold the older strongly but also so gently that it gets terribly painful to remember that they are going to be apart, even if it's just for a day. Taehyung, who was the first one to give his lips for him. Taehyung, who tastes like childhood's candies and dreams. Taehyung, who always reaches up to tangle his fingers in his brown locks no matter where they are. Taehyung, who never fails to shiver under his touch whenever he slides his tongue past his lips. Taehyung, who once were nothing but a friend but now carries the younger's whole damn world inside his big eyes and boxy smile.

 

  
When Taehyung finally started to slow their kiss down to a pace which their lips are merely touching and there's just their needy tongues reaching out for each other from outside their disconnected mouths, Jungkook's breath is shaky and the older is panting underneath him with his cheeks flushed and lips slick with spit. That's when he realizes all over again just how fucked up he is because he's sure that he's never going to see anything as beautiful as the man standing in his arms right now no matter how long he lives.

 

JK: I'll miss you. - he confessed.

TH: I'll miss you more. - he answed and brought their foreheads together, both with eyes still closed, silently listening to each other's heavy breathes, completely deaf to all the voices and noises coming from outside. And suddenly his sister's words didn't seem so painful anymore. And suddenly this world didn't seem so ugly anymore.

 

"We are going to be fine"

 


	22. In Bloom.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know you can't resist me, hyung... Don't fight it or it gets worst"

 

 

JK: I can’t believe I’m spending my birthday in Europe. – He said while scrolling through the thousands of pictures he took with his camera.

TH: How anticlimactic… You should have said “I can’t believe I’m spending my birthday with you” with heart eyes. – The older complained, pushing Jungkook by his shoulder and making him laugh.

JK: Taehyung, I spend literally all my birthdays with you. What are you even talking about? – the younger retorted playfully, glancing at the other.

TH: BUT – he started, putting his index finger up in the air – it’s the first birthday you spend with me as your boyfriend. – he reasoned and tickled the younger’s chin, cooing at him.

JK: If that’s so, than how about you stop doing this? – he said grabbing the older’s hand – I’m your boyfriend, like you said so yourself, so it’s about time you stop treating me like a baby. – he complained.

TH: Never. Wolf in the sheets, bunny in the streets! – the older answered successfully annoying the maknae, who whispered a curse through his pouty lips and pushed a laughing Taehyung away. – see? You are cute even when you are mad! – he then pulled the younger back to him, snaking his arms around his neck to keep him in place and snuggling up to him and sitting in his lap. – Sorry, I’m just joking. I know for a fact that you are _definitely_ not a baby anymore. Ok? – he apologized flashing the younger a boxy smile, knowing how weak the other was for this, and just like expected Jungkook’s pouty lips turned into a smile as well and he snuggled back to him, head resting in his chest and arms snaking around his waist.

JK: By the way - he started, throwing his head back so he could have a full view of Taehyung’s face – Europe is just a detail. It’s the hyungs, and, especially _my boyfriend_ , that makes it magical.

TH: Oooh, Jeongguk-si. Since when you are so greasy? – he teased, trying to overcome the overwhelming fluttering of his heart.

JK: Learned from the best. – he answered and flashed his characteristic bunny smile, eyes disappearing into crescents, melting whatever had left of Tae’s heart, who whispered a shy “shut up” before leaning in and molding their lips together in a sweet kiss. He tickled Jungkook’s ribs to get the younger to open his mouth and allow him to lick inside, warm and wet, slowly exploring every inch and tasting the ramyun they just had in the living room. He sucked wetly and noisily at the younger’s tongue before pulling apart, lips swollen and cheeks flushed.

TH: You think we can do it outside sometime? I mean, we are so far from home, it’s not like we are going to get recognized or something. – Taehyung asked tilting his head, left hand still caressing the birthday boy’s cheek, thumbing at his full lower lip – I really want to take you out on a date, y’know? A real date. Walking hand in hand, taking embarrassing selfies, having ice cream and then sharing some saliva in a romantic kiss under the sunset in a pretty public place, not giving two fucks about the people around.   

JK: Sounds like a plan. – Jungkook answered, a small smile in his lips and dreamy eyes – I’d love to. I never told you with words, but… - he then trailed off, blood rushing to his face and neck – I’m really proud of you. I mean… having you as my boyfriend. You are the most handsome, cute, talented and incredible person I’ve ever met, and I dream about the day that I can shout to the world that Kim Taehyung, THE Kim Taehyung is mine, and mine only. – he finished and then looked up to stare at the older’s teary eyes.

TH: I can’t believe you are making me cry in Europe. I’m fucking suing you. – he complained as the younger whipped a lonely tear that rolled down his cheek. – You… – he started sniffling – You seriously have no idea how much this words mean to me, Jeongguk. The last days… it have been hard, y’know?

JK: I know. I noticed it. Something happened during your trip home, right? – the younger inquired, his eyes never once leaving his boyfriend’s face as he silently nodded – I decided not to bring it up, so you could enjoy the trip. I knew that you were going to tell me when you were ready, so I decided to just wait. And I’ll keep waiting for as long as I have to. – he finished and Taehyung let out another small sob.

TH: How come you can be this perfect, seriously? Fuck you, Jeongguk. Just fuck you. – Taehyung whispered, his voice quivering from the crying – You can’t do it to me. You can’t just say this kind of things and attack my heart like this. I’m still your hyung, you know?

JK: Well, you said so yourself: in this house, it’s maknae on top. – the younger joked, finally getting a smile from Taehyung.

TH: We’ll see about that… _later_ – he said whispering the last word right into Jungkook’s ear, making him hiss.

JK: Birthday sex? Kinky… - he teased, pulling the older harder down his lap, a familiar heat starting to coil down his belly. He then grabbed him hard by the jaw with both hands and pulled him in a needy kiss, licking deep inside his mouth, a deep groan emerging from his throat when Taehyung pressed his ass down his growing. As soon as things started to get way too heated, their heard steps approaching and pulled apart breathless, worrying it could be someone from the VLive staff. Turned out it was Namjoon, who walked inside the room tapping something in his phone and then looked up at the couple sitting in the small couch, lips wet with spit and a mischievous smirk adorning their faces.

NJ: You know, when I said you could kiss him, it wasn't supposed to be taken seriously – Namjoon said, lips turning down in disgust, and the younger couldn’t help but to let out the laugh they were trying hard to hold.

It was the perfect birthday indeed.

 

 

 

YG: Are you seriously asking for favors after dragging me to that freezing water with you? - Yoongi scoffed at Jimin, who was pleading him to make him some pancakes.

JM: Hyuuung, don't be like this. I did it because I like you! - he tried his luck offering the older a cheeky smile, but the other remained unfazed.

YG: If that's how you like me, I miss the days when you hated me. 

JM: I never hated you, what are you even talking about? Everyone knows you are my favorite, hyung... - he pressed, pulling an offended face.

YG: Nope. Jungkook is the only good younger brother I have in this house. The rest of you can all just choke. - Yoongi state simply, flipping a pancake up in the air just to make a statement.

JM: That's outrageous! First: Jungkook only likes you because you treat him lamb skewers and allow him to mop at your studio. Second: I never hated you, what are you talking about? And third: you can't let a younger brother starve. That's against all morals and ethics! - Jimin retorted loudly, pulling onto Yoongi's thin arm annoyingly. - Seriously, hyung, those are smelling real nice. What do you want for it? I can do anything! 

YG: Now that's a very dangerous proposition to make, Park Jimin. Didn't I teach you anything? - the older said mockingly, taking his arm off of the younger's grip.

JM: I mean it. Hyung, you know I would do anything for you... - Jimin stated cutely, biting on his lower lip and batting his lashes at a still unamused Yoongi. 

YG: Don't offer what you can't provide, Jimin... I'm warning you... - the sudden change in the older's tone caught Jimin off guard, and seeing how the younger froze on the spot, a slight hint of pink creeping over his pale cheeks, Yoongi turned off the stove and cornered the younger against the counter, one arm on each side of his body, palms flat on the marble. - What? You were so talkative just now, did the cat ate your tongue? - Yoongi pressed, the corner of his lips turning into a smirk as he watched Jimin's adam's apple bob up and down. 

 JM: I... n-not really h-hungry - the younger stuttered, Yoongi never once backing off of his personal space, face calm and collected as if he didn't just shamelessly flirted with Jimin out of the blue. - 'sokay, hyung. I'll just... I'll grab something from the fridge. - he finished, succeeding in not stumble over his words this time.

YG: Getting shy on me? After all these years? Lame. - he said finally releasing the younger and going back to his pan like nothing happened - Anyway, you know what they say, Park Jimin: there's no such thing as a free lunch.

JM: I'm not fucking shy _._ You just caught me off guard, that's all. - Jimin retorted trying to recover a little of his pride, cheeks still tinted pink. 

YG: Jimin, your face is literally burning hotter than this stove right here - he teased, laughing.

JM: Shut up. - he hissed annoyed, pouting. - If my future son looks like a pancake I'm naming him Park Min Yoongi. You mean. - he added already reaching for the milk in the fridge to pour it over his cereal.

YG: Okay, you won. I'll make you some pancakes too. - The older gave up, rolling his eyes.

JM: For reals? - Jimin then asked, eyes shinning bright like a kid unwrapping Christmas' gifts.

YG: For reals. Just because you might have been _slightly_  cute when you got mad. _Just_ slightly. - Yoongi joked, putting extra emphasis in the "slightly" part.

JM: I know you can't resist me, hyung. Don't fight it or it gets worst. - the younger took the chance to tease back this time, wrapping his arms around the other and swaying their bodies together from one side to another.

YG: Don't make me regret it. Let go or I'm giving those to Jungkook instead. - Yoongi threatened, the small smile on his lips betraying his attempt to sound annoyed over the sudden skinship. 

JM: Only if you ask me nicely - Jimin teased further, whispering on the older's ear and tightening the grip on his waist. Yoongi responded by turning off the stove filled with raw pancake batter and turned his head so he could give Jimin a side glare. 

YG: Is this nicely enough for you?

JM: Okay, okay, okay. - the younger released him and lifted his arms in a surrender sign - whatever you want,  _hyung. -_ he finished, making sure to let the last word linger a little while in his tongue

 

It was not the first time Yoongi had point-blank flirted with him, but it was the first time he did it after Jimin had learned about what his and Hoseok's  _habits_. Even though Jimin, as well as everyone else, tried their best not to let this new piece of information change their perception nor behavior towards one another, there was this intriguing spark of curiosity that would occasionally ignite his senses. Somehow, he started to find himself staring at the older rather often, just outlining the details of his figure with his eyes, studying the way he would munch on his tongue whenever he was too lost in thought, or the way he would scrunch his nose and make this weird slurping noise whenever he was looking for something, or how he would press his hands firmly against his nape while closing his eyes and taking a deep breathe when his body started giving out exhaustion signs, or even how fondly he would watch the members from a comfortable distance whenever they were up to something stupid. "Whipped as fuck" was the expression Hoseok whispered at him while wearing an annoying smile in one of the occasions he was caught staring. Of course he denied it, shooting back a "aren't you mistaking me for you, hyung?", but even Taehyung took notice of it and started to subtly (or at least as subtle as Mr. obvious Taehyung could be) imply that maybe,  _just maybe_ , he might have been catching feelings for the older, reasoning that that's just how it started with Jungkook: an innocent and harmless infatuation, that could have been easily mistaken with some sort of  _special friendship_ \- except that they kissed the confusion away instead.

 

JM: What are you even suggesting, Taehyung? - Jimin asked through chapped trembling lips. It was a particular cold morning to hike, but Taehyung insisted and he was indeed in need of some alone time with his best friend to talk some things through. 

TH: Don't ask me that unless you mean it, Chim. - the taller answered while pointing his polaroid camera right into the other's face. - You know I'm not good with half-truths.

JM: I know - he answered while dodging Taehyung's camera - That's exactly why I talk to you for advice.

TH: Okay then. Please, sir, take a sit. - he joked while motioning for Jimin to sit in a wooden bench beside the mountain track. - So... let's start from the beginning. You were saying that Yoongi hyung 's been catching your attention lately. Elaborate, please.

JM: It's kind of weird, actually. I mean, you know how hyung and I have always been close. Just the same as Gguk and Jin, right? - he started and Taehyung nodded silently - It was never such a big thing, we all admire hyung very much, obviously. But... I don't know. Now it's like... different? Like, it's not just a regular admiration feeling? As in it's totally different from how I feel towards Hobi, Monie and Jinie, for example.

TH: When did it start?

JM: I don't know. Kind of right after I caught him and Hobi hyung on the plane? At first I couldn't stop thinking about it, but it was obviously from the shock and everything. But then as the days passed it just kept stuck in my brain, y'know? Like, I thought I was disgusted, but then I realized I was actually curious, as in curious about how would that feel, y'know? How would it feel to be kissed by Yoongi? Would he treat this person any differently? Does he treat Hobi differently when they are alone? That's the kind of question that started popping in my brain all of a sudden. 

TH: But isn't it just because you might be jealous? I mean, like you said so yourself you both are very close, so you might have felt betrayed because turned out the one he had a special relationship with wasn't you. - he reasoned after a few seconds of silence.

JM: I thought about that too. It would make sense to feel jealous, I mean, you know how Ggukie get jealous of me sometimes, right? - Jimin pointed out and Taehyung nodded with a "he's scary sometimes" - So... I don't know. How do I find out? It's kind of really starting to get weird and I'm not feeling good about it. Seriously. 

TH: You should just test it, then. - he taller said simply , shrugging. 

JM: What do you mean? I don't get it.

TH: Just kiss him. That's how I learned about my feelings towards Ggukie. - he explained, expressionless, as if he was suggesting a dinner menu instead of a goddamn kiss between Yoongi and Jimin.

JM: You crazy?? How in the fuck can I do it?? Oh my God, Taehyung!

TH: Dude, chill. You are overreacting as if I told you to do something that is totally out of question! Well, flash news: it's not. First: we know for a fact that hyung is obviously not opposed to kissing guys. And second: you guys are each other's platonic crush since forever, so shut the fuck up. I say you just go to him and talk it through. Be honest with him. Say that you have been having this weird feelings lately and you are up to some _experimenting._ I bet my left arm that he'll be cool with it. It's Yoongi we're talking about here, man. Cool and Chill are his first and middle names. 

JM: I- Jimin tried, taking a deep breathe and reflecting on Taehyung's words. Shit is: it make sense. A fucking lot of sense. - I'll think about it.

 

   

Jimin shouldn't have listened to Taehyung. He really shouldn't. He should have trusted his instincts and forgotten all about it, just let it go and wait for the day he would wake up feeling normal again. Except he didn't. He also shouldn't have accepted Yoongi's offer to go out to have a meal, and specially shouldn't have ordered that many soju bottles. 

 

YG: Excuse me? - to say Yoongi nearly choked on his piece of meat would be an understatement. He actually turned the table into a spit mess in the moment Jimin let that out. 

JM: I asked if you could kiss me, hyung. 

YG: Are you..? Jimin, are you serious? Seriously, how much did you have to drink? You can't just joke about things like that, I could have died choked on a freaking beef!

JM: Hyung... I might not be really sober, but I'm not joking. I mean it. I want you to give me a kiss. A real kiss, like you do to Hoseok hyung. - Jimin repeated himself, his eyes never once leaving Yoongi's incredulous ones. Kudos to the courage alcohol can give people.

YG: Uh... okay. - Yoongi recomposed himself, crossing his fingers over his face with his elbows on the table, thoughtful. - First of all: where did it all came from? What's it all of a sudden like that?

JM: It's not sudden! Well, for you it is, but... not for me. I've thinking about it for a while, actually. I wouldn't really do shit about it, though, but Taehyung convinced me I should just deal with it once for all, so... yeah. I might be having a crush on you lately, and I seriously need to see what's it about.

YG: So, basically, you just dead ass said you have a crush on me and you want me to kiss you so you can figure out how bad it is? - Yoongi echoed Jimin's words, still not fully believing his ears.

JM: Pretty much.

YG: But you haven't considered the fact that I might not want to do it? - Yoongi pressed further, eyes narrowed.

JM: Hyung, I'm sorry, but... I honestly don't think this is the case here. I'm not that bright, but it's obvious enough that I catch your attention! Come on, playing hard to get now?

YG: I'm not playing shit, okay? I'm just trying to figure this out. I'm not sure it's a good idea, I mean... if you don't like it, then fine, we can just forget about it and go on with out lives. But what if you do? I mean, what if you figure out you have actual feelings for me? Then what? Jimin, things are not that simple, we are not just strangers who met up in a bar, we are _family_.

JM: I know. That's why it took me so long to say anything. But I have a hunch you had already noticed my change of behavior... right?

YG: Yeah, I guess... I just... I thought maybe I was just crazy or something. Anyway, that day when I cornered you... I was actually fishing for it. Turned out I was right.

JM: Whatever. Anyway, are you doing it or not? - he blurted out impatiently, slidding on his seat so he was only a few inches apart from the older, their thighs touching.

YG: Whatever is my answer, you don't really expect me to do it now, do you? - Yoongi said while taking a few inches of distance from the boy who was way too close for it to be seen as just a friendly dinner between two friends.

JM: Well, that would be really great, but we are kind of in public, so... - he retorted with a cheeky smile, his eyes disappearing into two adorable crescent moons - So, you never actually answered me. - He asked again, licking his lips slowly while his eyes fell to the older's thin lips.

YG: Well, since you insisted  _so_ much... - he answered cockily, getting a slap from Jimin who blushed heavily as soon as realization hit him. 

JM: Tonight? - he asked in a whisper, feeling shy for the first time since the alcohol clouded his senses.

YG: Deal. 

 

Their way home was the longest Jimin have ever experienced. He kept checking on the velocimiter and was so close to yell at the taxi driver to just go faster, but it was his damn problem if he was just so eager to get home. On the other hand Yoongi seemed just as unbothered as always, leaning against the window with his arms crossed over his chest and eyes closed, dozing off. It was actually the first time Jimin hated having a fast metabolism, because he was almost totally sobered up and his decisions started to weight down on him. He stole a glimpse at the man sitting beside him, peaceful and handsome as ever, and wondered once more if he had lost his mind once time for all because that was clearly a terrible idea, but then the butterflies in the pit of his stomach kept assuring him otherwise. Anyway, if they end up doing it or not, he already spilled all the beans, so what would even be the point of wasting that embarrassment away? 

 

YG: Okay, so... how do you wanna do it? - Yoongi asked as soon as they got home, while throwing his coat in the couch dismissively.

JM: Don't know... how do _you_  want to do it? I mean, since you are kind of doing me a favor and shit... - Jimin froze on the spot and stared right at his feet, unable to see Yoongi smiling fondly at him.

YG: Jimin, look at me, will you? How do you expect us to actually do it if you can't even look at me, huh? - he said while reaching for the younger's chin and lifting it up - That's better. Now, for starters, I'm not doing you any favor. I wouldn't even consider doing it if I though it was just a favor. I'm doing it because I want to, and that's all. And second: you should be the one to decide since you are the shy one here, kid.

JM: Ok, I get it. So... well, I'm up to anything... I mean, as long as we don't actually do it here in the midle of our living room. - he snorted - I know you can be a little voyeur, but that's really not my thing.

YG: I'm not a voyeur, you insolent child. I just don't care enough to be mindful of the things I do at home, that's all. I mean, we need to be mindful everywhere else, so why stress even here? - he stated with a shrug

JM: You have a point... Still, I'm not too fond of being walked in, so... 

YG: Do you want to go out, then? I mean, we could always just go to a park or something...

JM: No, it's okay. I mean, let's just... as long as we keep the lights out we'll be fine, right? Is pretty late... 

YG: Sure. Whatever you need. C'me here. - He took the younger by the wrist and guided both to the couch, turning the lights off so they weren't visible to any possible intruder. They sat close to each other, Yoongi turning at him to scan his face thoughtfully - So, I'm going to ask you again: are you sure?

JM: Yes, I am. - He said in a whisper, releasing a breathe he had been holding for way too long. Yoongi smiled softly and then took a deep breathe as well before raising his right hand to cup Jimin's soft cheek."Close your eyes", was all Jimin heard before a pair of warm lips met his.

 

Jimin wasn't innocent - way far from that, if he was going to be honest - but there was something about this particular kiss that just made it feel like a first. Maybe it was the intoxicating drill of the danger in getting caught, or maybe it was about kissing someone more experienced, or maybe it was about kissing a hyung. Just any maybe as long as he didn't have to admit it was Yoongi who made him feel like that, so small and inexperienced like a teenager trapped in an adult body. The way the older's lips moved against his, tentatively sucking as if testing the waters to see if it's safe enough before drowning completely, and Jimin could do nothing but try and greedily imprint every second of that in his mind so he would never forget just how good and soft Yoongi's lips felt, and how he could still taste the soju they had back in the restaurant. 

Yoongi was never the one to get lost in a moment, for his overthinking habit would never let him relax completely no matter what he was doing. Yet, he found himself slowly reaching this unknown state of nirvana in which every sensation seemed amplified and he was completely unaware of anything but that sweet nipping of thick lips. Jimin was tense and uncertain of his movements, which only ignited even more the fire rising in Yoongi's insides, seeing how flustered the younger was because of him.

Eventually Jimin buried his fingers in the older's soft locks to bring him closer and kiss him back properly, and it was also Jimin who bit down on Yoongi's bottom lip to gain access to his mouth and deepen the kiss. Their tongues met and swirled around each other in a excruciatingly slow dance, tasting and exploring every inch, only the wet noise of their encounter and the muffled groans escaping their throats filling the silent room. It was nothing like kissing Hoseok, Yoongi realized. It was not just a horny exchange between friends, and that's what scared him the most. Kissing Jimin just felt... right. There was a romantic feeling to it, and that wasn't something neither of them have ever experienced before.

Neither could tell for how long they kissed, but soon they had to break apart cus Jimin was feeling light-headed already for the lack of oxygen - kudos to Yoongi's rapper lungs. Over his racing heart and the throbbing sound of his blood rushing in his ears, the younger nearly missed Yoongi's "wow", which managed to bring him back to earth as he lazily opened his eyes, only to met the older's dark clouded orbs staring right down at him over the moonlight shinning through the window, lips swollen and spit slick. Luckily they were sitting, or Jimin's knees might have given in. 

 

YG: Well, that was... - Yoongi started, voice hoarse and weak.

JM: Amazing. - Jimin finished, his eyes never leaving the other's. 

YG: Yeah, I think it sums it up nicely. - he added with a smirk - You better take responsibility if I lost my sleep thinking about this, Park Jimin.

JM: I hope you do. And you bet I will. - Jimin said with a smile before leaning in again, because even though their kiss had been way too long for it to even be called an "experimental" thing, it still didn't felt quite enough. Gladly Yoongi seemed to believe so to, as he instantly parted his lips for the younger welcoming his tongue back home again. 

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YoonMin on da house! \o/


	23. Gay sex. Butt sex. Homo fucking. Whatever you wanna call it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JM: How do you do it? How is it? How does it feel? - the smaller said in one breathe, eyes filled with curiosity.
> 
> TH: Uh... Chim, what the fuck are we even talking about here? - asked a very confused Taehyung
> 
> JM: Sex. Gay sex. Butt sex. Homo fucking. Whatever you wanna call it. - Jimin elaborated and Taehyung's mouth dropped. He stared at his friend with narrowed eyes, trying to see wether or not he was being serious or just fucking with him. Turned out Jimin's face was still dead serious.

 

Taehyung woke up with his world shaking. Not poetically, but literally speaking. He opened his eyes slowly and got startled as he saw a blurred vision on top of him.

TH: What the fuck? - he shouted jumping on the bed and waking Jungkook up as well.

JM: Good morning to you too. And please, put on your clothes, will you? - Jimin said dismissively as if he didn't just got into Taehyung's room in which he was sleeping - very much naked - with Jungkook, as usual. Gladly he had a thin sheet on - not that it wasn't thin enough for both their bodies and morning woods to be perfectly outlined. His eyes grew big its size once he realized the situation he was in and he sat up hurriedly, pulling a very sleepy Jungkook on top of him in order to cover himself with the younger's broad body.

TH: Ever heard about knocking!? - Taehyung shouted at his friend, who just rolled his eyes at him. Jungkook just scoffed and proceeded to resume his sleep, not at all amused by the whole situation.

JM: Nothing I have never seen before, so get over it. Plus: I did knock. A lot. Hard enough to wake the whole dorm. Take easy on the sex or you might get yourselves in a coma, huh? I will wait for you on my room. Get dressed already and meet me there, or else I'll come back and take pics! - Jimin blackmailed before leaving the room.

 

 

TH: What's so damn urgent that you had to wake me up at fucking 7 am? - he said throwing himself at the other's bed, purposely landing painfully over him.

JM: How do you do it? How is it? How does it feel? - the smaller said in one breathe, eyes filled with curiosity.

TH: Uh... Chim, what the fuck are we even talking about here? - asked a very confused Taehyung

JM: Sex. Gay sex. Butt sex. Homo fucking. Whatever you wanna call it. - Jimin elaborated and Taehyung's mouth dropped. He stared at his friend with narrowed eyes, trying to see wether or not he was being serious or just fucking with him. Turned out Jimin's face was still dead serious.

TH: Ok. Where the fuck did it come from? Seriously, I'm so confused. Please, help me a little.

JM: Yoongi hyung. We kissed last night. - Jimin squaled as he rolled on the mattress like a child, being followed by Taehyung who pulled him in a thigh hug while squealing as well.

TH: A kiss kiss? With tongue? - he inquired once they stopped screaming.

JM: Of course! A goddamn kiss, bro. The best I've ever had, I swear to God! No offense, though.

TH: None taken. Anyway, when did that happen?? How??

JM: So... remember how last night we went out to eat? Kookie was supposed to go as well, but all of a sudden he bailed on us... I wonder if you had anything to do with it? - Jimin asked suspicious, Taehyung pnly shrugging with a "maybe" before laughing and adding a "you're welcome". - Anyway, might have had way too much too drunk, because you know I can't fucking keep my shit together. 

TH: So you were drunk.

JM: I was happy, okay, it's different.

TH: Whatever gets you to sleep at night, buddy...

JM: Anyway, like I was saying, I got a little too happy, and before I realized what the fuck I was even doing, I dead ass asked him to kiss me. Just like that. Out of fucking nowhere.

TH: You did not! - Taehyung asked in disbelief.

JM: Yes, sir, I did! Can you fucking believe it!?

TH: And you still fucking dare to say you weren't drunk... Bitch, please. So, what did he do??

JM: What he was supposed to do: he was shook! Like, he dead ass droped his phone on the table and stared at me as if I had grown a new head or something.

TH: Well, that was understandable.

JM: Indeed! So he asked, like, ten times if I was being serious or if I was just fucking with him. He wouldn't believe me until I told him all about my crush and how you suggested that I should just fucking try and do something ir order to be sure.

TH: Bitch, you had to expose me??

JM: Listen, it was necessary, ok? Plus, you owe me. Let me remind you that I was the one who suggested that you should just get into Jungkook pants to save your life already. 

TH: And I shall be eternally grateful. Oh, boy, and how! - Taehyung retorded and bit his lips mischievously, earning a "gross" from the other.

JM: So, then he fucking said "alright if you insist, but bitch you better not regret it later", and then I was "bitch of course I won't regret it, who would honestly?" and he went "ok, so we'll do it when we get home" and I was like "sounds good to me" but you know that I was actually screaming internally. 

TH: Ok. That was... Surprisingly easy. I told you he had a fucking crush on you! Geez, no one ever trust my judgements in this house... - he pouted.

JM: I do! Otherwise I wouldn't have listened to you in the first place! 

TH: Fair enough. So, now to the interesting part: how was it?? And do not spare me of the details, I want to know everything! 

JM: Then as soon as we got here, I started to get really self conscious, you know? Like, when reality hits you really hard? But he was just so cool. Seriously, he was totally calm and casual, like we weren't just about to fucking kiss!

TH: Aish, Yoongi hyung is so cool... 

JM: I know right? So he was like "how do you want to do it?". I mean, how fucking manly? Then of course I got even more embarrassed. He then turned off the lights so it would be more private, and we sat on the couch. And then he asked me to close my eyes, and... that's it.

TH: That's it my nicely fucked ass. You better give me more than that since you woke me the fuck up!!

JM: Ok, ok! Geez... So he kissed me. I kind of freaked out at first, I don't even know. Suddenly I had no idea of what to do with my lips, or my hands, just like it was my first time ever, it was so damn embarrassing, man. But then, like, he felt how nervous I was and I guess it kind of... turned him on? Because like, he kind of inhalled really deeply and then he grabbed my face with very strong hands, and... Shit, I never thought I would ever feel nice about being manhandled, but holy shit, I'm just... - Jimin squealed again, and Taehyung cooed at him, poking him at his ribs - I couldn't help myself then, so I just fucking bit his lips and deepened the kiss right away. Fuck! His tongue, bro... the things he can do to it, you wouldn't fucking believe it! - Jimin confessed as he felt his cheeks burning heavily, bringing his hands over his face while Taehyung grinned at him bitting at his nails. 

TH: So is hyung's _tongue technology_  for real, huh, Jiminie? - Taehyung teased grinning even harder.

JM: Fuck yes! - Jimin answered with determination and both shared a loud and warm laugh. 

TH: So... are you guys, like, something now? 

JM: No. I mean, it happened only a few hours ago, so obviously we still haven't talked it through. - Jimin reasoned

TH: And how do you feel?

JM: I'm not sure. It's kinda scary now, you know? I'm not sure how we are going to react when we bump into each other in a few.

TH: Oh, man... the morning after is the worse. That day, after Jungkook and I first kissed, I thought I was going to die. Do you remember I woke up really early?

JM: Dude! I do! Remember how I tried talking to you about Jungkookie and how we had to get him a blind date? Dude!! - Jimin remembered and laughed out loud at how clueless he was back then.

TH: You had no idea how bad I was panicking at that moment. I was literally losing my fuckign shit and you were not helping! I was so scared he would regret it and wake up hating me... Because well, he was drunk and it was his first kiss and I had no idea if he would be okay with it in the next morning. - Taehyung said while smiling softly, reminiscing the old memories.

JM: That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. I don't regret it at all, but what if he does? - the smaller one worried

TH: Not to be a party pooper or anything... But at the very beginning Yoongi hyung was the one I first talked to. Back then, he was really harsh with me. He literally told me to drop it, because there was no way a relationship between members should happen... - Taehyung said and watched as Jimin's eyes fell and his lips turned down. - Chim... are you liking him? Like, really liking him?

JM: I guess? I thought it was just curiosity, that it would go away as soon as I killed it. But it didn't. Actually, it got even worse. It felt so right, I can't possibly put it into words... When we kissed, it was like fireworks exploded inside my eyelids or something, and I swear to God I'm not just being cheese. Legit. I never experienced anything like it before. - Jimin blew out and Taehyung gave him an empatethic smile.

TH: Believe me, Chim: I know exactly what you mean. I don't have to remind you of how much I tried lying to myself and running away from my feelings towards Jungkook... To be honest, sometimes I still kind of wish I would just wake up and look at him and feel nothing, so life would be easier for both of us.

JM: It is hard, right? - Jimin asked, but it wasn't really a question. He then rubbed small circles on Taehyung's thigh, trying to provide him some sort of comfort.

TH: You have no idea... Anyway, enough about me. Let's go back to you. - Taehyung said whilst shaking his head as if trying to get rid of the thoughts that flooded his mind - So, about your question. The very first one. Are you... Jimin, do you want to have sex with hyung? - Taehyung finished, whispering the last sentence.

JM: I don't know?? I mean, I can definitely say that kissing him gave me the feels, man. I swear to God, as soon as I got to my room my underwear was wrecked. Like, totally. 

TH: But... It's normal to have boners when you are making out, it doesn't really mean anything.

JM: We didn't make out, man, we just kissed innocently. His hands never left my face, not even once, and I also didn't dare to touch him at all. And I might be deprived for God knows how long, but it was the first time in years I got a damn boner just from kissing!

TH: Dude, come on. There's literally nothing innocent about french kissing no matter how you look at it. Specially when it's the first time in a long while. Maybe you have been kissing the wrong people all along.... Jesus, I always end up wrecked whenever Jungkook kisses me. It's a shame, really. I feel like a virgin. - Taehyung scoffed.

JM: Well, but Jungkookie is a great kisser, though... I can't blame you.

TH: I know right? Damn, is that anything that boy can't do? Fuck... and his mouth is so warm all the damn time, you have no idea how heavenly it feels on my d-

JM: I GOT IT, I GOT IT! - Jimin cut in, clearly not wanting to hear about his precious Kookie's oral abilities. - honestly, Kookie is never not going to be a baby for me, and I know what I asked, but still I would be glad if you would just answer me without actually giving me any unnecessary details. - Jimin said while covering his ears, having Taehyung rolling his eyes at him and mouthing a "fine, dammit".

TH: Okay. First things first, then. I need to know a few things before we start. First: have you ever fucked a butt?

JM: Not at all. All the girls I ever hooked up with never even mentioned it, and I didn't dare to as well. You know how it can be a taboo to a lot of people, and I didn't want to come off as e pervert or something. - Jimin answered honestly.

TH: Okay. And have you ever fingered yourself while masturbating?

JM: Definitely not. God, I never even considered it!

TH: That's going to be a problem... You see, Yoongi is definitely a top. But then I had never fingered myself before either...

JM: I can't even believe I'm going to ask you this, but... You and Kookie: who tops?

TH: We both did. The first time... I topped. He was too insecure and scared to hurt me. But then the second time he topped. It was actually the first and last time I topped, to be honest.

JM: How did you even decided it? I mean... What if you both have the same preference?

TH: Honestly, there's no "bad" when it comes to it. Top is great, bottom is also great. But I love to bottom. I guess it's true what they say then once you discover your prostate, there's no turning back. Like, it feels good to be manhandled, right? Jungkookie is really pliant towards me, though. He tops but I'm always in charge, somehow. - Taehyung elaborated and Jimin was clearly getting very confused. The logistics of gay sex were clearly way more complicated than he thought. When you have straight sex there's no other way around; biology determines either you fucks or get fucked (unless you are the kinky dildo-stripe-type, but let's not get into it) -  Jungkookie never really complained, nor asked to bottom, so... I guess he's okay with it? 

JM: But... it doesn't hurt? - Jimin asked innocently. 

TH: It would be a lie if I said it didn't. It totally does, like, quite a lot.

JM: Then how can it be good?

TH: I don't know, seriously - Taehyung answers and then he laughs at his own answer, because it's true - You know when your dick is totally swollen from excessive stimulation, to the point you totally hiss at the touch, but yet you are too aroused to care so the pain actually feels really good at that moment??

JM: But then as soon as you come all that is left is the pain and you feel like an idiot for going too far? - Jimin completed his reasoning with a laugh as well.

TH: Yes! It's totally like this! - and then they laughed together, until tears started prickling in the corner of their eyes - Like, when you are horny, man... the pain makes it even better, if that makes any sense. And plus: the sweet spot, bro... BRO.

JM: Okay, now I'm curious. Fuck you, Taehyung, you are turning me gay! - Jimin joked, punching Taehyung lightly in his shoulder. 

TH: I'm not sorry... - Taehyung shrugged, lifting his hands up in defense. - So... what are thinking about doing with this huge piece of information? - Taehyung inquired, his brows lifting up in curiosity, as he stared at his best friend's flustered face.

JM: I have absolutely no damn idea.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I might warn yall that some angst is bound to come...... Be prepared.
> 
> Thanks so much for all the kind reviews <3 you guys are seriously the best!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> twt: proudarmy_br


	24. Beyond Repair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "From the very beginning, when you joined Bangtan, I knew it was a mistake.  
> You were this feminine kid, jumping around like a fucking deer, hugging men all the time.  
> From day one, I knew you were a disgrace, and turned out I was right.  
> Not only your talent resides in nothing but your face (remember to thank you God for it),  
> but also you are a faggot. A goddamn faggot."

 

JK: Just tell me you want to end things already! There's no reason for you to be playing with me like that. Just fucking say it, Taehyung! - the younger shouted, heavy tears falling shamelessly from his eyes while Jin kept his hold on him, trying to make him calm down.

TH: Fine. We are done. - The older finally said and ran to his room, being followed by a shocked Namjoon.

 

Jeongguk's knees finally gave out as he fell to the floor, sobbing hard. Jin kneeled down right beside him and took him in a suffocating hug, his own eyes tearing up as well as his precious maknae kept crying desperately on his chest.

 

NJ: Taehyung! Taehyung, can you fucking listen to me? Open this door or I'm breaking in! - the leader kept knocking on his shared room's door with no success. A few minutes later and he was sitting down at the corridor, already giving up on getting any sleep, when he finally head it being unlocked and a puffy faced Taehyung stood by it, eyes extremely swollen from crying. 

TH: I'm sorry... I just really needed some time alone.

NJ: Yeah, I can see that. Can I come in now?

TH: Yeah... I'm sorry again, this room is yours too.

NJ: Mind telling me what the fuck was that all about? - Namjoon sat on Taehyung's bed, in order to make it clear enough that he wasn't going anywhere before they talked things through.

TH: I... I don't even know, I guess I just... got fed up? - Taehyung started blowing his nose in a tissue, tears running lazily down his face.

NJ: What do you mean by fed up? You got tired of him, is that it?

TH: No! No... it's not about him... I- I love him, hyung. - he confessed as more tears made their way out his eyes - He's perfect. We are perfect. It's just... Hyung, it's so hard. So fucking hard. - he said and he was sobbing now, hiding his face in his sweater's bear paws. The sight broke Namjoon's heart in million pieces.

NJ: Is it about your family?

TH: About my family, about the managers, about you guys, about the fans, about the whole goddamn world! Just... everything. Everything sucks and I'm so tired of it all! I'm so fucking tired of life being so unfair! Why can't we just love each other freely?? Why, hyung??? - Namjoon then got up and reached to the younger, getting him in a thight embrace. He wish he could help, but he couldn't. The world really was a stupid ugly place and he can't fix it. Not for Taehyung, not for Jungkook, not for anyone. - If we are supposed to keep hiding, to keep acting as if we are nothing to each other, then what's even the fucking point? Why should we keep dragging it any further? You were right all along... something like this is faded to an end from the very beggining... I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it, because now we are both broken beyond repair.

NJ: Shhh, everything is going to be alright. - Namjoon soothed - we always fix everything. We'll fix this too. One way or another. Trust me.

 

 

 

[20 days before]

 

TH: Could you please stop touching my boyfriend for a goddamn second, or is it too much to ask? - a fuming Taehyung came through the doorway straight to his best friend, with crazy eyes.

JM: Excuse me?? - Jimin asked because he was indeed confused.

TH: Is it not enough that I can't even fucking be near him, do you really need to be all over him all the time as if you are trying to mock me about it?

JM: Taehyung, are you listening to yourself? I gave you the benefit of doubt because I truly couldn't believe you were being serious, but now you just proved yourself mad. Are you honestly jealous of me? Of all people?

TH: Why? Are you any less of a men than any other person? - the taller inquired sarcastically

JM: Listen, Taehyung, I don't know what the fuck bit you to make you act like that, but I suggest you drop it now while I can still forgive you for talking this unbelievable amount of shit. - Jimin warned, already beyond angry. - Jungkook is my brother, and whether you like it or not I fucking love the kid and I'll change my name before I change how I act around him just for your goddamn drama-queen sake. Are we understood? Or do you need me to be any more clear? Because boy, I can go on, trust me. - Taehyung just kept staring at him, silently. He was never good at arguments, specially against his own best friend. - Look, I understand it is hard on you both, I understand it sucks. Believe me: I do. But that doesn't give you the right to treat me or any other person like that. I honestly still can't believe this argument is happening because is the stupidest shit I've even been involved with. I highly suggest you to fix whatever the fuck is wrong with that head of yours right now before you hurt someone else like you just did to me. - he finished and left the room, disappointment all over his face and tension in his body.

 

 

 

Eventually Taehyung apologized and they made amends. Yet, Taehyung's head was still beyond messed up. He was constantly having anger attacks, and his former playful mood changed drastically to complete apathy. 

He never mentioned to anyone about how his mother and father laughed at him when he told them all about Jungkook, nor how they told him with a smile on their faces that "Fine. We don't care. If you were expecting a fight, you were wrong. That's just some hormonal bullshit. Happens a lot with kids your age. You both going to find yourselves beautiful women in the future and it will all be nothing but a teenage-hood joke. Plus, it won't be long before you get your feet back in reality, in one way or another, and realize that this terrible joke will eventually cost your entire careers and put an end to it before it's too late."

He never mentioned about the homophobic letter he received, either. 

 

 

_Bangtan's Kim Taehyung:_

 

_I believe I'm speaking for many as I write this letter, so I hope you'll read carefully._

_From the very beginning, when you joined Bangtan, I knew it was a mistake._

_You were this feminine kid, jumping around like a fucking deer, hugging men all the time._

_From day one, I knew you were a disgrace, and turned out I was right._

_Not only your talent resides in nothing but your face (remember to thank you God for it),_

_but also you are a faggot. A goddamn faggot._

_You are not only a filthy homosexual, but you are also a pervert._

_Being a fucking faggot yourself was not enough, oh no. You have to try and drag the poor_

_maknae with you. Are you really that jealous? Are you so jealous of his talent that you need to_

_take him to hell with you? You need to ruin his career like yours is going to be ruined_

_once everyone is aware of your dirty little secret?_

_Do you know when this country will ever accept a fag to be on tv representing us?_

_Do you know when this country will ever accept a fag to be on stages all over the_

_world carrying our nationality? Spoiling our culture and nation?_

_NEVER_

_Since I'm well aware that this disease can't be cured, I suggest you to kill yourself_

_and spare your poor members and your parents the disgrace of your sinful life. Hwaiting!_

 

_XX, an Army with brains._

 

 

That day Taehyung locked himself in the bathroom and cried his heart out the entire night, until Jimin found him in there and sat with him, trying to calm him down but with no success. The younger refused to tell the other what had happened, so he just stood there and cried with him until they both fell asleep on the cold floor. 

Also, the company seemed to start to get extra worried about their relationship getting outed by the media, so they were literally forbidden of staying close to each other during work times, unless it was extremely necessary. From the very beginning Namjoon was the one held responsible for separating the couple and making sure they were not engaging in any suspicious action, and now they included Seokjin as well, so the too boys were literally acting like strangers, which caught the fan's eyes and as they stressed over what had happened, both Jungkook and Taehyung suffered not only for being apart, but also for having to hear all about the crazy theories concerning their "fight" from regular fans, or their "breakup" from shippers and supporters. Things between them were not just hard, but impossible to cope with. Jungkook would vent his stress in the gym, working out like a lunatic. Taehyung would do so with his friends, going out all the time and making new acquaintances. Obviously, they started growing distant towards each other, and Taehyung suddenly started feeling cold towards the younger, which was nothing but an unconscious way of self-preservation, as he tried to save whatever was left of his devastated heart. 

It was on the 5th time the older refused the younger that he finally snapped, and now here they are.

 

 

 

Namjoon explained everything to the rest of the group, while both Taehyung and Jungkook were hibernating for days in their rooms. They were preparing for BST come back, and therefore there weren't schedules outside of the office and the studio, which allowed them all the time they needed to try and heal before having to face the public again. 

With the breakup, the dynamics in their house and group changed once again, and it was as hard on the members and staff as it was on the couple. They would avoid each other at all costs, and would only talk the necessary. Jungkook would only leave his gaming room to work out, and Taehyung was just never at home. During meetings and at work they would still be able to act professionally, since they were no longer the kids they once were; the fans stopped their speculations about their allegedly fight, but the shippers knew better (they always did), but chose not to give it much attention in order to protect them both and help them go through whatever was happening. 

 

 

 

RM: Hey, kid. How are you? - Namjoon asked as he stepped into the infamous "Golden Closet"

JK: Oh, hyung! Nothing much... Actually, I wrote a song. - the younger answered timidly.

RM: A song?? Like, your first full song?? How come you never told me you were working on something??

JK: Yes... it is. - he said scratching his nape - I don't know, it's just... it's personal, actually. I don't have any intention of releasing it. Not that I could even if I wanted to... It's a love song... about a boy. - he finished, fumbling with his white old shirt while the older gave him a sympathetic look. 

RM: I see... But what about me? Do you think I can see it?

JK: Uh... sure. Here it is, hyung. - he answered, giving Namjoon his notebook.

 

 

_If you ever say "see you soon"_

_Should I hold my breathe?_

_If you ever say "I miss you"_

_Would you cross your heart?_

_I keep telling myself_

_"hang in there, be selfish a little longer"_

_But your lame jokes and_

_Your sly smile_

_Are my umbrella on rainy days_

_And even though I'm not sick_

_You're my medicine_

_You heal me_

_And even though I like being empty_

_You take over me_

_You fill me_

 

_Take over me_

_Release me_

_Hold me tight_

_Let me die_

 

_There's just too much on my plate, boy_

_I don't think you'll understand_

_It's not about the world_

_It's about me_

_I keep pushing and pressing_

_Until I can barely breathe_

_This anxiety in my soul_

_Eating me alive like maggots_

 

_I must keep running and turning, boy_

_I can't look back_

_I've memorized your skin on my fingertips_

_I use it like a map so I don't get lost_

_Whenever the darkness creeps over me_

_Your smile is my flashlight_

_And if my world turns black n blue_

_I'll trust our memories to color it_

 

_(take over me) heal me_

_(release me) fill me_

_(hold me tight) heal me_

_(don't) let me die._

 

 

NJ: Oh my... Kookie, this is... this is incredible! I mean... Geez. - Namjoon stood there speechless, reading the lyrics over and over again.

JK: You think so, hyung?

NJ: I know so! This is just... it's deep. I know someone that would love to read it too... but I bet you do, too.

JK: Hyung... please. I don't want to talk about it. It's useless. 

NJ: Just try and be friendly towards each other. Please? You were friends before, you can be friends again now, Kookie. 

JK: I'll try.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> real short because we are reaching an important point and I don't want it to end so soon. Please, be patient <3 Thank you so much for reading it.
> 
> About the song, I wrote it a few months ago :)


	25. Slow Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's complicated. You don't want to get into this mess, I don't want to get into this mess. Please, let's just... Keep things simple, please."
> 
> "I can do simple"

 

 

Things were harder than ever. Not because they had to share a roof with someone they didn't love anymore, but the exact opposite. Both were still deeply in love with each other and God, the thirst was real. BST sexy choreo wasn't helpful at all, and during rehearsals trying not to stare at the other was actually the hardest part of it. To make everything worse, Jungkook's little work out addiction was really paying off, and the boy was just mesmerizing. Taehyung also did some work out to aid the concept, and to add Jungkook's suffering they just got him platinum blonde hair, which looked way too perfect against his honey colored skin. To say the least they were both on literal fire, and the frustration levels were all the way to the roof; they were moody and cranky and all sorts of angry one could possibly imagine - once you get regular bomb sex, blue balls really upgrade to another level, they learned.

 

JM: Why don't you just got back together? Seriously, you both miserable, what's the point!? - Jimin asked from where he was sprawled on the dance studio floor, drenched in sweat.

JK: It's for the best. - The younger retorted sharply, not bothering to even spare his hyung a side glance.

JM: For who, I don't know yet.. - Jimin said sarcastic, now successfully getting a glance from the maknae, except it was a very annoyed one.

JK: How about you and Yoongi, though? This slow burn shit is getting cringy to watch already. - Jungkook striked matter of factly. It's been literal months that the two are going back and forth in their bullshit, still believing no one noticed something is going on between them.

JM: Not my fault! Hyung just... He keeps pretending nothing ever happened, like?? - Jimin answered frustrated, deciding to let go the fact that he doesn't even know how Jungkook even knows in the first place.

JK: Okay, but what exactly happened, anyway?

JM: We just kissed. Literally just kissed. Never even got to second base.

JK: Just once?

JM: No. I guess... Four, five times? I'm not sure.

JK: And may I ask who initiated it?

JM: The first one... I actually asked him to. Long story. Then the rest just kind of happened? I might have initiated most, but he initiated some too.

JK: Well, you don't initiate a kiss if you are not interested. Damn, you don't even give in this weird request if you were not just as interested. There's just no way you can kiss someone you are not attracted to more than once, and that's considering the first time you did out of pity, which is definitely not hyung's thing. - The younger reflected, narrowing his eyes and staring at the blank wall thoughtfuly. He frowned a bit because this whole YoonMin thing brought back the memories of his first kiss with Taehyung. He just sighed bitterly and tried to put on a poker face.

JM: I know he's interested, it's obvious in the way he kisses me. He fucking kisses me like he fucking mean it, every damn time. And it's not even like shit ain't clear enough, from day one I told him how I feel.

JK: I understand where he's coming from. He was the first one to give Taehyung the talk once we started things. You know how Yoongi hyung is very rational and down to Earth. He would never do anything which all the probabilities are pointing to a bad result. Realistically, starting something with you is a terrible idea, no matter how right it feels when it comes to feelings. Well, if Taehyung and I aren't proof enough of it... What a fucking mess. - he finished, his last sentence nearly a whisper. Jimin just remained silent, staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. He knew Jungkook was absolutely right, but when the heart wants, it fucking wants.

JM: I wasn't gonna touch the subject, but... What about you? How are you doing?

JK: Doing. - he snorted - We had a fallout these days. When he got home with his new hair, I just... - Jimin grinned. Taehyung looked like a hot blonde mess indeed - I couldn't hold myself so I kissed him, and he kissed back... Before I realized it we were in my room. - he finished bitterly, looking stressed.

JM: I don't get why you guys keep torturing yourselves like this. I know it's hard, but isn't it harder?

FK: I don't know. - he sighed deeply - I don't fucking know anything anymore.

 

 

Later that day Jimin went to the office, determinated and after gathering some courage, and knocked at Genius Lab's door. Yoongi barely had the time to open it before Jimin jumped straight at him catching him by surprise in a desperate needy kiss, getting him walking backwards until the back of his knees hit the couch and he fell on his ass at it, the younger straddling him right away, never once breaking the kiss so there would be no room for resistance. When he finally had to stop to take a breather, the older looked at him with confused eyes, startled to say the least.

 

YG: Uh... hi?

JM: Hi. I missed you.

YG: I can see. - he said and the younger snickered. - I appreciate the surprise, but I'm actually in the middle of work.

JM: I don't care. You won't make me leave until I get what I want. - he said defiant and Yoongi narrowed his eyes.

YG: Which is?

JM: Answers. - Not only this, but the rest can wait. - Why you keep acting as if nothing ever happened?

YG: What do you mean?

JM: This. Us. You keep ignoring me all the time.

YG: I don't. I guess, I still treat you the same as before, Park Jimin.

JM: Exactly. Hyung, we are not "the same" anymore. You can't possibly think we are, c'me on.

YG: Jiminie, we... I told you about this. It was just an experience, and-

JM: And it worked pretty fine. - he interrupted - I don't think it was "just an experience" all the five times. Was it? - Jimin pressed and Yoongi sighed, realizing it was a lost battle.

YG: It's complicated. You don't want to get into this mess, I don't want to get into this mess. Please, let's just... Keep things simple, please. - The older pleaded, a clear sadness and worry in his eyes as he stared right into Jimin's bright ones.

JM: I can do simple... - Jimin whispered right into the older's ear, bitting into his lobe and getting a hiss in response.

YG: Jiminie... Please, don't say things you are not sure about.

JM: You said the same the last time... - he answered as he kept drawing kisses alongside Yoongi's neck. The older tightened the grip on his hips but never dodged the kisses or whatsover. - Just let me get to feel you... *kiss* taste you *kiss* touch you everywhere - he then slides his hands to Yoongi's tights, giving it a tentative squeeze.

YG: Jimin... Listen, I'm not playing hard to get here, I'm just really trying to make sure you have any idea of what you are trying to do. - Yoongi said as he finally grabbed Jimin's arms and pushed him a little away so he could look at his eyes.

JM: Honestly? I'm not. - he said blatantly - but I'm willing to find out... if you are too.

YG: You never did any of this, right? - Yoongi asked with a fond smile.

JM: Not with a man, no. - he then stopped and seemed a little thoughtful - have you?

YG: Long ago. Way before big hit. There was this dude I've met on the streets... we kind of experienced a few things here and there. - he explained, and Jimin tilted his head cutely.

JM: Want to experience some more? - he then asked and licked his kiss swollen lips, making the older shiver under his eyes.- I could use some of your... _expertise_. - Jimin then placed the last word on the other's mouth, initiating another heated kiss.

 

 

 _"_ Hyung.." Jimin groans as Yoongi’s hand dips into his Puma shorts through the opening of his legs, unsurprised to find Jimin already half-hard. He pulls back and then open his eyes, surprised about his own boldness, but then Jimin catches him by the wrist and pulls his hand back where he wants it. That prompts Yoongi look directly at Jimin's lustful eyes, bringing their foreheads together; he watches the younger cautiously looking for any sign of hesitation, but he finds any except for his heart beating so fast he can even feel it thumping against his own chest. "Assure me you won't regret...", Yoongi starts but Jimin shushes him gently with a finger, nodding his head as to say that they don't need to talk any of this through.  _Keep it simple_ , he said so himself, and that's exactly what he intends to do.

 

 _This is wrong,_ the thought screams in the back of Yoongi's mind, but his body is moving on its own, and in no time his hands start to roam all over and examine every delicate inch of the younger's sinful small body; the younger is nothing but pliant under his finger tips, just the way he have ever been during all these years, always lovingly and selflessly tolerating his snarky and unpleasant attitude, while he took every moment for granted. If nothing, it sudenly feels as if he owns Jimin this. He owns him all the physical love he has been purposely neglected, in order to keep Yoongi's crush well hidden under the carpet. Yes, he has always been a sucker for the younger, from his cute little face, to his cute personality and extremely sexy body: a perfect paradox that can drive anyone insane - and he was not an exception.

 

Yoongi’s heart races as Jimin’s hands grip harder onto his shoulders as his hips grinds downwards, the younger groaning under the pressure he just created. The blonde is starting to get loud, so Yoongi shuts him up with a kiss. It all feels so right and way too good, and the way the smaller keeps shuddering through it leaves Yoongi breathless. His tongue prods through plump wet lips, and they begin kissing roughly while still trying to match each other's hips rhythm. Yoongi's hands finally get a good grip at Jimin's shaft and both let out pleased whimpers through their kiss, Jimin’s lips moving down his chin, all the way to his exposed pale neck; he nibs at it, slowly mouthing every part of it before giving it a bite and a soothing feline lick right after. His small fingers dig beneath Yoongi's shirt, the warm touch of his skin sending waves of pleasure directly to his throbbing member, which was being stroked leisurely by his hyung's pretty and experienced hands. "Take it off. Take it all off, I need to feel you, _fuck",_ Jimins pleads and it's all it takes for Yoongi to roll them over and lie Jimin properly on his couch; the last thing he knows they are completely naked, both leaking members being stroked together in Yoongi's right hand while he massaged Jimin's pretty virgin hole with the left one. 

 

Jimin is lost in arousal and passion, as if he's having an outer-body experience, and Yoongi is no better, although he's way better at keeping his shit together. The older keeps his ministrations in their cocks and in Jimin's ass, ever so slowly, unease turning rhythmic and then dirty, and the younger swears he's running out of oxygen as he expends whatever he has left of it making small huffing noises in the back of his dry throat. Yoongi hisses, legs tightening under Jimin’s thighs as he tries to keep himself quiet to gasp “I’m so close…F-fuck, Park Jimin, you are so-” the younger still has the energy to tempt him over his edge while fighting against his own climax, his own hips bucking up at every chance, but he is also so close,  _so_  incredibly close and he just wants to cum. It just takes one right squeeze from the older right at the heads of their cocks being rubbed together for them both to lose it, moans ripping through the papery walls as the older kisses him to try and muffle the sound. Jimin’s hips are erratic in their movements, and he feels he just might pass out by everything. Yoongi feels amazing against him, just like he predicted, and just like nothing ever came close.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... What an adventure!
> 
> Seriously, it all began as a joke. I tought "how about I just make an One Shot out of fun?" and now... Here we are!! 
> 
> Over 40 chapters and almost one year later (I started writing it at AsianFanfics in Apr 6, 2017) I'm nothing but thankful to any and each one of you for never leaving. You had to put up with my mood swings, update delays, and so on, and yet many of you never left. I have no words.
> 
> Also to my new readers: how did you even find me, I wonder? Anyway, I'm just as thankful for your kind comments and hype words.
> 
> For being the best readers one could ever have, and because Taehyung and Jungkook's love keep growing and maturing each passing day, I decided to keep it going. 
> 
> I want you all to see this history - now, series - as an ode to their love. Let's all hug and share taekook tears! Follow me on Twitter and keep posted to "Fated: A Maknae's First Kiss Prequel"!!!


	26. Coming Soon: FATED

                                 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: image cred to the owner

**Author's Note:**

> this history started as a One-Shot, so the chapter one has a different feeling from the rest. It progressed slowly but certainly, so make sure not to miss the next ones!
> 
> my history is also available on AsianFanfics!


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